Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Husband Sleeps On Sofa

98 replies

Mileysmiley · 08/08/2019 05:56

As the title says my husband won't stop sleeping on the sofa (he has already wrecked 3) This is true unfortunately. I am about to order a new one from DFS but I am worried he will wreck it as well. He usually starts off in bed and then pretends to go to the loo and ends up on the sofa watching tv.

Any suggestions how to get him to stop doing this because I am at my wits end?

OP posts:

Original poster

Mileysmiley · 08/08/2019 06:53

@burritofan

That is a good idea!

OP posts:

honeylulu · 08/08/2019 06:54

I know what you mean OP. It's slobbish and it does gradually spoil the sofa.

When one of my husband's friends used to come to stay he would insist on sleeping on the sofa (ostensibly to not put us to the trouble if preparing the perfectly good spare room though I suspect he preferred it because he could watch TV etc) and this really annoyed me after a while. I didn't want someone sweating and drooling over it all night.

It's your husband's house/sofa too though so you can't really give him orders.

I can recommend the sofas from Nabru. They are really very firm and durable. I got these for the kids tv room after they completely trashed our old sofa leaping around on it, sitting on the tops of the back cushions etc. The two seaters are not long enough for an adult to lay on comfortably - maybe get two of those?

honeylulu · 08/08/2019 06:55

Oh and don't get another cream sofa, it's asking for trouble! Ours are dark brown purely to hide a multitude of sins!

jasmine1971 · 08/08/2019 07:17

I bought my 3 piece suite from Divani, a branch of Sofa Sofa, 17 years ago and it is still in perfect condition. I've only had to have 2 of the back cushions filled with new foam. It only cost about £350 as well in the sale - excellent value for money! I've had it professionally cleaned a couple of times and it always come up fantastic.

whirlwinds · 08/08/2019 07:35

Creams and whites are doomed to stain and look shabby without constant upkeep. we have had a sofa for 9 years and it looks as good as new, everyone in the family and visitors have slept on it, I camped on it for weeks at a time when poorly after hospital. It is a sofa leather sofa not unlike www.dfs.co.uk/proctor/pro53apmu?origin=All_Leather_Sofas. Invest in a sofa that he can sleep on and does not gets wreaked for him doing so. You are not his parent or master, if he likes sleeping on the sofa parts of the night it is his home too. www.dfs.co.uk/delta/dlt33aoho?origin=All_Leather_Sofas looks ssturdy though expensive.

whirlwinds · 08/08/2019 07:36

sofa leather- SOFT leather.

rwalker · 08/08/2019 07:53

leather sofa and any sagging sofa you can get repaired. Tell someone where and when the can sleep in there own house sound a bit controlling TBH.

Original poster

Mileysmiley · 08/08/2019 07:58

@rwalker

He is costing us a fortune in replacement sofas and I have paying for them out of my OWN money ... not controlling at all imo

OP posts:

Parent999 · 08/08/2019 08:04

This really made me laugh, thanks. If broken sofa's are the biggest problem, then you guys are doing ok. Let the poor guy on the Sofa, cheaper than a saggy bed isnt it?

MarianaMoatedGrange · 08/08/2019 08:04

Why are you paying for new sofas solely out of YOUR money?

MilkTrayLimeBarrel · 08/08/2019 08:05

I feel for you OP! My DH ruined my last (Cream) cord sofa which I loved by sleeping on it and pulling it out of shape. I now have a beige leather one which is more up to the job but I still wish he wouldn't sleep on it (which he does most nights, with the TV on!). If the scatter cushions are anything to go by, I dread to think what residue might be on the sofa itself! Yeuchhh!

Nanny0gg · 08/08/2019 09:12

When you sleep in a bed it has a sheet and often a mattress protector.

A sofa does not. So someone sleeping on one every night is not pleasant for the people who sit on it in the day.

Fillipe · 08/08/2019 10:00

But don't you both miss cuddles and spooning every night, OP?

sassandfaff · 08/08/2019 10:16

I don't get mn sometimes.

Must people change their sheets weekly. How is it not minging that he sleeps on the sofa, night after night with no sheets down?

And if I got up every morning to my dh sprawled all over the couch, it would seriously bug me.

He sounds like a slob. (I said 'sounds'. He may very well be a go getter...)

Scott72 · 08/08/2019 10:28

A decent sofa won't sag in the middle from someone sleeping on it and will still be comfortable to sit on.

PixiKitKat · 08/08/2019 10:34

I'd get him to buy one out of his money! Why are you having to pay for it??

whirlwinds · 08/08/2019 10:36

Regarding the point of sleep directly on a sofa, leather one in our case, no one does that. There is something between the person and the sofa. The issue for OP seems to be the sagging, so she needs to invest therein.

cricketmum84 · 08/08/2019 10:37

OP why are you more concerned about your sofa than your husbands MH?

Have you even asked him why he sleeps on the sofa?

I notice you are only replying to comments about the practicalities of him sleeping on the sofa. Do you just not care about the reasons behind it? It's hardly normal behaviour??

LuckyLou7 · 08/08/2019 10:42

I'd be more concerned about the fact DH sleeps on the sofa all night instead of coming to bed. What's he avoiding? You still have sex so presumably not that. It's not usual for married couples to sleep apart. Oh and as for having to replace the sofa regularly, shop at charity furniture shops instead of John Lewis and DFS.

00Sassy · 08/08/2019 10:47

It's not usual for married couples to sleep apart.

Isn’t it?

Fillipe · 08/08/2019 10:58

Must be lonely when it's every night?

SaraNade · 08/08/2019 11:10

I don't understand your obsession with the sofa. That is the very least of your worries. I would be hurt if my husband continued to sleep on the sofa instead of our bed. You seem to have a relationship issue, not a sofa issue. WHY is he not sleeping in the bed with you? And most people have a tv in their bedroom anyway so why can't he watch tv in bed with you like normal people do?

SignedUpJust4This · 08/08/2019 11:11

I'd be more concerned as to why my husband didn't want to share a bed with me. Maybe I have issues though because my dad did this and it was the beginning of the end for my parents.

Original poster

Mileysmiley · 08/08/2019 11:33

@SaraNade

It is definitely a sofa issue ... he has never been normal!

Just ordered a new one ... I now have to train bugga to sleep in a bed again lol

OP posts:

MilkTrayLimeBarrel · 08/08/2019 11:45

Actually I don't necessarily agree with people who say it isn't normal for married people to sleep apart - I HATE sharing my bed - DH snores, fidgets, get up at least 3 times a night for the loo (I know!!), and then gets up for the day around 5.30. I hardly sleep at all when he is in it - much prefer my own space,

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread