I need new single female friends over 35. Where can I find them?

[DorothyParkersCat]

I am single and nearly 40. I'm a high earning professional with a demanding work life. I used to have a very busy social life but over time my friends have got married and had kids and have little time/inclination to involve me in their lives. I've really tried (proactive socially) but never get invited to couples dinner parties.

I have a handful of few single female friends but these have dwindled in number sadly due to cancer and bereavement and others moving abroad. I recently had a very bad experience where I got royally fucked over and betrayed by a woman who I thought was a friend but realised wasn't.

So I look around at my life and realise what I need is a new network of single women of my sort of age. I've volunteered for a long time but the demographic is women younger than me. I do lots of extra curricular work in my job but again the single women are so much younger than me that I feel like an aged creep even going for a drink with them.

Any suggestions of where to start or where to look?

I really have no idea where to begin. What I'd like is a few friends like me - who are my age bracket, single and have a reasonable disposable income (so I'm not buying friends - women who want to do the sort of things I want to do and can afford it)?

It feels like the whole world is married or in a couple and if they aren't they are so much younger than me.

Meet-up app is very good.

Bootcamp? It's quite expensive so the women who attend might be similar income types and might also work as it is intensive and gives fast results. And it's usually quite dynamic types who go there.

What are the sorts of things you want to do once you've made some friends? Are there ways of doing them and finding friends that way?

I recently joined a sports group where we all have just a great time together that I can imagine ending up friends if we all stick with it.

Hi - this is Mumsnet so the majority of posters have DC which puts them in a very different situation to you.

But I was in a similar situation to you in my late 20s and found joining things like Spice opened up new social groups. My advice would be to find groups around things you genuinely love - choir/walking/reading/sports - then you will make friends based on something long term and sustainable.

You might find that some of your friends who aren't single and who have kids begin to have more time as their kids get older. I know lots of professional mothers who still manage to go out with other women for activities they value - maybe just a drink, or a theatre trip or a ski weekend. It sounds like you are pretty busy yourself, so you aren't necessarily looking for someone you can meet up with every week. Try rekindling some old friendships as well as finding new ones.

Choir? Local feminist group?

My running group is made up of mainly women.

Join Guiding. Or the Women's Institute.
Both fab organisations.

Meet up app. Is great for this. I joined 4 years ago when I got divorced. Best thing I did. Met some fab people blokes and women. Have fun days out. Nights drinking and dancing, quiz nights, bowling. You can pick and choose what suits you but the more you go to. The more people you meet the more friends you make.

I second boot camp!

Having just left stbxh (which incidentally predictive text turns into stench!!) I am in a similar situation! So watching with interest for tips. Zero desire to date!!!

I also wouldn't discount younger women. I am single, late 20s and have older female friends I enjoy spending time with.

If you’re in London, one of the women’s private members clubs? There might also be women’s networking groups related to your career? The School of Life also do conversation meals - I went to one years ago and it was quite interesting.

All my new friends in the last few years have been made through work or studying. If that hadn’t been the case though I’d be in the same boat - I’ve had one die, several move abroad, one turn out to be too self-obsessed to be capable of friendship, and of course quite a few having children - most of whom I’m still friends with but see less of. Although to be fair my diary tends to be as busy as theirs, but for me it’s studying rather than looking after children and ferrying them to various activities.

I’m in the same boat

Another shout for boot camp

Girl crew app

I’m fascinated by the boot camp suggestion as it’s not my thing at all. Do you socialise afterwards?

Yes my boot camp goes to the pub. My running club organises loads of social events and volunteering at park Run is good fun.

I also second meetup, try a few groups to find the one that's right for you. In addition, I've met friends at smaller theatres and arts venues I attend regularly (think fringe), evening classes and political party meetings.

My neighbor started a 'book club'
We never did read a book.

What relevance is your income? Maybe its this attitude which prevents you from meeting people.

I am recently separated at 41 and know no single people. Like at all! So I’m in the same boat.

I’ve joined Bumble Friends (which I didn’t know existed) and have started to look into a couple of local groups.

For those who use Meet Up how do you find genuine, good groups? When I search London I get a load of weird ‘improve yourself’ type groups or ones that seem to be for those trying to hook up I.e single 40+ meet ups at All Bar One, not my thing!

Op if you live in London give me a shout!

Why with the specifications? Seems weird and demanding.

She's just looking for folk in the same position as her, not really weird or demanding 🤷‍♀️

I'm the same OP, nearly late 30s, single, no kids and due to ditching main female friend group (long story but decided they brought nothing to the friendship table for me, I was the meh friend) I'm considering trying Meetup and the like.

I have other friends who I don't see often and I'm building work friendships but I'd like some that like doing the same things as me - eating out, gigs etc. Or maybe it's a boyfriend I need! 😂

The disposable income bit I REALLY get, one of the reasons I ditched said friends was I was SO sick of hearing 'got a tenner to last me until Tuesday, sorry can't afford that' when I asked if they wanted to go out for dinner, get tickets to a gig etc.

It was all the time and they could afford it, they just knew I'd go 'I'll get it' or buy the tickets and they could pay me back at leisure as it was either that or I couldn't go. And our disposable incomes were the same.

Fair enough some people don't want to spend their money on eating out (but were more than happy for me to pay) but I'd like friends who do!

Ladies Circle, there’s a group in most towns, you meet up, have a few drinks/food or do an activity (everything from golf to self development sessions to wreath making) and it’s a really good laugh with a very supportive group of people who have your back

supercee agreed!!!