Clare's law

[Moofreemum1]

Has anyone done it before? Will it be anon and they won't tell the man that I'm inquiring about?

I'd be trusting your gut instinct here.

@Jacqattacq how likely are they to be a police officer with an on record background applicable to Claires Law?

Tbh I'd trust your gut too.

This is what I've heard about him to see if people think I'm over reacting. I heard he did steroids when competiting. Not sure if he still does them, he hasnt said. In conversations he also said to me that he did mixed martial arts and weren't nervous for his fights but just wanted to rip the guys head off, I thought that was a bit aggressive. He also said he knew alot of people who had been in prison didn't say why. I also saw an old video when looking through his fb and he said in it his stupid gf forgot to record the 1st time which I didn't like him trying to make her look silly. Like I said though am I being overly sensitive. All other things about him are great

Just received a call from the police to arrange an appointment for them to come round and check my identity. He said on the phone could he come round today as he wanted to get it done asap. Do they know anything at this point? Or will they know when they check my identity. Just worried there is something and that's why he wants it to move really quick

It is good they are being so prompt.
I think you need to trust your gut

Hello OP I am a police officer working in a safeguarding unit and I have dealt with these.

The officer you spoke to will already have accessed their local Intel on him and might be able to see something which has already concerned him. But he might just be trying to finalise it quickly as he has a 'free day' (har har har) and wants to keep his workload clear (chortle).

Once he's seen you face to face, he'll submit your application which goes to a separate unit where they assess local Intel and nationwide info (PNC and intelligence) and the detective inspector will assess your boyfriend's information and see whether there is anything necessary to disclose.

I personally don't think steroid use/MMA fighting would be big enough to disclose.
We would focus on violence, past domestic accusations, and allegations (even unproven) of sexual violence.

Hope that helps. In my opinion he sounds like a knob and I'd bin him off Clare's Law or none.
Good luck.

Thank you @don'tbuyanewmumcashmere
He seemed like he wanted to see me today when I said I couldn't he said not even for 10 mins today. So I'm feeling concerned. I'm suppose to see this guy tonight, not sure if I should put it off

How much do you like him and how bad is your gut instinct about him?

Personally if anyone I was interested in was keen on fighting and drug use that'd be it.

The feel wretched when we tell women their partners are sexual or domestic abusers and they say Oh I know, it was a malicious allegation or he's changed...
So if he wants to see you and he tells you something, please listen.

I do like him and from the steroids thing and the I just wanted to rip his head off comment it does worry me. I don't know if it's being in a refuge before (my ex was non violent, was mental and emotional abuse) being around women and these stories on mumsnet I'm being over cautious or they are nothing.

If anything was to show up from Clare's law I wouldn't make excuses he would 100% be cut out of my life. Thankfully he doesn't know where I live yet so that's not a concern

I think you've got enough of a basis to get rid tbh OP. Steroids? Fighting? prison? Rip heads off?

God.

You've been seeing him for one month. You've heard worrying things about him in that time. So, what are his good points which are making you consider staying with him?

OP....get out now. A trauma bond is forming. Past allegations of stalking combined with steroid use - this has the potential to be very bad.

There were no stalking allegations??

We do get on very well and have a lot in common. Although these parts did raise some concern with me

Apologies OP. I just have read that in a PP.

Again, go with your instinct on this. Something has propelled you to act. Trust that.

Just = must

How many times have you seen in him the month you've been together?

*seen him in....

@Notmyrealname I have known two police officers who beat their wives and emotionally abused them. They seemed to have no trouble hanging onto their jobs.

I would have thought it's quite prevalent in the police

The person who attacked me is a senior solicitor. He too despite the worse behaviour, violence, alcoholism and blatant lying, seems to be hoding onto his job. At least it's on his record now, but sadly it seems easier to believe (despite how difficult it was for me to do it) that I'm a lying bitter cow. Strangely he has a lot of lying bitter exes.

We have been dating for a month and it's come to light some details about him that I'm unsure of.

Just end it. A month in and you already have substantial doubts. Don't waste your time.

I complete the applications for Claire law and deliver the results. If your applying for yourself yes you will have to give your details, if you apply because your concerned for a family member / friend you can remain anon. The male (assuming it is a male) will not know anything about it,

Thanks @parkermumma07 I've completed my application and received a call they wanted to see me today to confirm my identity and get the thing going. Which concerns me as a PP said they will have already looked of his file so don't know if there's am urgency or they just want to get it closed quick because there's nothing

They normally want to speak to you and establish why you want the information.

Most people are legitimate but you do get the odd person asking for non legitimate reasons! Like trying to get at an ex partner etc x

After tonight I am 100% not seeing him any more. Sirens were going off in my mind