Where to start!, Well firstly I apologise for the rant that I am probably going to be doing, it'll be all over the place and probably not even make sense. Anyway here goes... I am having a nightmare of a time at home. I have two young kids (toddlers at nursery), I work part time and while I am at work my kids are at nursery. My husband isn't working and picks them up and night, I am normally just in shortly after him. He makes all our dinner, including mine, but he is just so unreasonable with me, if he has a hard time with them, its me that gets in when I walk in the door, he insists I take over as he has had enough of their shit!, cant deal with them anymore its about time I took my turn bla bla bla, all the while he is shoving my dinner in front on me moaning, ranting about all the work he has put into it if I don't sit down to it immediately even though he wants me to deal with the kids.
He never sits down with us for meals, more times than not he is drinking, he thinks he has earned the right to that as he has been busy in the house all day, like I do nothing, I go to work, out of the house for 10 hours come home to this, and two tired kids (overtired sometimes) and the barrage of abuse that is coming from him. He thinks he has the hard end of the bargain, when I finish with the kids, getting them to bed, sometimes that could be 9PM, he insists that I take my turn and take the dog out for a walk, as he has had to do it all day, if I tell him I am tired and up at 6am next day as I have work, he screams and balls up at me that I am a lazy fat cow, my kids have started to repeat his language and shout things at me. I try to ignore him but it makes him worse, he gets louder screaming upstairs at me, when kids are in bed I normally go to bed to block it all out, sometimes I do take the dog out just to get away from it all, but if I am too tired I don't back down I just go to bed and ignore him.. It starts again next morning when I have to hurry to get to work, if kids act up, for example telling me they are not wearing what I have put out or don't want to brush teeth etc and I am in a hurry I have to tell him he needs to take over I need to leave for work, I get called all the names under the sun told I shouldn't be a mother, etc etc. I need to go to work why doesn't he understand that. If someone comes to visit I hope and pray that they don't say something that will set him off as its me that has to listen to his rant when they leave.
If I discipline my kids, take toys away, raise my voice /tone then he threatens me that he will record me shouting and will report me to social services, I am not doing anything that any mother wouldn't do, I am raising my voice when I need to , I don't like this but cant have kids ruling me.
Forgot to mention he even brings up things from my past, like me dad being a drinker, not being there for me when I was young, which isn't true he was a drinker but sorted it out and is a great dad now. He twists everything people say and uses things against me, I have even had to delete friends and family's numbers from my phone and change my pin on my phone as he wants to send them messages when he is drunk as he thinks they don't do enough to help us with the kids, (our kids!) both our families are very supportive and help with the kids as much as they can. He sings along to songs on radio and changes the words to insult me it has gotten to the stage there are songs I cannot listen to without hearing his abusive version.
I spend most of my time off work out with the kids as I cannot take being in the house with him. If I arrange something like a day out with friends and their kids he complains we never do anything together although on days were we have no plans, and I ask him to come out with us he laughs in my face, tells me to f**k off and says he needs some time to himself he is knackered as he has the kids all the time, not sure where he gets this from they are at nursery when I am at work. I can't win.
Please help, What can I do, I cant take this much longer but I know if I leave it will upset my kids and also he wont leave us alone? He goes on that he feels ill, this is taking its toll on me I feel ill, help?