I need new single female friends over 35. Where can I find them?

[DorothyParkersCat]

I am single and nearly 40. I'm a high earning professional with a demanding work life. I used to have a very busy social life but over time my friends have got married and had kids and have little time/inclination to involve me in their lives. I've really tried (proactive socially) but never get invited to couples dinner parties.

I have a handful of few single female friends but these have dwindled in number sadly due to cancer and bereavement and others moving abroad. I recently had a very bad experience where I got royally fucked over and betrayed by a woman who I thought was a friend but realised wasn't.

So I look around at my life and realise what I need is a new network of single women of my sort of age. I've volunteered for a long time but the demographic is women younger than me. I do lots of extra curricular work in my job but again the single women are so much younger than me that I feel like an aged creep even going for a drink with them.

Any suggestions of where to start or where to look?

I really have no idea where to begin. What I'd like is a few friends like me - who are my age bracket, single and have a reasonable disposable income (so I'm not buying friends - women who want to do the sort of things I want to do and can afford it)?

It feels like the whole world is married or in a couple and if they aren't they are so much younger than me.

How about your local WI???
I'm not sure if I'm kidding or not.
Otherwise, meetup.com is good.
They often have singles meet ups for certain age ranges.
I'm too bloody old for all of them now -

There is always the option of starting your own meet up group. I know it is a tenner a month so worth it I would imagine.

I think the trouble with singles meetups is that it means singles as in dating or looking to meet someone. I'm not interested in that at all. I'm just looking for single female friends for friendship and socialising to rebuild a social support network for myself.

The whole word single carries with it that looking for someone vibe - singles holidays and so on.

I have no interest in meeting a man at all.

"I go to charity fundraisers often were tickets are anything between £100 - £500. I enjoy opera for example and stalls tickets are £200. I'd like friends to go away with for a weekend but I always stay in good hotels. I love fine wine and fine dining too."

This does narrow it down a bit - as really you are looking to make friends in the top 5-10% of the income distribution. I like opera and travelling myself but I buy the £35 tickets in the gallery and stay in B&Bs.

So the question is, where do high-earning single 30-something women hang out? Maybe a luxury yoga retreat or something like that??

Meet up groups aren't pitched at single. They are men and women alike and no emphasis on dating at all.

Where I live they are all the wrong age group. Perhaps later when ds is 16 or something I will set up my own one. Until then I can't be bothered.

My local WI and choir look like they have awfully dowdy women go.

@DorothyParkersCat there seem to be a few of the Mumsnet members that are in a similar position. Perhaps if you disclose your general location ( county ) you might find some are close ?

Sorry if I missed it but where do you live? I live in east London and while I think it's true here as everywhere that kids are a good "common ground" for starting friendships, there are plenty of other ways.
Look into your local women's institute - we are lucky in London to have groups which include 30s and 40s women (though lots older too and we all mix well), and have lots of sub groups based on shared hobbies - eg art, books, cinema. We are free to start our own subgroups.
The other route is choir or dance class, our local choir all socialise together and have a great time. Includes theatre trips etc.
Running was the other one, but you said that's not your thing, fine. Maybe there's a meet-up or club for something you do enjoy?

I find that when you get into one thing it might lead to another - there are people who are born organisers and run this club and that know everyone and everything that's going on. Hope that you get into the orbit of one of these people, show willing and before you know it you'll be roped into all sorts of things and something hopefully will stick, and you'll find your people 😁.
Good luck