Midwife tommorow and mostly worried about one thing.. someone help?

[Sjoe456]

Okay this is a little embarrassing.. but you know what fuck it were all human.. so I have my midwife tommorow for the first time and I'm very anxious as I know they ask everything. In February 2016 I had an ex boyfriend and sorry for the TMI but he done oral on me and a few days later I got cold sores down there and went to doctors and was told it was HSV type 1 which is mostly just mouth cold sores! I am 10 weeks pregnant on saturday.. and I THINK I'm having an outbreak now but theres no sores my lady area is just very swollen especially in the middle and a bit at the side.. and feels a bit painful.. but I read online that sometimes pregnancy can cause thrush or u can get swollen down there but it's hard to know, as since I was told I had that 3 and a half years I have had I think 2 outbreaks I think and really it was my own fault as I wore to tight Jean's and it sort of irritated it. Now I've been with a guy for 2 years (the baby daddy) and in the past I have tried to tell him about it I said I got this thing a wile ago cause my ex went down on me and it gave me cold sores down there.. and he sort of just panned it off then a few weeks ago I said to him again "Ill have to tell the midwife about the thing I had down there it's just like cold sores basically but its type 1 which is the better type and he goes omg you have herpes then he goes haha joking not a big deal and that was the last we ever talked about it... will I have to say to my midwife tommorow and will the doctors say infront of my boyfriend In the future?? Everytime I try talk about it he just sort of pans it off but I'd rather have a mature convo about it.. we have been together two years and he has never had any symptoms. Thank u guys for listening

You need to speak to your midwife about it as there is a risk of you passing it onto your baby in labour.

Thank you PP. I will definitly say to midwife but I read apparently it's like a 1 percent chance if you got it before you were pregnant cause ur body builds up anti bodies and I think they give u medication 4 weeks before your due date x

Yes you need to let your midwife know, she will probably refer you to the consultant if they are active. She will probably make a note of it in your records.

Your partner doesn't sound very mature

I’ve also got HSV1, though am lucky not to have had an outbreak in 3 years. You do need to tell your midwife at your booking appointment, but all that happens is that you will have to take anti-virals in the last 4 weeks to prevent outbreaks. When the baby’s in your womb it won’t affect them (though if you have an outbreak you should go and get medication so it passes quicker because it bloody hurts!), but babies can catch it during a vaginal delivery if you are having an outbreak then and it can be very dangerous for them.

I wouldn’t expect the doctor to bring it up, but if they did presumably it’s ok since your boyfriend already knows?

@fortheloveofscience have you had any babies and did you deliver yours with no problems naturally?? Does it sound like I'm gettin one now ? My "down there" is just very swollen and achey but theres no sores, yeah I think my boyfriend gets it.. I dont think he actual knows it's the herpes virus I think he thinks it's just like a one off thing, we havent had a big convo about it, but I just said to him years ago I was told I had hsv and it's basically cold sores which I'm not lying that's all it is, I'm just really scared incase It annoys him that it could maybe be passed onto our baby but I read online it's like a 1 percent chance if you got it before u fell pregnant as your body builds up anti bodies x

In my previous post when I say I think my boyfriend gets it I mean i think he understands it but just sort of pans it off

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3332182/

The other poster are correct. It’s very important you tell your midwife early.
Nobody will care or judge you, whichever type of Herpes you have, (cold sores are also a variety of Herpes). The only thing that would be worthy of judgement is not telling your midwife at the earliest opportunity so she can minimise the risks to your baby.

Just make sure you don't have sex with your partner if you are having symptoms of genital herpes, he will get it. Just like you would catch the cold sore if you kissed someone with one. Also, definitely tell your midwife.

sjoe456 I’m currently 34 weeks pregnant with my first. I’ll be calling the doctor next week to make sure I have my antivirals ready for when I’m 36 weeks . When I told the midwife at my booking appointment she wrote it down, but it hasn’t been mentioned since.

Yes the PP’s are correct. You need to disclose this at your booking appointment. The only time it would cause an issue is if you were having an outbreak during labour and/or delivery. They will give you acyclovir anti-viral medication to take from 36 weeks onwards. In some localities they may also recommend a c-section.

Also pop to the GP to check and see if what you have at the moment is presenting as an outbreak. If it is you will need treatment. Vulvas do become vascular in pregnancy and they do swell, this is normal but if you’re sore or you notice any active sores you need to be treated as soon as possible.

Do women refer to their vagina/vulva as 'lady area'?

Will the doctor mention it again in further appointments ?? Might say to my boyfriend about it again

There’s such an odd stigma that somehow cold sores are so different to ‘herpes’, when it’s essentially all just the same virus that pops up in different places. If you get cold sores, you have herpes... simple!
I doubt your midwife will say anything too exciting, they may just ask when your last outbreak was/how severe it was etc.
Have your GP look to see if they can give you a definite answer as to what it is now, they may send a few swabs off. Hope it clears up soon and you’re not too uncomfortable!

You may be referred to a consultant obstetrician for a review following your booking appointment with your MW. They generally send appointments through the post for this.
If you are meaning will the GP let the MW know about you going in and getting checked out then generally no. You will have to disclose this at the following MW appointment.

If you've been having unprotected sex with your boyfriend (you know, seeing as you're pregnant), won't he have caught it by now too?

And don't worry about telling the midwife. She'll have seen and heard everything.

Your boyfriend's attitude seems very immature though.

Yes please tell your midwife, I know it's hard but don't be embarrassed; they honestly see things all of the time and it's important to do what's best for you and baby :)

Thanks guys, well.. my bf probly does have it but he has never had any symptoms in the 2 years , one thing I do know is my boyfriend used to get cold sores on the mouth, only because he told me one time cant even remember how it came up in convo, nah I was meaning like if me and my boyfriend ever go to a doctor appointment together or for any future scans will they mention it infront of my boyfriend??

will they mention it infront of my boyfriend??

Why does it matter if they do? You've already told him you have it. He probably has it too. Surely the safety of your baby is the most important thing here, not worrying about whether or not your BF has a strop?

I really don't understand why you're worried about this being mentioned in front of him. Or why he would get annoyed.

Yeah but I dont think he understands what it is i think he thinks it's just an infection and it happens once, tommorow after my mid wife I'm just gonna say to him look that thing I told you about when your pregnant they have to keep a close eye on it, yeah definitly I'm worrying to about the baby but i read they give u medication 4 weeks before?? Its extremely unlikely i got it 3 and a half years ago

In a few short months, your boyfriend is potentially going to see you pissing and shitting yourself whilst a baby comes out of your vagina. I wouldn't be embarrassed about the herpes.

But is it a big deal?? I always had it in my head people judge you for being a slut or something.. I didnt even get it from sex which is annoying it was from oral.. I read alot of people have it without knowing, hahah yeah that is true PP

You have and STI and your having unprotected sex with a partner that you have not fully explained what the STI is despite you knowing?

Whenever we first started goin out I told him theres a chance it can be passed, and I insisted we used condoms the he said he didnt want to use them