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Original poster

Struggling to forgive

11 replies

Fifedad78 · 04/07/2019 00:48

Hi all, really struggling with my own thoughts here, briefly split up with my partner, she wanted nothing more to do with me, I was really hurt and did all I could to convince her otherwise. After a couple of months she changed her mind, however, I have since found out (via friends) that she was seeing another guy while we were apart and had fallen for him but found out he had a partner and was messing her about, so she split and came back to me, I just can’t shrug this feeling of being second best to her now and can’t get over the fact she was with another guy in the short time we were apart........help please, I’m feeling used......

OP posts:
RamblingEm · 04/07/2019 00:53

when did she meet him?

Original poster
Fifedad78 · 04/07/2019 01:00

He was a work colleague, they had known each other for a while

OP posts:
PaterPower · 04/07/2019 07:54

So the original split was her idea? And she was seeing another guy immediately after?

Mate, you’re better than this / her. If you stay with her you’re going to end up a paranoid wreck, always looking over your shoulder at what she’s doing and second guessing whether she really wants to be with you.

That behaviour, in itself, is going to be deeply off-putting to her, which will likely make it a self-fulfilling prophecy. IMO, you’ll be much better off letting this relationship go peacefully now, rather than in a shouting match in 3 months’ time.

Original poster
Fifedad78 · 04/07/2019 08:08

That’s my fear, I cannot really trust her anymore

OP posts:
Justbreathing · 04/07/2019 08:20

Doesn’t sound positive really.

pinkyredrose · 04/07/2019 08:21

Why did she break up with you? How did you treat her in the relationship?

Original poster
Fifedad78 · 04/07/2019 08:59

We broke up because a toxic friend couldn’t stand seeing her happy and talked her in to splitting, she said she regrets the split but I still feel i’m the next best option for her

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 04/07/2019 09:02

Her friend made her split up with you? Hmm

How did you treat her, were you kind and respectful?

AnyFucker · 04/07/2019 09:09

She split with you to give it a go with Mr Lover Boy

Now that has gone sour she is back with Mr Safe Bet

Is that how you see yourself ?

Original poster
Fifedad78 · 04/07/2019 09:37

That is exactly how I feel and can’t shake it

Pinky, I was kind and respectful, I wouldn’t treat anyone any other way unless I was mid-treated

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 04/07/2019 17:41

Of course you can't shake it because it is staring you right in the face

Don't short change yourself. Nobody deserves to be relegated to second place

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