My husband of 25 years gay...

[Corinthian44]

I'm going through a divorce, I asked him a few months ago when we decided to split if he was gay because it would explain his behaviour and I would feel better, but he said he wasn't.
I found out 2 weeks ago he is, so I sent him a 5 page letter expressing how I feel especially as he took 50% of my inheritance as part of the settlement.
I am very angry and bitter but also feel ridiculous that people will laugh about my stupidity.
Don't know where to turn for support.

OP - please, please, please go and have a chat with a good family solicitor about this situation, ASAP. I'm saying this as a lawyer - not a family one, but on the first read of your story, you definitely need to see one and take it from there. Please don't wait with this. All the very best to you

I know this is an old thread but I wanted to update that I have taken legal advice.
At the time of arranging or legal agreement I was under immense pressure, living in an intolerable atmosphere and sleeping on the sofa (what man would let you do this?!)
It appears inheritance is a grey area and may go my way may not, it would cost me thousands. The fact he disclosed his sexuality later won't have any bearing whatsoever. I could stop the decree nisi going through but I have to ask myself... Do I have the money to do this and gamble with? Probably not! And do I really need the stress because I have had so much in my life and want to move on. Have I been a fool ? Yes! I feel I've been well and truly shafted and because of this I'll be retired long after him which really hurts because I've worked 42 years and I'm knackered!
However hindsight is a great thing, I have to think I'm in a happier place and move on.
I just wished he would have some morals and do the right thing but I know he won't.
Moving on I can't possibly have any relationship in the future because of what I feel he's done to me.

I think you maybe have some form for burying your head in the sand op. Just about every poster has said go to a solicitor and you are still denying you need to.

That's the point, I have said I'd taken legal advice.

@Corinthian44 it might take years to sort out finances - is the inheritance worth fighting him for?
It's shit but would you be happier just getting him out of your life?

I'm glad you're feeling a bit better.

You might not have a relationship again, but you might meet someone who makes you feel differently. Look after yourself and enjoy yourself

If it was a short marriage with no children I would say it might be worth fighting for but as you were married for 25 years I would have thought he would be entitled to at least some of it although I know it’s a grey area legally.

Having had a very messy divorce myself involving court proceedings, I would leave it in your position.

Given the advice wouldn't a renegotiation be worth pursuing? He'll hear the same thing presumably. He might well accept a reduced offer rather than risk everything.

OP, I'd be very much inclined to push your solicitor to advise you fully, are there grounds for challenging the agreement, such as, for instance, duress, undue influence or lack of capacity to contract at the time of entering into the agreement? If so, the solicitor should advise you on the prospect of success and recovery of the legal fees from the other side we're you to challenge this in court. It screams for an out of court mediation to me, based on what I read from you.