When do I break up with him?

[Whenthestormends]

Long story short, history of emotional abuse in relationship, have a 11 month old DD, been living seperately from stbxp for about a month with DD and been going to therapy to try and save the relationship but he is more keen just to find out when I’ll come back than to accepting the issues. After our last session and a long think I’ve decided it would be best to just finish this relationship.

My question is when should I do it, should I call him tonight and just do it as soon as possible or should I wait to see him tomorrow? Really either way I don’t know it matters but just trying to be kind.

Safety first with abusers. If you split right now this minute, does he have keys to your car/house etc? Have you left any important documents at the former family home?

He doesn’t have an keys of mine, he owns the home anyway I’m not on any documentation and entitled to nothing, kind of thankful for that. As for documentation I was switched on and got DDs birth cert and my passport and other docs last time I was there.

Just a debate of over the phone or face to face.

I'd let your family or someone you trust know that you are going to break up with him, and then so long as you have what you need from the house do it. Are you living somewhere you can stay long term.

If you are physically safe from him then do it over the phone.

If he is abusive then over the phone

So I done it over the phone. He got agressive said he is going to go to his lawyer, I just said ok do what you need to do.. followed by a lot of silence. He is still coming up today.

I hope he didn't kick off today, or maybe he'll stay away.

Be safe OP. Are you ok?

He did come around, I am ok just stressed. I created another thread on it.

Got told being a single mum isn’t normal, that I’ve embarrassed him, that I’m crazy, that I need to give him an explaination and that we needed to discuss separating. There was more but it just gives me a headache.