Guy I'm seeing going off me?

[sallpink]

I'm probably being paranoid but today he hasn't really spoken much to me.
Yesterday we spoke a lot and it just was fun conversation etc
He text me this morning saying he didn't feel well,I replied and he text back 3 hours later saying he had to phone in sick as he was vomiting and felt awful.
Since then we've only exchanged a few texts.
I text him about a hour ago saying I was shattered and couldn't wait for bed.
He replied saying he had been in bed most of the day,then nothing else.
No asking about my day etc
Do you think I should ask what's going on?
Or maybe just cos he is sick and can't be bothered to talk?
But he has been on Facebook.

Jesus is this a joke? The poor guy is ill, leave him alone.

He phoned in work sick, told you he had been vomiting and you are worried he has go e off you because he hasn't sent shit loads of messages.

You are checking his activity on social media to see when he's been active.

Wow. You seriously need to chill dude!

Let the poor fella recover!!

The poor bloke is unwell, you can't blame him for being on the phone all the time. In his place, I'd turn my phone off so as not to be disturbed.

No reason to think he's gone off you. Please try to be less obviously needy, that can be off putting.

I expect he'll be alright soon and then you can resume the relationship.

So he's texted you like five times today already and this is...less than normal?

Gads I couldn't be with someone who needed to be in contact every single day let alone this constant texting crap. And he is ill too. Maybe he's just sick to death of having to glue his phone to his hip for you.

He's puking FGS.

I know I'm being ridiculous
I just keep thinking if he is on WhatsApp he's chatting to someone
Yet can't be bothered to message me.
I need to stop the checking I know

Some could have messaged him from work. Asking if he is ok or a question.

Or his mum or someone.

You said he hasnt been on it a lot. He could have read the message that someone has sent and not even replied.

PS: I meant NOT on the phone all the time in my above post.

Something weird here, three times today there have been mistakes in my posts and I do check before sending them. Ah well.

If a guy kept checking my whatsapp status, and was all weird about me not thinking about him while I was ill, I'd be dumping them. Sorry, but you sound like a creep.

Do you have things to do? I would be doing them instead of this nonsense. Work? Hobbies? Friends?

It's really not normal to be constantly in contact day and night.

@CatherineOfAragonsPrayerBook

This is very sound advice...... Sounds like your last relationship really did a number on you.

I would maybe arrange to do something to occupy your time, go and see a friend, grab a film somewhere, meet up for lunch/dinner.

Space and time apart is good x

Are you such hard work generally? Leave him alone and don’t drive him away with your neediness

He might very well be chatting to someone else. But that doesn't mean he isn't interested in you any more. It just means that you aren't the focus of every moment. That's okay, right? He is allowed to have other interests and friends? Give this guy some space.

Do you think I should text him tonight and ask how he is?
Or shall I wait till in the morning?
Cos he clearly doesn't want to talk to me or he would be.

Leave it till tomorrow. And then keep it nice and breezy and basic.

This is what technology has done to us. Leave him alone. He’s ill stop checking up on him.
I would hate this if I was ill and someone kept all on at me.

Send him a message in the morning asking if he slept okay and if he is feeling better.

Il wait till the morning.
It just makes me sad that he can go hours without any communication with me.
Probably overthinking too much

Bloody hell. Almost everyone says leave him be and you were back asking if you should text him tonight!?

You really need to work on the feeling sad if you haven't heard from him in a few hours. It is your issue, not his. Give him space to live his own life.

Morning definately. Then make sure you sound appropriately focused on how his night was and how he is feeling. Do not mention yourself. Definately for the love of god do not ask who he was Whatsupping. As pp said, be light and breezy.

If he says "feeling bit better but still don't feel up to hooking up", DON'T PANIC. Just say "No probs. Let me know when you feel up to things again or if I can help, I'll call you later" Then leave it till LATER as in early evening. DO NOT allow yourself to obsess and check Whatsup or Facebook or any SM. Fix a date with friends.

In fact in future, practice being ocassionally unavailable yourself.

This may feel really uncomfortable or difficult at first, but the more you practise not trying to control things ironically the more confident and in control you will feel.

It just makes me sad that he can go hours without any communication with me

I think you might not be ready to be in a relationship if you can't be alone for a few hours.

It sounds harsh but no one should be able to influence your mood to such a degree. You need to be able to fill yourself up.

How old are you?

It just makes me sad that he can go hours without any communication with me

Jesus Christ, the guy is probably hugging a toilet bowl somewhere and yet you're still all woe is me! He's ill, what don't you get? If he's sick enough not to go into work when you say it's abnormal it's very likely he's ill enough that he doesn't fancy talking to anyone...it's not personal, he's just sick!

As others have said you really need to work on yourself, this level of obsession really isn't healthy and will without doubt wreck any relationship if you can't get it in check.

Your issues with trust and communication are your own, OP. It's understandable that your previous relationship left you feeling this way, but needing to hear from your bf every couple of hours is not healthy or realistic. Look at the language you're using - he can't be bothered to message you, he clearly doesn't want to talk to you, he can go hours without any communication with you. Do you believe that he should be desperate to talk to you at all times, otherwise he must be going off you? There must be a rational part of you that realises this is nonsense.

He is ill. He stayed off work and appears to have spent the day in bed feeling crap. The mental energy you need in order to mess about on Facebook is pretty minimal compared with what you need to communicate meaningfully with an anxious, needy person who seems to require constant validation and reassurance. Have you considered that he just isn't up to the task of doing that when he feels ill?

You could end up with a self-fulfilling prophecy here. You pester him for attention when he needs time to himself because you're scared he's going off you... and he goes off you because you're too much like hard work.

I am going to disagree with some of the posters here. I think you need to listen to your gut. Yes he might be unwell but I think you know deep down maybe he's not that interested.