My partner acuses me of lying all the time

[DebbieSWFC]

Right I need some thoughts from people who don’t know me. I left my husband 2 1/2 years ago and at the time was friends with my current partner who helped me through my mum dying of cancer because husband was useless.
Now I cannot be anywhere near my ex (even though it is only to do with my son) without my partner acusing me of going back to him. Unfortunately I have kept things from him in the past because he goes mad. He is constantly wanting to kick his head in. I just want a quiet life and don’t want my son to see his dad hurt because no matter how bad he was as a husband he is still his dad.
Sorry for the long post but I don’t know if it is me being too soft

You made a mistake with this new guy. He's not good for you. I would dump him and re-evaluate your life.

We’re you cheating on your ex husband while with him with your current partner ? Or having an emotional affair ? And hiding that from your ex husband ?

He is abusive and trying to control you.

I wasn’t having an affair I classed him as one of my twitter friends. He was a shoulder to cry on when my mum was dying

Hmm, sounds like you were having a bit of an emotional affair if you were crying on his shoulder so perhaps he's concerned because he thinks you weren't 'faithful' first time around?

he is controlling. how long have you been together. if you don't live with him it should be easier to leave. a normal partner would trust you.

I was very depressed and close to a breakdown and didn’t want any affair he was just another friend like my best mates. I was faithful and was always going to leave my husband it was just mum was the last straw

Were you hiding from your then husband the fact that this guy was your shoulder to cry on?

Does your now partner have form for contorllling your social interactions in any other way or is it just with your ex ?

Get rid, he’s an arse.

Your partner is a controlling prick and he’s going to do his best to create division between you and the father of your child. Ultimately, it will be your child that suffer the most. For your good and the good of your child, get away from that abusive fuck, before things escalate.

You know what Ginger1982, even if she had been, that doesn’t change the fact that she’s now being emotionally abused.

This is not right OP, especially if it means that your son sees his Dad less often than he otherwise would. Even if it doesn't, your son is picking up negative things about his Dad which isn't fair on him and their relationship.

I'm sorry but you are not helping by hiding things from him. Are you afraid of what your current partner would do if you were honest about things?

We have been together about a year and a half and live together. I am always on edge when my son is around because he says he is just like his dad, when I don’t punish him as he sees fit he says I am weak and am scared to discipline him 😢

@S1naidSucks I'm not saying it does.

DebbieSWFC, oh dear Gaia, please get away from this man before he hurts your child. You know it’s heading that way. Don’t waste any more of your life with him and don’t force your child to be in a house with a man that’s itching to harm him. That’s not fair.

I didn’t really talk to my husband about it all. I would be at work then hospital and then bed. He doesn’t stop me going out although I dont very much by when I went out at Christmas on a work do he went mad because I was home an hour later than I said. He said it was because I was with someone else but I just lost track of time.

Yes because he threatens to go and find my ex and beat him up. I am a very peaceful person who hates any violence but he doesn’t understand that

I would say that sounds like coercive control which is abuse.

It might be worth you speaking to a professional at Women's Aid tiger objective advice but my personal advice would be to step away from this relationship. Hearing what you say about his reaction to your son is extremely worrying.

oh dear Gaia, please get away from this man before he hurts your child. You know it’s heading that way

Huh? Where does she say that?

If you were less than honest before, then could that be why he doesn't trust you?

Yes because he threatens to go and find my ex and beat him up

Ok that’s out of order. Get rid.

I don’t think he would physically punish him but is very strict

Did he have any episodes of violence in the past with anyone ?

I think he is right to feel insecure because to be honest you aren’t very trustworthy based on how you behaved in your previous marriage.

But I think he should know his boundaries and not use e threats of violence.. and the relationship seemed to have reached a toxic level of mistrust and it’s only going downhill from here.

So best to leave each other.

He wants to be violent to your ex. He doesn't like your child. If you're late home he accuses you of being with another man. And you are with him because?

@IABUQueen I was made to feel worthless by my husband for years as if I was just there to clean and earn money for him to buy cars and bigger houses. My self esteem was on the floor my mum was dying, maybe I didn’t make the right decisions about who I talked to but I wasn’t in my right mind.
I understand what you mean and if my partner can’t trust me then things will not get better. I do thank you for your time to reply on this