Martin Lewis on Financial Abuse

[TanMateix]

Just saw this in the BBC website, Martin Lewis from the Money Saving Expert website talking about how to spot signs of financial abuse in a relationship.

It is an interesting view. I am sure for many of us losing part of our financial independence was someway the expected thing when you get married, but just in case it helps any one not to fall in the same trap, here it is

I’m glad that Martin Lewis has put his name to educating people about this.
I still think the UK must move mountains in terms of legislation that protects women from financial abuse. Particularly when women are forced to give details of their partners earnings in order to claim things like child benefit if they’re a SAHM.
The fact that a partner earns 100000 a year is absolutely no indication that the SAHM is adequately provided for sadly. For men that financially operate under the radar (cash in hand etc) women often live in fear of exposing their partner , and potentially catastrophic results that could have for them and their children (threats of violence , knowing that so many men are able to shirk maintenance, threat of homelessness due to inability to obtain credit etc).

I think the main damage lies in the general belief that the best thing you can do for your children is to give up work and become totally dependent on your partner/spouse.

I know quite a good number of professional women who did this. Some are struggling financially after divorce or death of their partner. Others are staying in unhappy relationships because they cannot afford to leave and others are resorting to work in cash on hand jobs or irregular work to have some money to themselves that is not highly monitored by the husband, who doesn’t even has the kindness of providing them with some pocket money... living in beautiful houses but in poverty.

100% agree Tan.
Becoming a SAHM is just a really really risky move.

I am sure for many of us losing part of our financial independence was someway the expected thing when you get married, but just in case it helps any one not to fall in the same trap

I think it’s a far more serious and worrying situation when someone gives up their financial independence to a man they’re not even married to. At least with marriage there are some legal protections. I know many women who’ve allowed their incomes and pension contributions to take a real hit to go part time with kids when they’re not even married to their partner (who of course continues working full time and seeing income and career progression). It’s a pre requisite to me that if I’m going to go part time we will be married and with completely shared income (in separate accounts for our own protection, but all drawing from the same shared account even though I’ll be paying in far less due to having no choice but to work only part time). So many women sleepwalk into situations that mean if they split up from their boyfriends they’re screwed.

@TanMateix

Absolutely agree.

I made the decision to stay at home 20 years ago with my children and have never regretted it.

I have always had my own money and full joint access to our substantial means.

However, I definitely wouldn't advise my daughter to do the same.

I am married to a lovely man for nearly 30 years but reading about financial abuse on MN has been truly eye opening.

I can see the number of children being born sliding further,
as women remain in the work force full time, and the sheer slog of trying to do both jobs becomes a reality for the next generation of mothers.

Working full time with several children is very very hard work. It doesn't get easier as they enter the teen years either.

In future generations I can see women choosing and protecting themselves a lot more.
Having lots of children can make a woman very vulnerable to the vagaries of life.

alot of financial abuse happens in retirement age, inheritance has been dished out pensions are open - Up ramps the abuse by one partner