Does size matter?

[IFeelSoConfused]

NC because I know i'm being really shallow

My ex was quite big - but in girth and length. We broke up at the start of the year due to wanting different things in life and he turned out to be quite selfish with only doing what he wanted to do.

Anyways, been seeing a new man and he is absolutely lovely. He really dotes on me and treats me amazingly.
But the only problem i have, and I know it's a shallow one:
We dtd for the first time last night and he was small. I don't know if he is small or im just comparing him to my.ex.

He definitly doesnt have much girth and it didnt seem very long either. I'd say about 4-5 inches but it's put me off slightly and i'm wondering if this is something that can be overcome?
I know, it's shallow and i'm gutted because i genuinly thiught he was so nice.

And i know this is weird, but once i got home and was by myself, i cried about my ex which i havent done in a long time

I'm so confused :(

My first long term parter was very well endowed, decent sex but we grew apart and split up. My current dp is about 5" with moderate girth. I was attracted to his humour and kind nature and we shared a lot of interests. The first time we got intimate I got that same pang of disappointment, it was nowhere near as big as my previous partner, but we experimented with positions and have sustained a happy and sexual relationship for 20 years now. The more you fall for this guy the less you'll think about your ex

I had a very similar experience about 10 years ago OP . I had broken up with a very well endowed ex who I was head over heels with. I subsequently met a lovely guy who was somewhat smaller and I kept comparing. I decided to finish it in the end as I wasn't sure I could enjoy the sex. However I am not usually one to regret, but still look back and wonder if I made a mistake as he was really much better suited to me personality-wise (and in lots of other ways) than every other guy I have been with since then. Lesson learned.

Ignore the unpleasant replies OP.
You've asked a perfectly reasonable question.

I'm glad you've chosen to keep going and see what happens. If he's a nice guy in every other way and you've got physical chemistry then that's great. You can't compare first time sex with someone to sex with someone you've spent years getting to know what each other like.

If it becomes a real issue then you can end it. Anyone can end any relationship for whatever reason and sexual chemistry is one of those reasons.

My DP is average length & above average girth & I think we're a pretty good fit. I've never been sore after sex with him, but, with my STBXH, I was often sore & would frequently get urine infections.

STBXH had a very big penis that was a weirdly lumpy shape - really uncomfortable for me.

I think size might matter if it was perhaps a couple of inches! My first husband was above average , 2nd fairly small and fiance is probably 8 - 9 inches and very girthy. Hes a very good lover but I have to sometimes ask him to be less vigorous as it can be really painful so large can be not so good too!

No it doesn't matter. DH was much bigger than DBoyfriend before. DH is an idiot with not a penny in him. I wish I'd never met him.
We haven't had sex for 15 years. He doesn't have a job. He's horrible if I question him about the future.

Not so big first boyfriend was a decent chap.

Now, at the end of the world, it doesn't matter apart from the young ones who need to do the f...ing, fighting, food.

My 'big' man is a nothing but a huge scrounger. My life ended the day we became one. I hate him and his nothing to offer ever.

He had a big cock. It's all over now.

Oh god I can’t believe some of the nasty replies! Obviously some men with tiny willies on here (or their unsatisfied miserable wives)

And what’s all this bullshit about lovely men having small cocks and horrible men having big ones, it’s is possible to have a good size penis and be a good partner and be good in bed. What a load of pigswill!

@Tweetingmagpie
I actually think there has been a wide range of answers here:
Some preferring bigger, some preferring smaller.
For everyone woman who's said they didnt like the big ones, there's been another woman saying they don't like the small ones.

So in conclusion: it's all just down to personal preference

Ridiculous judgment from people obviously feeling touchy about their own size, or lack of.
We all have sexual preferences, it's something that's out of your control, and everyone is entitled to their preferences, within reason.
Also plenty of men prefer big boobs and that's usually a given, it's just seen as exactly what it is, a preference.

Er, lesbians enjoy penetration too. Just not a bloke on the end of it!

Ignore those who call you shallow op.

It's puritanism and a good dose of misogyny that says women should have no needs or preferences in the bedroom, and nor should they dare be unsatisfied by a man.

I am spoiled and have only had larger partners, so be it, I have no complaints. Maybe I've got a wizards sleeve for a fanjo. Sure, who cares, I'm fine with that. Let the teeny fanjoed pearl clutchers enjoy the smaller blokes, we can't help how we're made and it can be really frustrating when the anatomy just doesn't work between two people.

And it's awful to have a wonderful physical connection and then realise the man's an arse, conversely.

I hope things improve with your man op. FWIW my dp is v v well endowed, but he was objectively awful in bed at first. Def had "I have a big un and therefore no need to try, also I'm sort of embarrassed that I haven't developed any sex skills" syndrome. It took a few months and hes amazing now. Everyone's different and that's ok. We try our best and sometimes things get better, sometimes they dont, it's just life.

Do you think you could try other methods for orgasm, such as toys?

And it could be worse: I once had "sex" with someone who had a penis the length and girth of my thumb (I don't have particularly large hands). So about 2 inches hard and 1 to 1.5 inches in girth. My first thought was "I had no idea these came so small." Yikes.

It matters yeah. But both ways. Too big is just as bad as too small. After a bad experience with a bigger guy who actually split the back of my partners throat open we both prefer smaller to average and ignore people who immediately mention their massive cock.

My partner is bigger than average I'd say and nice and thick. I think it's mostly about fit. I'm a lot tighter down there than most (people have asked of its "normal" to be that tight.) But others, bigger and smaller havent felt satisfying at all. My partners just seems to hit me in the right places.

I am 100% sure I'd struggle to find another man as satisfying for me tbh. I never realised just how bad the sex I'd been having was before I met him but I think that's also because of chemistry and feelings.

Surely the whole process of dating is shallow?

We choose partners based on their physical attractiveness and our attraction to them.

I rejected perfectly nice men for all sorts of reasons in my younger days...too short, too old, can't drive, dress sense, hairstyle etc etc

It's fine to reject someone if you're not happy with any aspect of them, providing you're not insulting or rude to them about it.

It might have sounded a bit harsh when I originally said shallow, but if you meet a guy who is great in everywhere but yet you seriously considering calling off the relationship because of an average sized dick then it is a bit shallow yes.

Obviously some men with tiny willies on here (or their unsatisfied miserable wives)

Obviously some women with baggy vaginas who can't satisfy a man or be satisfied by one unless he's hung like a horse