1st day NC

[NoShitSherlockx]

I'm bloody proud of myself. First day yesterday NC. Today will be the same as I've blocked him on everything.

So many times I've been trying to do this and I think I've finally done it. I think I can finally move in with my life and learn to be happy!

What advise does anyone have to help stay NC? I'm trying to keep myself busy to keep my mind off of it!

I’ll join you at day 8

No advice just solidarity 🙂

clementinesalad why day 8? Are you on day 8?

Thank you! I think it'll just be breaking the routine of usually seeing that person. The weekdays are fine as I have a busy job and rarely get time to think about things, it's the weekends I can imagine will be hard.

Be prepared for the rollercoaster of emotions over time. It's normal.

Meditation really helped me, because it helped me see that just because I think of a thing, it doesn't mean it's important. Often our thoughts are just habits.

Proud of you

Well done! Maybe have something you do to distract yourself whenever you’re tempted to unblock or anything. I used to say to myself you can do it but do this first and then by the time I’d done the distraction activity I wouldn’t want to any more.

For me the urge to look on my phone was the worst. I turned my phone off and left it upstairs and made sure I was always busy. I think I painted my nails about 30 times and walked the legs off the dogs. You'll get through it I promise but the first two weeks are the hardest overall and then you realise you're not thinking about them as much. Allow yourself to cry and get angry it's okay. I moved everything relating to 'us' out of the way (still haven't chucked them out but everything is in a cupboard so I can't see photos or anything). I also downloaded and exported his texts and saved on email and then deleted it off my phone so there was no way of viewing all of the lies/declarations of love even when he was blocked. I took myself of FB too for a little bit.

Good luck, you can do it. You've made the decision to go NC which is a massive step. You're stronger than this xxx

ChristmasFluff did you meditate before? What sort did you start doing? Yeah, breaking the habits will be the hardest thing.

Thanks user, there is obviously urge to unblock and message him and go straight back to how it was because it's easy, but it won't be good for my mental health and I won't be happy in the long run. That's all I keep thinking of when I want to unblock him and talk to him.

beep hahaha the dog must have loved it! It's just the spare 5 minutes when you think 'what would they be doing now' or 'I wonder what we'd be doing together tonight'! Luckily he is blocked on everything, it was a heated argument so no doubt he's blocked me too... haha! I just know he'll have his weekend blow out and then try and come running back when he's lonely on Sunday, but this time I'm not giving in!

Thank you all so much xx

Best thing ? A support network like this .

Sorry - yes I’m nc too and it’s day 8.

I’ve been through it before and failed but this time I’ve blocked him and it feels better than the last time already

penguin I've seen some threads and the amount of support people give is amazing!

clementine - 8 days is great. Is that the longest you've gone not talking? I struggled last night, kept myself busy but I'm worrying about tonight as well. I think it's just the unknown? I still haven't got the urge to talk to him, which before I would have. It's so strange, like my whole thought process has changed!

2 months on the 17th, but I’m tearful quite often...

inexperiencedchick wow two months is amazing! How have you managed? I think sometimes it's good to cry, it gets out a lot of emotion! I just haven't been able to cry yet? Maybe it hasn't hit me or maybe I was over it whilst we were still together, as this happened quite a lot! You're doing amazing!

This is all very inspirational as someone who is looking to go NC....

Hi @NoShitSherlockx,

No I began meditation as something to fill the NoContact void. It was a revelation though. Here I am, communing with Oneness - and then I'm worrying about how cows digest grass, or what I'm doing for dinner, or did my mate think the same as me about so-and-so on Love Island.

But obviously, I gave no importance to those thoughts. So when we think of the person/people we are NC with, well, it's just like thoughts of how many angels fit on the eye of a needle. Maybe interesting. But pointless and of no relevance

I may have a look at meditation. Just to keep my mind off of things.

I've just had some really awful family news so I'm struggling badly now! Why do things like this always happen when you're most vulnerable!

Hi OP
It’s difficult... for the first 2 weeks I was actually okay. It hit me afterwords. I go for a run if it’s really tough. Although it was my idea to stop everything, as we started to resent each other. It had to stop before we started hating each other.
Looking back I can see for the past 3 months we weren’t laughing, it was dead between us.

Good luck OP
You can do it! 🌹

20 weeks for me tomorrow! If I can do it anyone can!

I really need to do this, my husband left last week and the urge to contact him is overwhelming at times. Every day I say I’m not going to but every day I find something I need to text him about just to have some sort of contact. Going to try my very best today because I know it’s doing me no favours.

The stuff online says 28 days should be the minimum.

Previous experience has told me that around day 14 is usually the hardest so that’ll be me in a few days

holli it’s hard but you’ll feel better if you don’t reach out

Failed already and before 6.30 too. To be fair it was in response to a message from him asking about the kids. My answer should have been short and sweet but it was long, rambling and emotional.
The kids are all teens/young adults so can sort out contact between themselves. I’ve also written a very factual email discussing finances which I will send tomorrow.
So although I cannot go completely no contact as a lot of you are I need to do as little as possible for my sanity and to stop me begging him to come back.

Have you read about grey rocking Holli? That's what you should do if you can't do complete NC

Dramatic fail today, I ended up sending loads of rants, mainly about money. He can’t afford to give me any maintenance as he needs to find somewhere else to live. He’s also got the paperwork I need to apply for universal credit. I ended up ringing him in tears and he said I reminded him why he left me in the first place.
Onwards and upwards I guess. Today just proved communication doesn’t work so No contact it is

I've been struggling. Today is definitely the hardest and it hasn't even been a week. I feel like bursting into tears. He found a way to message me Sunday asking for me back and if we could meet. I resisted the urge to text back but it's made me feel really shitty.

It's always the way though, he usually texts on a Sunday once he's had his weekend to do whatever he wants, as it seems like I'm only good enough in the week when no one else is around.

Doesn't make it any easier though 😣 I was doing so well before I heard from him!