Clare's law

[Moofreemum1]

Has anyone done it before? Will it be anon and they won't tell the man that I'm inquiring about?

There are two parts to Claire's law, the right to ask and the right to know. Anyone has the right to ask, but depends ding on the circumstances they may or may not receive the information. The right to know is the when the police find out about a relationship and deem it important to let the partner know about previous offending history of domestic abuse.
There will be several stages, you make the request initially. Police will then see you and ask for ID and find out your reasons behind the request. They will explain how it works and that if you are told any information you will have to sign a non disclosure as you cannot tell ANYONE if you are given information.
It then goes off to a monthly (fortnightly) meeting whereby your request is discussed and any information that is found out during the research before the meeting is discussed. An inspector or above rank then decides what information will be released to you. If they decide to release information you will then be called back in for another meeting or they will come to you.

I feel sorry for him now that I'm ignoring him! This is my problem I always feel sorry for people

Please don't fall into the feeling sorry from them trap. Most abusers will play the victim which is how they entrap us empaths in the first place.

Remember, you dont owe anyone in this world anything. People have to earn the right to be in your life and this guy certainly hasn't. It was a shirt relationship and dating is about finding the right match, not committing yourself to every man who shows an interest in you.

Keep reminding yourself that you are breaking old patterns of behaviour and it may be uncomfortable to not people please at first but it needs to be done to protect yourself from future abuse.

I've felt sorry at some point for all my abusers. It's a dangerous trap!

I know I shouldn't! I'm just a massive people pleaser but like you say I'm breaking old habits.
I'm a bit worried as I said sorry I don't think it's working and he isn't really listening. Sent me 2 massive messages saying he feels misunderstood and maybe I can give him longer to prove himself. I've just ignored hoping he will get the picture. We go to the same gym so hoping I don't bump into him