Does size matter?

[IFeelSoConfused]

NC because I know i'm being really shallow

My ex was quite big - but in girth and length. We broke up at the start of the year due to wanting different things in life and he turned out to be quite selfish with only doing what he wanted to do.

Anyways, been seeing a new man and he is absolutely lovely. He really dotes on me and treats me amazingly.
But the only problem i have, and I know it's a shallow one:
We dtd for the first time last night and he was small. I don't know if he is small or im just comparing him to my.ex.

He definitly doesnt have much girth and it didnt seem very long either. I'd say about 4-5 inches but it's put me off slightly and i'm wondering if this is something that can be overcome?
I know, it's shallow and i'm gutted because i genuinly thiught he was so nice.

And i know this is weird, but once i got home and was by myself, i cried about my ex which i havent done in a long time

I'm so confused :(

I would wait and give it a second chance. Could be stress and anxiety. If you find him attractive in every other way, try one more time.

My mum's only marriage advice to me:

"Never marry a man with a small willy."

It's the only thing that's got me through my most recent break up! 😂

Hmmm not sure on this, I’m not convinced a small one can be that great, but one day I could be proven wrong. But if the sex is a bit meh and you want more than meh, the you need to put your needs first.

There is that old saying ( I think it goes like this )

' It's not the size of the ship, it's the motion of the ocean '

Could it be that he just didn't do it for you ? And if thats the case, big or small, still isn't going to rock your boat !

It matters for some people and not for others. Some people im sure even prefer a small to average one, but theres nothing wrong with preferring a big one either, but id definitely think this was an occasion where you let someone down gently or make a different excuse, as its not exactly something he can do anything about or anything to feel bad about

It wouldn’t matter to me and I certainly wouldn’t judge someone after one session.

The crying over your ex is more the problem
Here for me.

RLEOM. Wow, let’s hope you never have a son with a small penis. What a disappointment he will be to you.
What a depressing thread

Wow i didnt expect this post to get so many answers,
It's really interesting to see people's opinions on it!
I'm going to continue seeing him, I like him a lot and, even if in the end it doesnt work out between us, i'd rather end it because the connection genuinly wasnt there, not over the initial panic after our first time,
He can't help his size but he is really confident with it and I really enjoy his company,

I will continue to update everybody on how it goes!

God what a horrible thread!
My XH was big and it caused us problems. It bloody hurt in certain positions and he wasn't kind or caring enough to ensure it didn't. I've slept with me who have smaller and tbh it's the man who is important, not the cock:

I'm going to continue seeing him,

Lucky him . Hope he knows how honoured he is, that you're deigning to keep seeing him despite what a disappointment his dick is.

Hopefully, he'll find someone less shallow...

I don't think he should feel honoured that i'm continuing to see him,
I didnt mean it the way it came across,
I've said from the start that I really like him;
I just wanted some advice that's all.

Dump him OP. You’ll be doing him a favour. He deserves better and will have dodged a bullet.

Personally there is a certain length / girth that’s fantastic for me and means I can totally relax and just enjoy the orgasms. However, if someone is a bit smaller than this then I’ve found the stronger my pelvic floor is the more satisfying it is. If you’ve got a strong pelvic floor then you can, erm, grip around smaller penises.

It's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean which counts

Or maybe youve been stretched so much by the monster penis' of the past that he seemed small

YANBU. I once had sex with a guy who was maybe 4 inches... I genuinely struggled to tell if it was in at first

IMO sex is the hot, sticky glue that keeps a relationship together and if you're not feeling then what can you do?

My DP is 7" and he said he had a girlfriend who dumped him for being too small! She likes them monstrous, apparently, and made no apologies for it.

OP, obviously don't dump him and tell him why, no point in twisting the knife.

What if he's now thinking you are too err baggy? Very difficult.

Well quite @Windygate

I'm sorry if i offended anyone with this post.
I really do like this guy and I have felt so lucky since i've met him to meet somebody like him!
I asked this because i didnt want to end it with him, I like him sooo much that it was frustrating me that my brain was only thinking about one thing;

I think everyone has doubts and thoughts sometimes when dating, it's normal;
I think he's amazing.

You haven’t offended me OP. But you shown yourself to be immature and possibly not ready for a proper relationship. I suggest you don’t get involved with this man whilst you’re figuring it all out.

If you can't talk about taboo subjects and come on MN to speak honestly then where can you? I applaud OP's honesty.

OP, with time and practice and lots of loving sex you will get used to your man. There are so many amazing sex toys out there that you can enjoy with a loving and amazing man. (You will soon forget about selfish big dick who made you feel like shit)

@IFeelSoConfused
I totally get where you are coming from and it is so difficult not to compare.
But, at the end of the day sex does not keep a relationship together once the honeymoon period is over. It is the person that counts and that's what is important in the long-term.
If he is the right one for you - you will most probably end up loving everything about him.
Good luck.

@RonnieScotss and @MaeveDidIt
Thank you for not judging!
That's where my mindset is now.
And i totally agree with everything you both said.
At the end of the day, people gain weight, become ill, lose hair, and other there are other scenarios where looks can change,
But a lot of people still love their partner, even in sexless relationships/marriages.
I do think personality is more important because we all lose our.looks in the end.
Obviously it's early days and we may not last but I did feel giddy when he messaged me before and when i think about him - so good sign?

I spent 8 years with DC dad having never orgasmed properly through DTD and it ruined our relationship because I never wanted to have sex with him. We ended up being more like friends that lived together than a couple. Most recent ex was MASSIVE in both length and girth, knew exactly what he was doing, was very unselfish in bed and we had amazing chemistry, When I start to date again I definitely wouldn’t want to go back to small and no effort after that you need to have sexual chemistry in a relationship IMO

It's not shallow to not want unsatisfactory sex. I wouldn't want to be with someone smaller than 6 inches. Just wouldn't work for the type of sex that I like. EVERYONE has sexual preferences. Penis size is one of them