Wasn't sure where to post this but a few nights ago my partner bathed our 10 month old son. I was downstairs and could hear baby crying but he crys a lot lately due to teething and the heat so didn't think too much of it but after a couple of minutes of it getting louder I went up to check everything was OK. I went in and he was holding baby in a lying down position and saying you will lie there till you learn to let me wash your hair without fighting, he wasn't holding him roughly or tight but enough that he couldn't sit himself up and was getting more and more upset.
I got the towel and took baby out and asked what was going on, he said as soon as he lay baby down he started trying to sit up and crying, which he always does because now he can sit up in the bath he hates to lie down.
Partner thinks it's acceptable to hold baby in lying down position till he stops crying as eventually the time held in that position will get less and he will learn to just allow us to wash his hair.
Although I agree with the overall idea that doing something enough will teach a child to learn, such as naughty step/continually return to bed type thing, I don't think this is acceptable at 10 month old (in fact he's actually not quite 10month yet).
I tend to just lie him down quickly wash and rinse his hair, maybe taking a bit longer each time, then sit him up to wash and play. I know eventually he will need to learn and there will come a time to teach him that he needs to get his hair washed but I feel he is too young to actually understand consequences.
This has caused massive arguments as he thinks I am saying he isn't allowed to discipline our son and he needs to learn and not just be allowed to do whatever he wants.
This is obviously not the case at all I have no issue telling him no or stop touching or whatever but at the same time I don't actually expect him to take much in at this age i do it in the hope that one day he will take it in although when I tell him no he will stop and cry but soon enough will go back to whatever he was trying to touch in the first place but I do not think it is acceptable to hold him in position until he learns to stop.
I tried to use the example he fights at nappy change time too so by his logic rather than just quickly cleaning/changing and yes I suppose holding him in position for as long as that takes, I should be holding him in position until he stops fighting before I change his nappy as that is what he done with him in the bath but apparently thats different??
I'm due back to work in 2 weeks and I am now feeling uneasy about leaving him to do bath times, I know this isnt am I being u reasonable but am I? Is what he done out of order or am I over reacting to be mad about it?