AUBU to be upset with my best friend?

[Papamama87]

This is a bit of a long story so bare with me.
When I was younger I went out with a guy for a couple of years who I lived with. Long story short we split up and he ended up marrying a girl who he met through me as she was one of my good friends, we fell out when she got with him as at the time I couldn’t stand seeing them together and I was hurt by my friend.
Anyway it’s 10 years later now, we’ve all moved on etc and she sent me a friend request. I accepted cos everyone has moved on and I don’t want to seem like I’m still holding grudges.
I then see my best friend - I’m talking best friend who I’ve known many years, one of my bridesmaids etc - was friends with her on facebook. She only knew both of them through me and didn’t stay in touch with either of them, and new full well how hurt I was.
I see she’s commented about how beautiful their wedding video was, liked a lot of photos of them together.
AIBU to be upset by this? I just feel a bit.. betrayed?

This is mental

I find your views on this all realllllly bizarre.

You added her on Instagram and liked photos. Your best friend noticed (you didn't tell her) and commented to you. You've since added her on Facebook.

She added her on Facebook and liked some wedding photos. You noticed and think it's not okay and that she should have told you.

She hasn't lied to you at all and she hasn't withheld any more information about social media activity than you have.

It all sounds like you're behaving like a teenager. It was ten years ago. Time to properly heal and get over it now. You don't need to bare a grudge with her. If you were genuinely over it you wouldn't be reacting to your other friend being her social media connection.

The best friend not showing to your events is an issue for you and her to work out.

I wouldn’t like a photo of her ex with his new girlfriend just out of principle and even if she was hot if my friend was hurt I would join in saying how rough she looks!

Seriously, this is the daft behaviour of teenagers. You're an adult, why on earth would you think this behaviour is okay?

It's time to grow up and let go.

Thank you all for your opinions, I won’t be responding to this thread now :-) xx

Because it didn't go your way and hasn't become a bitchfest against your supposed best friend?

Yemen I’m not sure exactly what you want me to say - yes because I still cry over an ex every night from when I was 20 and stick pins in photos of his wife’s eyes?? I’m so unhappy in my life I’m suicidal?
NO because I’ve got what I wanted - opinions both for and against what I’ve said and it’s helped me see both sides so I no longer need to post or reply.
Some people on this site can be down right nasty and have no tact at how they say things at all.
That’s why I won’t be responding.
This will be my last post on both this thread and mumsnet as it’s a bully boy site.

the point is I feel that she should dislike people who hurt me as she is my friend?
Real life doesn't work like that.
Mature adults don't behave like that.

YOU chose to accept the friend request off the person you claim 'hurt' you....You even 'liked' her photos....You choose to interact with her.
You can't still be 'hurting' then can you?
The past history obviously doesn't affect you.

You've just got a childish grudge against this woman for daring to date an ex bf of yours, and you're probably pissed off that she 'succeeded' where you didn't.

You have absolutely no grounds - or right - to dictate how your current friend conducts her social life.

I don’t use Facebook anymore but when I did, most people on there meant nothing to me and I think it’s the same for lots of Facebook users. My DH barely uses his account anymore and he has admitted to not having a clue who some of his ‘friends’ on there even are.

I think you have reacted like a bit of a teenager if I’m being completely honest. Your friend is allowed to comment on someone you hate’s post, it doesn’t make her less of a friend to you. You’re not 15 and this isn’t the playground.

I wouldn’t have accepted the friend request in all honesty, none of this would have happened if you’d ignored it.

I'm going to stew with you op. I'm actually very level headed and mature but I'd be at this situation. Not so much with the girl that enemies up with you ex but the other friend.

Ended up with not enemies

@Papamama87 take care. Sorry some people have been nasty to you, that's so uncalled for. You probably won't ever read this but hope you are ok xx

You need to start posting passive aggressive images on Facebook....you know the one's...usually posted by people who think they're being really clever when everyone else thinks they're being a muppet.

This will be my last post on both this thread and mumsnet as it’s a bully boy site.

Gotta love this

Posters always say this when they're not getting the advice they expect

Yes, AIBU can be harsh but if you don't want harsh don't post on AIBU. Post in relationships or chat.

You're wrong @Papamama87 - end of. Change your perspective on this or forever feel hurt and bewildered

I’m sorry OP but this is just silly.

This will be my last post on both this thread and mumsnet as it’s a bully boy site

Oh a proper flounce then. 😂

I don't use Facebook and never have. After reading this thread, I'm glad I don't!

Look at this objectively, OP. It's is ridiculously childish!

Why are you 'friending (accepting an invitation to stalk) someone who means nothing to you?

Why do you get to say who is allowed to 'friend' (stalk) who?

Why are you wasting your life on this shit?

You say you are happily married. Why are you not spending your time and energy on your real life rather than looking into he lives of other people who upset you in the past?

Why?

OP: 'AIBU'
MN: 'yes YABU'
OP: 'No I'm not, you're all bullies, flounces off'

Some people just can't see that they are ever in the wrong, I try to avoid people like this in RL. Why come on here for an objective opinion when you won't hear it?

Is your friend just one of those people who always has to comment on Facebook as a front to make her look good? My sister is like that, I took a girl to her wedding like 10 years ago and she left me after the wedding because our family is so crazy. She got engaged about a year ago and my sister posted congrats on it. I am like, why would u do that? Like idc but what makes you think she cares about ur comment