Dinner Party hell

[dinnerpartyhell]

Please tell me what I am doing wrong.

It is customary where we live for friends to have lots of dinner parties, these range from silver service formal dinners all the way through to a relaxed buffet style supper.

I absolutely detest them, I hate hosting them with the two days of cleaning, cooking and preparing. The nerves that it will all go wrong (I am no Nigella) the endless inane conversations with people I barely know or care about. I try to talk to more interesting people, but after a few hours I have had enough even with the most sparkling character.

I don't even like going to other people's houses where it is the same in reverse. I like seeing my closer friends, but this all adds a layer stress/formality that is not normally present when we see each other day to day.

Please tell me why you enjoy them? (if you do) and what I can do to enjoy them more. I would have no friends if I opted out, as everyone has them. I wish I could enjoy them more, but I really don't. I dread them now, and it has got worse as time has gone on, not better. Everyone seems to go out every single weekend, and we are knackered from working long hours and caring for dc. How do you have energy to do this? After another weekend, I am exhausted today and really ready to throw in the towel and move to a desert island.

No self respecting housekeeper would agree to dish up at a dinner party. If one could not afford to retain appropriate staff, I suspect at a pinch and as a huge personal favour one's housekeeper might agree to supervise such staff as one could procure from an agency.
But if one is reduced to procuring agency staff then one may as well use the stainless steel tableware frankly.

puppy Biting? Cold or biting food?

You've got the wrong friends! I've never had a drunk husband retch on my towels!

Seriously, you are inviting the wrong people, people you aren't interested in, whose values you don't share and whose behaviour you don't like.

Find some new friends and do different things.

Do any of the existing people appeal to you at all? Just do an activity with them instead.

tarrogan you don't actually know that do you? It may be their housekeeper is very willing to help out at dinner parties for extra money. How could you know what their private arrangements are? Our cleaner sews, babysits, cleans the house, runs errands and has been known to help run children's parties and christmas parties. Just because your housekeeper is unwilling, it does not they all are the same.

Roll on 15 August.

@barefootluxury just guessing but I think Tarragon’s post was rather tongue in cheek

Which reminds me..random pointless memory - I did a silver service course in Bondi Beach area of Sydney in the 80s - learnt how to dish up walnuts from a silver platter 😂

No self respecting housekeeper would agree to dish up at a dinner party.
So what would a ‘self respecting’ housekeeper be prepared to do?
Those people who do have a housekeeper expect her/him to help out with whatever needs doing.

Adoring this thread. It's reminding me of the dinner parties my parents gave in the 1970s. Ladies in long skirts, Chanel No5 and the smell of cigars. Just bake a Camembert, buy olives, anchovies etc from M&S to nibble and then make a huge Paella. Your friends should know where the fridge is by now so delegate drinks duty to someone else. Huge platter with cheese, bought brownies and fruit for pudding.

Perhaps if you relax a little OP your friends will too. They sound ghastly by the way so not a great loss if it doesn't work out

OP you’re so funny, I love this thread. You’re hilarious and some posters are coming across as quite stressed that you won’t just do as they tell you and tell them all to go fuck themselves 🤣

FWIW I got at Stuck in kitchen sup hell in the mid 2000s and know exactly what you mean lol

What is happening on the 15th of August?? Are you coming as well refresh??

I am so stressed that someone I know will read this thread, and hang me out to dry!!!! Or worse actually never speak to me again that I may need a name change or two

So many supportive messages really feeling my anguish, we need a support group ladies. I expected to a severe grilling on here at best, or a few ideas apart from getting appallingly drunk every single time (I am doing a good job of that already)

Looking at the photos and videos of how to use a Raclette, I can already feel a rash forming.

Housekeepers that help out in the evenings are rare as hens teeth, but they do exist. They are usually over seventy though with compromised eye sight and chin whiskers.

You’d have been able to stay anonymous if you hadn’t mentioned the lace-edged hand towels!

pass you could have a point there, I wish I was the laid back, effortless tawny hostess just whipping out perfectly cooked offerings, I sadly have friends like this.The truth is I am rigid as hell with a hunch and a scowl most nights, muttering and swearing under my breath as another starter bites the dust. Covered in layer of dewy sweat and a fixed smile that could crack glass.

Not The lace towels will be my undoing. Least of all because I told several of my friends about it, trying to shame them into making sure their bloody husbands use the lavatory next time!

When the doorbell used to go I wanted to open it and scream JUST FUCK OFF at the poor unsuspecting guests. Instead I’d Chanel nigella and then get pissed

pass oh you have nailed that feeling in words. I shall go out with a bang one day with just that wording!

I have been to dinners at friends who opened the front door without a word, their eyes expressed the peculiar mixture of utter misery and blazing anger, we shuffled through as she dished out the glasses, poured the wine without care and stalked off without a word. One dh piped up cheerfully that he could smell hair or skin burning.

I think you're mad OP!
Why are you spending time and money on people that you don't really like?
Just stop!
This all sounds very old fashioned and reminds me of Margot Ledbetter in The Good Life.

TarragonSauce

No self respecting housekeeper would agree to dish up at a dinner party. If one could not afford to retain appropriate staff, I suspect at a pinch and as a huge personal favour one's housekeeper might agree to supervise such staff as one could procure from an agency.
But if one is reduced to procuring agency staff then one may as well use the stainless steel tableware frankly.

It's sentences like this that keep me on MN

Why are you spending time and money on people that you don't really like? That's cos she's not really..

I’d love to know who is paying if we aren’t round I am not actually charging my friends to come for dinner although it is an idea that could have legs if I wanted to get the numbers down.

You’re pretty feisty on this thread OP

And yet in real life it would seem you are something of a limp lettuce leaf!

Feisty. Now there is a description of me I have never heard before. Battle axe yes. Social wallflower check. Gloriously average, absolutely.
Feisty sounds rather exciting. I shall make an effort not to let you down. What part did you find especially feistyish? Just so I know.

Jeez. I couldn't cope with it at all!

We generally gather with assorted alcohol. Everyone brings some crappy snacks.
The dining table is used for a game of 'poo pong'. Ping pong, but with toilet rolls as the net.
Everyone gets a bit silly. Someone falls over in the garden. Anyone who is sober laughs along, and tries to remove anyone remaining at 5am.
Mid to late forties here. Nobody bring children, obviously.

We go out for sensible dinners, but nights in are never sensible.

@TarragonSauce proper chuckled at that. Love that some are still taking this seriously!

Feisty. Now there is a description of me I have never heard before. Battle axe yes. Social wallflower check. Gloriously average, absolutely.
Feisty sounds rather exciting. I shall make an effort not to let you down. What part did you find especially feistyish? Just so I know.

Fiesty!

But then read your OP....
Timid, following the crowd, doing something you dread.

I think you are my mother, reminiscing about her life in the early 70s 😂
This is hilarious, well done!!