Not told anyone about me

[onetiredmum]

OK. Here I am again.... Eugh!

OK so I've been seeing a nice guy for about 6/7 weeks. And last weekend we were supposed to be spending the weekend together. We spend Friday night together and it's all lovely but he changes his mind and makes plans with his friends instead... Im not invited.

I don't have my children so thought it would be a good weekend for us to 'get aquainted'

Anyway he says he will come round Sunday night instead when my kids are there... Then never turns up!

I ask... 'have you told your friends and family about me at all?'..... No is his answer.

So I message him yesterday asking how he felt about me and I just wanted to know where I stand. He asks to call me later...

I get a message saying he'll call me after his tea and shower..... I then don't hear fr him until this morning saying he's sorry he fell asleep?!

When I say look I'm done.... He tells me he is interested but he's scared of commitment?!

Wtf do I do? I'm a 40yo woman and thought I knew how to deal with this. Any help from anyone would be so good right now x

He’s not that into you.

He didn’t fall asleep, he’s starting to ghost you. You’re a single mother and he’s not interested.

Please don’t contact him again.

If he was interested, he would see you - he wouldn’t cancel plans - he would make plans and follow through.

Went out with his mates when you'd planned to spend the weekend together??

Bin him off for that alone.

Why are you asking him what he wants? What do YOU want.

You definitely need to dump him he's a user and a liar.
Don't waste time on men like this and raise the bar....
Don't settle for being treated like crap OP you deserve a lot better!

Sorry but I have to agree with @Meccacos. I think I'd just say cheerio and move on. Don't waste your time with someone who can't even be bothered to ring when they say they will or doesn't want you to meet their friends.

6/7 weeks is very early days. He wants to be sure the relationship is a long term one before introducing you to people and I think that is right. Don't be too eager and pushy, there's no commitment at this stage, however you may feel.

Stop worrying .

No.

When a man wants you, he lets you know it. If only I had believed this earlier.

He doesn’t want you. Move on.

He passes up a child-free weekend in a new relationship to hang out with his friends? Seriously, find someone who can't wait to see you.

At this point I think you could have still been in the early dating stage. Ie going out and then going home separately. Things may have moved a bit too quickly for him.

Sorry but it sounds like he's just not that into you and is messing you around.

He sounds very flakey anyway.

Time to move on.

Move on and do not contact him again.

I can understand the not meeting anyone as its very early days, but his changing of plans and cancelling on you when you had planned the weekend together, fuck that shit.

You are not an 'option'

That is a horrible way to treat you. If you take this lying down and carry on seeing you then he'll feel he has carte blanche to do whatever he wants.

Bin him off now.

He sounds like one of those men who think single mums are desperate and will put up with any old crap just to have a man.

Trust me. He is messing you around and you are secondary to his thoughts.

Dump and never look back. Save yourself what will become a stressful and frustrating situation.

It's only been six weeks. Just say it's not working and move on personally. It looks like he's got bored of you but doesn't want to say it.

6 weeks does sound soon to be staying over with kids/meeting friends/making official but to me it sounds like he may not even have told his wife about you...

Have you been to his?

Sounds like he has others and he's trying to juggle you. I've had this done to me.

Another red flag if he's not even mentioned you to anyone, even if it's 6 weeks he might mention to his mates he's dating you.

He's wasted your free weekend; no respect for you or your time. You deserve better.

Anyone saying you should relax....jesus! So let a guy take the piss! He's clearly showing you you're not his priority, he won't change. He's not looking for anything serious.

Yeah forget 'relax' . This is the honeymoon period. Hes flaking. Telling you hes afraid of commitment and stringing you along. It wont get better. Get him in the bin

He's just not that into you.

Also, stop inviting men you've only known for a few weeks to your house when your kids are there.

Don't put up with this shit from him. Just stop replying to him. Men like this think they can do what they want. After 6/7 weeks he should be dying to see you and want to spend as much time with you as possible,
Why are you letting him meet your kids so early too??

Not that into you, doesn't respect you, putting himself first, drop him BEFORE he drops you.

Don’t relax or be too eager to be the cool GF. length of time you have been dating is a red herring. If anything, so new into a relationship, he should be excited about spending a whole child-free weekend together. He is really out of order to drop you last moment for mates when he made an arrangement with you and it is unbelievably arrogant, rude and inconsiderate. Don’t wait around for scraps or be his back-up shag option. Re-claim your dignity, head hold high and take the initiative here, dump him, instead of letting him mess you around. If he behaving this shitty in what should be the 'honeymoon' phase, it won't get better and you will save yourself a lot of grief in the long run when you might become more invested.

Was that the first time on Friday?

He’s a dick.

Early in a relationship or getting to know each other the guy is usually very keen.

You deserve better than this.

Maybe he didn't manage to get away without his wife noticing?
I'd be very sceptical about this.
Next time it probably would be a good idea to leave it a bit longer before involving the kids, though.

He's not into you. Sorry, OP.