My husband has admitted to cheating on me with sex workers

[BestUseADifferentName]

I found out yesterday when he accidentally sent me a message he meant to send to one. He tried to pass it off as the first time bullshit and make me feel sorry for him with how he's been feeling and mental health stuff. I got him to show me his bank statements this morning and now he's admitted he's been seeing them for three years. We are splitting up. I'm a stay at home mum with a puppy so I'm pretty fucked.

He's gone out to walk the dog.

DD is going to wake up soon. She is 7. I don't know how to be okay.

I've read these threads on here for years. Now it's my turn to LTB.

So sorry op

He’s scum.

Not only is he cheating he’s so low he embarrassingly has to pay for it.

Get a an STD check.

So sorry to read this

Three fucking years? Jesus, I'm so sorry.

I was just thinking of the thousands of women who must be in this position but not knowing about it.

I'm so sorry for you and your daughter.

Can anyone else go on the holiday with you?

I'm going to take my niece with us on the holiday so DD has something to take her mind off it.

Thanks for commenting everyone.

I just wish I could switch my mind off for a while and stop thinking about this. I feel like if I could give myself permission not to think about it for a while I could feel better for a bit, but I can't seem to work out how to do it. I have a constant sick feeling and knot in my stomach and my head is spinning with thought. I was up at 4am this morning and I'm shattered. I tried to sleep but just can't.

So sorry op I agree get yourself checked out

Oh OP I'm so sorry

Do you have a joint bank account? Do you have an account of your own? If yes then I would transfer money from the joint account to yours. If not then I would suggest opening your own account online now and once you have the details transfer the money. There was a poster recently whose husband left and emptied the account recently. Also get online and change any benefits over to go into your account and as soon as he moves out look at sorting your tax credits out and your single person council tax discount.

Is your property owned or rented? Joint or single?

We own it together. He says he will keep paying for it and rent somewhere else.

We have a joint account but it's only for bills, there isn't extra money in there.

No words from me, BestUse, others have said it all but I really feel for you.

I'm SO sorry OP. I can't imagine how you must be feeling after finding that out. Your mind must be going into overdrive.
I just want to say I'm thinking of you and sending you positive thoughts. I know it won't seem like it now but you will be happy again!

I'm going through another sick to my stomach/can't think about anything else/shaky period.

I know I will feel normal again at some point, but atm I'm just so scared of feeling like this forever.

I never want to see him again. He makes me sick.

Take him to the cleaners for every penny you can....if you don't the sex workers will.....be strong you and your daughter deserve better x

I'm so so sorry OP he is a piece of shit. For you and your DD you are doing the right thing.

I'm so so sorry OP he is a piece of shit. For you and your DD you are doing the right thing.

Do you need to get yourself tested for STDs?

So sorry op have you got a friend you can call

Make lists. Lots and lots of lists. An entire fucking brain dump - let it all out. At this stage you are still in shock and coping admirably. Tell everyone - get your story in the open before he spins a line of woe.

Financially, don't trust him. He is feeling remorseful at the moment, but that won't last forever. Think about what you will need in order to be independent of him. Thank goodness your DD is 7, which will help with childcare costs.

At

OP, don't leave your house. Make him go. If you're out, you might not get back in.
Don't believe him on paying for things - they change their minds! Get a solicitor, financial advice, do not be 'kind' to him. Be ruthless, for yourself and your dd.
You can probably tell, I'm divorced. I was too soft, too gullible.
Don't go for a legal separation, just go for divorce, as quick as you can.
Over thirty years later, I still remember how I felt when we split. It's horrible but you'll get through it.

Ah jeez. Sorry to read that. One of my relativess made a big revelation about this about 8 yrs ago. He actually expected his wife to forgive him and continue their marriage. Er, no. He's patched things up with his kids, at least.

Relative+Wife were fundy religious holier-than-thou types, too. Like a bad soap opera.

Oh my god what an absolute bastard, stay strong OP you've had a massive shock but time heals all and you WILL get through this

Taking your niece will be a good distraction for your dd.

Get some legal advice ASAP.

I'm going through another sick to my stomach/can't think about anything else/shaky period.

I know I will feel normal again at some point, but atm I'm just so scared of feeling like this forever.

Yes you will feel normal again. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and focus on getting through today.
Talk to family and friends, let them support you.

You won't feel like this forever. One day at a time. Going on holiday with your DD will be a brilliant way to focus on you and her, and nothing else.

Be kind to yourself. This is a huge betrayal. It will take time to feel normal again, but you're doing the right thing. He's an absolute cunt.

I told the school this morning in case DD got upset.

I had to hold back tears and practically run out of the room after telling her.

I told the school we'd split up, not why.