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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What's he doing?

81 replies

postinganon · 10/07/2019 00:28

I'm in my mid to late 20's and out of a long term relationship, and like most people began a sort of "friend with benefits" relationship with a guy in my building. He's in his late 30's and recently single himself.

The reason I say "sort of" is because he knows I like him a lot. I told him this when I was quite drunk, but at the time he was in a relationship and said he did like me too but we couldn't act on it.

He knows I'm not on any contraception and we only started having sex recently, so it's not an ongoing thing, and also not a relationship because we don't go out. We just stay home, smoke, watch movies.

This may be TMI, but our method of contraception is withdrawal. Very dumb and playing with fire I know! But the last time I saw him, which was recently, he finished inside me and didn't care or seem shocked. I asked him if he did and he said yes.

Is he trying to get me pregnant or does he just not care?

OP posts:
Bignicetree · 10/07/2019 19:46

Glad you took the morning after pill. This shows you have a level of responsibility .
Please continue being responsible and gain control of this situation

Graphista · 10/07/2019 19:52

The map is pretty unreliable (it's hard for them to know for sure as they have no way of knowing if a pregnancy would definitely have occurred if it weren't used as you can't prove a negative type thing)

It also is completely useless for sti's! Some of which have the potential to shorten your life!

Are you really willing to risk your LIFE for this guy? Your long term health, your fertility, hell even just the plain embarrassment of having to tell future partners you have a long term sti?

I'm quite sceptical the op has even taken map to be quite honest.

I think she's on a self destructive spiral and wants to get pregnant.

motherofcats81 · 10/07/2019 23:09

I took the morning after pill two days after a mishap during sex 20 weeks ago... and I have my second antenatal scan on Friday. Luckily I want a child but my point is you can't rely on that OP.

Some posters have been quite harsh but it's only to get you to see what this is. Have you asked him why he did that? It is extraordinarily disrespectful and violating. You should walk away from this man who clearly does just want to get his end away.

hellsbellsmelons · 11/07/2019 09:23

Yeah, this really happened, didn't it?
I bloody hope it didn't.
But there are some seriously deluded people out there.
It's friggin' frightening!

NameChangeNugget · 11/07/2019 10:30

I’d be as equally concerned, that he may have knob rot

HippyTrails · 11/07/2019 10:37

sorry OP but you appear to be clutching at straws here in the desperate hope he wants to be with you. If he wanted to he would be by now.

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