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Original poster

Does size matter?

93 replies

IFeelSoConfused · 23/07/2019 09:58

NC because I know i'm being really shallow Confused

My ex was quite big - but in girth and length. We broke up at the start of the year due to wanting different things in life and he turned out to be quite selfish with only doing what he wanted to do.

Anyways, been seeing a new man and he is absolutely lovely. He really dotes on me and treats me amazingly.
But the only problem i have, and I know it's a shallow one:
We dtd for the first time last night and he was small. I don't know if he is small or im just comparing him to my.ex.

He definitly doesnt have much girth and it didnt seem very long either. I'd say about 4-5 inches but it's put me off slightly and i'm wondering if this is something that can be overcome?
I know, it's shallow and i'm gutted because i genuinly thiught he was so nice.

And i know this is weird, but once i got home and was by myself, i cried about my ex which i havent done in a long time Blush

I'm so confused :(

OP posts:
formerbabe · 23/07/2019 14:07

You can end a relationship for absolutely any reason or no reason. Even if the reason is selfish or shallow.

Pinktinker · 23/07/2019 14:07

I have had absolutely fantastic sex with a man on the smaller side (approx 5 inches) and shit sex with bigger guys. It’s not always about size at all.

I think you’re not over your ex.

Disfordarkchocolate · 23/07/2019 14:09

Can you compare first time sex to sex with someone who you've practised with? It might be that it will take a few weeks/ months to find out how you both please each other, there are probably positions that will be much more fun with your new partner than they would be with your X.

KnittingForMittens · 23/07/2019 14:12

Kind of. I've had sex with a man with a long and medium sized girth penis and it felt great but it didn't feel absolutely fantastic. I've had sex with a man who had a penis the size of a maggot... dreadful and embarrassing but let's not go into that Envyand my husband who has an average sized 5-6inch penis and feels great! Have you tried a different position to see whether it might feel better, OP? Doggy-style or squeeze your pelvic floor during sex to "intensify" the feeling IYSWIM?

Musti · 23/07/2019 14:21

Well before having kids, I preferred smaller but now after a few kids, big is definitely better. My ex is very well endowed but the guy I was last seeing was smaller even though physically he was a lot bigger and broader. It didn't affect my feelings for him at all, but penetrative sex wasn't brilliant and he wasnt great in bed.

Stillstrawberrywater · 23/07/2019 14:28

Are you shallow? Yes you are.

Does size matter? Yes, it does.

Does the size of a dick the be all or end all to a relationship? That's up to you, but if you keep on comparing previous partners then you will probably never find someone you are happy with.

SleepingStandingUp · 23/07/2019 14:42

You like kissing him, the foreplay is good and he is generous in bed. On top of that you like his personality and get on well.

Unless it's a micropenis then it's perfectly possibly to have good sex with a smaller penis, you just need to be over your ex and not compare him mentally to him. There was a reason you broke up with your ex afterall

NameChangeNugget · 23/07/2019 14:46

You can end any relationship for whatever reason you want. An infrequent or unsatisfying sex life is as valid as anything else OP.

forumdonkey · 23/07/2019 15:01

Sex is important, good sex is essential, cock size isn't relevant if the sex is good

The best sex I've had has been with average, including orgasm through penetration alone. Big can hurt and IME they've dropped their pants and think a big cock is enough and they have been the one's who just think all they have to do is pump away.. Personally, penetration is only a part of sex and a generous skilled lover makes for amazing sex regardless of cock size.

Original poster
IFeelSoConfused · 23/07/2019 15:23

Thanks everybody,
It's good to hear other people's experiences,
He's not mirco, i'd say just below average but it's the girth that I wish was thicker,

Maybe i'm not as over my ex as my thought but at the same time i'm thinking about the nice dates i've had with this one,
Maybe it's worth seeing how things go with him?

OP posts:
Original poster
IFeelSoConfused · 23/07/2019 15:24

Is 4-5 inches just below average?

OP posts:
Original poster
IFeelSoConfused · 23/07/2019 15:30

My ex had kissed other girls on a night out (well twice he admitted to), and i never really met his friends but I did love him and we shared 5 years together,
He didnt actually want to breakup and but my anxiety levels were at a high with him and i felt i was just crying all the time.
When we'd argue, he wouldnt speak to me and would tell me i'd brought it all on myself.

This man i'm now is seeing has always been a friend of a friend but I only reallygot to know him properly a couple of months ago,
I felt instantly attracted to him and he made me realise how I wanted to be treated. He works hard, makes good money and has always been in long-term relationships.
My ex has been my only serious relationship so he's all i've ever known;
But he'd be so man if he found out i've moved on quickly :(

OP posts:
Tish008 · 23/07/2019 15:34

If he is as lovely as you say then it's worth trying out different positions and toys to see if it improves the pleasure for you. If not and you think it's a deal breaker you have at least tried.

Bookworm4 · 23/07/2019 15:39

‘It’s not the size of the nail, it’s how you hammer it in’
A lovely saying, maybe give it some thought 😉🤣

KingMidasAteMidges · 23/07/2019 15:39

OP you are every man’s worst nightmare. This is exactly why in patriarchal societies they don’t want women to have pre-marital sex, as then they wouldn’t know any better then. The husband is all they have experienced.
Sorry no solutions.

Tweetingmagpie · 23/07/2019 15:41

It would matter to me, it’s a deal breaker tbh!

WanderingTrolley1 · 23/07/2019 15:55

It matters.

IamtheOA · 23/07/2019 16:02

I dated someone once who was pretty big....

He was incredibly selfish.....

I still miss his c*ck sometimes though. Not him.

Stick with the nice man.... sex is often a bit underwhelming the first time round- there are huge expectations, and sometimes people just need to warm up

Original poster
IFeelSoConfused · 23/07/2019 16:09

Yeah exactly, if he was the only man i'd been with, i probably wouldnt blink an eye but as a human, it seems a natural instinct to sometimes compare!

OP posts:
Original poster
IFeelSoConfused · 23/07/2019 16:11

Hahaha @bookworm4 it probably is a true quote!
I suppose there's no harm in giving it ago,
At the end of the day, the penis is not the be and end all of sex, if that was the case, there wouldnt be any lesbians,
So, I'll continue to see him and atm put it down to first-time nerves/disappointment,

He can't help his size i suppose but i suppose first impression can be wrong?

OP posts:
Miniloso · 23/07/2019 16:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
IFeelSoConfused · 23/07/2019 16:33

@Miniloso it's so nice to hear from someone in a similar scenario!
The sex with my ex was amazing with lots of chemistry, and i've never been with someone below average and I wasnt expecting this new guy to be below average - Deep voice, muscular so i just felt it didnt match;

8 inches is big though! Is the new guy your with average in size or "small"?

OP posts:
Original poster
IFeelSoConfused · 23/07/2019 16:34

And same with this new guy for me,
He remembers even small details i say about myself and literally makes me feel like the most wonderful person around and he makes me laugh so much

OP posts:
Scorpiovenus · 23/07/2019 16:35

Hell yea it matters

Tell him to take his teeny peeny somewhere else. Sorry but once you had a good size you probably wont accept smaller, it don't feel the same is not a visual turn on and I'm not loose in any sense of the word. Size matters to some of us. I used to laugh when I used to get dick pics of dating sites. Once a dude send me one and no word of a lie must have been about 3 inches long LOL

Miniloso · 23/07/2019 16:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.