Hes a prick!

[onetiredmummyto4]

Long time lurker here. So basically my DP and I have been together for 8 years and have a DD together. I have DC from a previous relationship too.
Yesterday an argument started with him and my DD (14) he accused her of eating something of his, she denied it then he proceeded to call her a "thieving cunt"
I had a go at him, told him nobody calls my kids a cunt and he said "ok, thieving bastard then". I lost my rag told him how much of a prick he is and not to bother coming home from work today. He will though, he's nowhere to go.
This morning I got up with our DD and he said "sorry for swearing yesterday" I ignored him because I've literally nothing to say to him.
I love him but no man will ever speak to my kids like that.
He thinks I'm overreacting, I think he's a prick.
I'm right surely?

Ofcourse you are. And he is leaving when?

As soon as possible as far as I'm concerned, done with him and his shit

You're right. If any man, up to and including her father, called my daughter a cunt, he would be toast. How fucking DARE he?

Does he speak to you like this?

No he doesn't he's never called me or any of the kids that before. It's like he thinks because hes apologised I should be letting it go, not a chance.

Do you own the house OP? If so pack up his shit and leave it outside the front door.

We rent and the tenancy is I'm both names

Good on you for not tolerating that language directed against your child.. I applaud you

Wow - He said that to a 14 YO!!!
Totally unforgivable in my book.
I'm so glad you sound strong and you are looking out for your DD.
What was the food item?
Why was it such a big issue?
Has anything like this every happened before?
Not that's it any excuse but just wondering where this has come from?

It sounds like this isn't the first thing he has done that has annoyed you. It sounds like this was 'the straw that broke the camel's back'. I don't think you need a bunch of strangers to tell you that YANBU for thinking this guy is a prick. He really is! Who calls a child names like that?! What an abhorrent man!

It was a packet of sweets, so ridiculous and petty if you ask me. In the past DD has helped herself to stuff that he's bought for himself but has always admitted it when she's done it, this time she swears blind she didn't but like I said to her even if she had it doesn't condone him calling her that.
Yeah a few things lately have annoyed me, his general miserable old man face mainly, acting like he's in a mood but when pulled on it says he's not.
Yesterday was the decider for me, that's a line he's crossed and I can't come back from that

He called your 14-year old daughter a 'thieving cunt'!?

He's out.

No excuses.

No apologies accepted.

Terrible way to behave.

Please text him and tell him to make arrangements to stay elsewhere starting from TONIGHT.

Oh wow, yeah that’s next level awful. That would be it for me too I’m afraid. Sorry you’ve having to go through this, how stressful.
So what’s the plan OP? Do you think he’s just going to come home and minimise it all? I’d have his shit packed and waiting for him on the porch.

You’re right to get rid.

Pack his shit. If he tries to argue tell him that you’ll let social services know how he behaves in front of his own child, and toward a 14 year old girl.

And see about getting him off the tenancy. Can you afford it by yourself?

Jesus, I thought I'd read it all on here, but this made my mouth drop open? He called a fourteen year old a thieving cunt? And then changed it to thieving bastard?

Why does he feel able to come back? Why do you seem willing to let him back? That's the question. Because that's not acceptable in any way. It's a game over move.

What a vile sounding man!

Glad to hear you are getting rid of him. Too many people put up with this behaviour and make excuses.

I’m sorry but no amount of grovelling on his part would atop me kicking him out. Some things are unforgivable and that’s one of them

Fuck me he’d be out the door quicker than I could count to 1! What a vicious bastard!

Even if she did eat it so fucking what! She’s 14 years old and should never ever be spoken to like that in her home.

I’d change the locks!!

That's awful. You're right, OP, there's no going back from that.

I assume his half-assed apology did not even include your DD? Pathetic.

Nope DD has had no apology.
I've text him and told him what I said yesterday still stands and he's not welcome back. He obviously thinks it's a case of giving some half hearted shitty apology and all will be well again, he's wrong.
I deserve better than that and more importantly so do my kids

I deserve better than that and more importantly so do my kids

You're absolutely right and it's such a relief to hear you say that.

Stand your ground.

Stick to it op. Because if you take this abuser back it sends a message that you're ok with your child being called a cunt in her own home.

It is an immediate end game, the sort of animal that would call a young girl a cunt, shouldn't be anywhere near them ever. They aren't fit to be called human.

Thank you for all your replies, I knew I wasnt overreacting.
I will 100% stand my ground. Like I said, I do love him but I love my kids more. I'd rather lose him than have my daughter thinking I didn't put her first

He needs to leave. He will try and apologise to your dd and then try and get her to feel bad for him. So she will convince you to give him another chance

Dont have him back at all.

Wise woman. He sounds awful.