How do I sort this?

[PsGal]

Been with my man over 6 months. Spend as much time together as we can, work and kids permitting. I wasn't seeing him last night but we texted throughout the day and had a phone call at lunch. He knew I was having a busy day/evening.

I go to family with my DD for dinner on a Monday and once she was in bed I was having a family member over to help with some bookkeeping. This took me up til about 9pm. Went up to get washed and changed from work clothes and text him to let him know I will call him soon once I've got myself a drink and something to eat. 12 minutes later he's calling me. He started swearing down the phone and telling me he's annoyed because I haven't made him a priority. He's annoyed that while I was eating and I was scrolling through fb and not on the phone to him so I just hung up. Pretty lost for words.

Fast forward to now and we are still disagreeing about it over text. I feel like he's out of order for speaking to me like that. Felt like I couldn't have 10 minutes to myself before I called him ready to chill for the evening.

How do I/we move forward?

Background is that he has trust issues carried on from previous relationship and he is accessing support for this, however it's debatable how helpful it actually is.

Move forward by running away from this control freak!

Ugh just dump him
He sounds like a clingy nuisance

You move forward by dumping him. You've found out early that he's not the right man for you. Don't put up with this sort of thing.

How do I/we move forward?

Delete "we" for a starter.

Six months in it really really should not be this hard.

You have incompatible expectations when it comes to relationships - end it for both your sakes as this will only get worse.

He sounds horrendous.

For that reason, I’d be done

Bloody hell. That was a scary escalation. He needs to get more help and you need to, imo, step away from him.

Wow, that's some level of needy.

Run, seriously. Red flags are flapping loudly.

Sounds awful OP. Run for the hills.

Oh god no OP, big red controlling arsehole flag here. Show him the bin before you get sucked in any deeper.

He sounds crazy. I certainly wouldnt behave like that and i doubt most guys would.

Why on earth are you thinking of moving forward rather than running the other way?

How do I/we move forward?

Just dump him. Controlling/abusive 6 months in?

See this has a great opportunity to run for the hills. Seriously.

Do not introduce him to your DD. Do no engage with him at all. Dump him. Then block. Immediately.

Just dump his sorry arse!
Why would you even contemplate staying with such a controlling bully.
Is this what you want your daughter to see and think is acceptable, normal?

Thank you for the comments so far. Wasn't exactly expecting to see that response! Is there really no advise about how to move forward?

He's now angry because I hung up on him. I gave him chances to put things right last night before I said I was going to sleep and he didn't. Now he's saying he's had a bad night and he can't go another day with things being like that. It's not the first time I've called him out on behaviour like this. He can't see in any way how it can be perceived as controlling or possessive.

99% of the time he's not like this at all and I couldn't wish for better.

Too much effort! Relationships are supposed to be enjoyable!

The advice (from EVERYONE) is to dump him.

You cannot win with someone like this. He will get worse and worse.

Your man is being totally unreasonable and it isn't likely to be a one off occurrence. Everyone needs a little time to themselves to unwind, etc, he probably does and just takes it for granted.

Speak to him plainly, explaining how you feel, and tell him you can't go on like that. He is childish and petulant, being angry and swearing, is it really worth your while continuing the relationship with someone so volatile, possessive and immature?

Write off the last six months but remember the good times and move on.

Doesn't matter how much of the time he's nice to you. Its like if there's a shit in a swimming pool, you still wouldn't swim

If it was a one off huff and he immediately realised what a dick he was being I'd suggest talking about boundaries and moving on. He hasn't. He is still insisting he is right and you are wrong, and that you are not allowed to put your own needs above his, ever. This does not bode well.

PsGal

A phrase you should remember here and now is the following:-
"The only acceptable level of abuse in a relationship is NONE".

I wonder what "support" he is accessing if he actually is telling you the truth re this here. Trust issues indeed; the man is a wolf in sheep's clothing and wants to keep you in a cage of his own paranoid making. I would think his ex left him because of what you are seeing from him now and in the weeks/months prior to his latest outburst.

re your comments in quote marks:-

"Thank you for the comments so far. Wasn't exactly expecting to see that response! Is there really no advise about how to move forward?"

I wonder why you were not expecting such a response (see comments below on too low boundaries in relationships).
There is no moving forward with such a person, he needs to be dumped now.

"He's now angry because I hung up on him. I gave him chances to put things right last night before I said I was going to sleep and he didn't. Now he's saying he's had a bad night and he can't go another day with things being like that. It's not the first time I've called him out on behaviour like this. He can't see in any way how it can be perceived as controlling or possessive"

More red flags re this man who likes to blame others and circumstances for his own problems rather than his own self. You've already called him out before on such behaviours and he did not listen then either.

"99% of the time he's not like this at all and I couldn't wish for better".

This thinking also makes me think your boundaries in relationships are too low and he has further lowered this by inveigling his way into your life this past 6 months. How did you arrive at such a figure in the first place?. You were targeted by this man and deliberately as well; some abusers like single mums because they think they are so desperate for a man/relationship that they would put up with anything.

What did you learn about relationships when you were growing up?

Do enrol yourself onto the Freedom Programme by Womens Aid.

Just to be clear, after 6 months dating he thinks he should be prioritised over:
Your business
Your family
Eating
Washing

Fuck that.

And why is it down to you anyway to sort this?. It is not your role and I am wondering why you potentially or at all feel responsible for him.

At 6 months in it shouldn't be like this, and it will only get worse

Just to be clear, after 6 months dating he thinks he should be prioritised over:
Your business
Your family
Eating
Washing

Fuck that.

Spot on! @ SouthernComforts

This abuse/control will escalate, OP. You should walk away.

@ AttilaTheMeerkat internalised misogyny. Women are expected to sort out relationship issues even when they are caused by the male.