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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband took non consenting nudes of me

58 replies

Quirkyfox3 · 30/07/2019 21:15

In april I found pictures that my husband took of me while sleeping (passed out...we had a night out) naked, it was zoomed right in on my privates, I also found pictures where he would photoshop my face on other naked womens bodies, and videos of me getting dressed in the mornings. I told him about it, and felt that I could forgive him even though it was the second time this has happened and I have forgiven him before. Fast forward to now, I found emails of him on live webcam porn sites, 8this awakened these feelings again, now he is angry and sad that I am having a very hard time forgiving him. I am horrified that he might have.posted them online, he swears he hasnt..but I cant trust him anymore. I feel all my emotions all mingled together. Im sad, angry, disgusted, dissapointed and horrified all at once...he keeps appologising...but I dont know if this can be fixed, I hurt so much inside...I cant even look at him. I want to leave him but he keeps saying we can fix this...I dont think I can or even want to. I asked him to move out, he says its only for a few days, he is going to stay with his mum, because I need space, now she thinks I have kicked him out of our house, and that I am being unreasonable, but she does not know the truth..only what he has told her

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 30/07/2019 21:17

I'm so sorry, op. This is horrendous. A total deal breaker as far as I'm concerned. If him mum confronts you I would be telling her exactly what kind of pig her son is.

Coffeeandchocolate9 · 30/07/2019 21:17

That sounds horrible for you. What the hell did the privileged git think he was doing?!

Littlefluffycloudos · 30/07/2019 21:19

I would go to the police that’s disgusting, I’m really sorry. This isn’t ok

PeoniesarePink · 30/07/2019 21:19

That's utterly unforgivable.

And I'd report him to the Police for it. Once is bad enough - but twice? He knew exactly what he was doing.

This must be awful for you Flowers

JK1773 · 30/07/2019 21:26

That is a horrific invasion of your privacy and probably a criminal offence. I could never ever get past that. Totally violating

Sweetpea15 · 30/07/2019 21:27

He didn’t have your consent, I’d go to the police. I’m sorry, but you can’t trust him.

thethoughtfox · 30/07/2019 21:30

Tell his mum.

Shoxfordian · 30/07/2019 21:31

He's disgusting
Call a solicitor if you haven't already

Thesearmsofmine · 30/07/2019 21:34

Tell him mum the truth and please consider reporting him to the police.

justasking111 · 30/07/2019 21:36

I would tell his mum, maybe she can get the truth out of him.

Boots20 · 30/07/2019 21:47

That is horrifying he took those photos of you, I'm sorry but he is a complete pervert & so devious & sneaky. Run for the hills god knows what else he is up to that you haven't discovered, the fact he took him while you were asleep & unknowing says it all, I'm so sorry for you he has completely betrayed you he is a creep

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 30/07/2019 21:50

Horrible man! Yes, tell the police and get a solicitor - and then once the wheels are in motion tell his mother what a disgusting creature he is. Don’t tell her too quickly though. She’ll speak to him and he’ll have time to cover his tracks.
With this kind of sick minded fuckwit, nothing is fixable. Outraged on your behalf that he should even presume to suggest this.

SuzieQ10 · 30/07/2019 21:55

Absolutely awful.
You tried to forgive him the first time and look how that's turned out.. stand strong this time. You don't need to be treated this way, you will never trust him again (and why the hell would you). Report him, that might give him the shock he needs.
Really sorry you're going through this.

LookWhosInTheRejectBin · 30/07/2019 21:55

He has NO respect for you. Seriously. You're a sex object to him, nothing more. I'm so sorry you've been violated like this.

I'd be reporting him, and divorcing him ASAP.

Take care of yourself OP Flowers

Pinkbonbon · 30/07/2019 22:38

Horrific! How you ever forgave it once is beyond me. He's a total sexual deviant and you need to get fat away from him. You would be well within your rights to speak to the police too. He is a liar and has no remorse or he wouldn't have repeated (and escalated) the activity. Its actually scary to think what else he could be capable of.

PickAChew · 30/07/2019 22:44

You've been far too patient and forgiving of him already. What a vile sleazebag.

Pinkbonbon · 30/07/2019 22:52

Just a thought-check your bathroom. Wouldn't be surprised if there was a camera in there too.

CalmdownJanet · 31/07/2019 00:03

Definitely tell his mother what a dirty bastard she has as a son and definitely do not let him back in the house, what a creep

Skittlenommer · 31/07/2019 00:23

I agree with those saying go to the police and seek legal advice. He needs to go!!

C0untDucku1a · 31/07/2019 00:27

DId you post about this at the time? I remember a very similar post.

Throw him out, see a solicitor, call the police. Do you have the evidence still?

1forAll74 · 31/07/2019 03:09

I would tell his Mother the truth, she probably has no idea what disgusting ways he has. And I would imagine that you cannot live with him anymore. If it's in his make up to stoop to this level of vileness,he is not fit to be with any woman.

Quirkyfox3 · 31/07/2019 04:20

No I never posted before on here, but I have seen the other post that is similar.

OP posts:
Monty27 · 31/07/2019 04:30

Sack him off and take legal action

Youreadthebabybooks · 31/07/2019 05:21

This is voyeurism
It’s completely illegal
They would arrest him and seize his phone he may have other stuff you haven’t seen
Please report this to the police
Voyeurs are devious and dangerous
There are lots of articles online about how people who take photos like this end up committing sexual assault