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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dealing with extreme jealousy

53 replies

OMGMyLifeIsCrazy · 06/06/2019 00:51

I am writing this post as somewhat of a warning to anyone who is dealing with extreme jealousy in their relationship.

Background:
My husband has been suffering with delusional jealousy for 2 years. He has had no proof that anything has ever happened behind his back because nothing has ever happened. Add to that the fact that I've barely left the house for the last couple of years (unless accompanied) and he still finds 'evidence' of my unfaithfulness. 5-10 mins alone in the house means that I have probably snuck my lover into the house via one of the back entries. An audio recording of the dog snoring on our bedroom deck is obviously the sounds of me having sex with my 'lover'. Visiting my parents and stopping for fuel on the way home means I have met my lover in the toilet behind the gas station. Plants in our garden dying means my lover has peed on them. The list of 'evidence' grows every week.

I am in the process of moving out - he won't move out because he believes I am the one being unfaithful. I am planning on taking our kids (11, 15) though not sure how this will go because he believes I am putting them at risk due to my 'lover' and the fact that I must have mental health issues as the only explanation for my 'affair'. He used to look at me with love - now I get looked at with shame, pity and distrust. My self esteem is at an all time low. I'm not myself anymore. Not being myself if more proof that I'm having an affair. Doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists (last one still in progress) have had no effect to date.

I love my husband but wish I'd left him a year ago before I crumbled. At least he still looked at me with love back then. I know I will be fine when and if I leave though it's going to break my heart. Even more so when he replaces me with another woman while I'm by myself too scared to get involved with anyone else.

I've been lucky. My husband is not violent but please ladies and gents (this can happen to either gender), if you find yourself in a no-win battle like this, leave sooner rather than later. You can't fix this yourself and the only way it might be fixed (or helped) is if the jealous partner accepts that they might be the one with the problem. Don't get dragged down with them, no matter how much you love them.

Happy to share my 'what helps and what doesn't help' thoughts if anyone out there is going through something similar. Two years has given me a wealth of experience.

OP posts:
Frownette · 06/06/2019 06:10

Oh dear, that sounds like severe paranoia. I clicked on this expecting a standard story about jealousy.

Does he get paranoid about other things? Best wishes with getting out shortly, as soon as you leave you'll have space to breath you'll start to heal. Do you have a good support network? Are they aware of what's going on?

Moralitym1n1 · 06/06/2019 08:05

Even more so when he replaces me with another woman while I'm by myself too scared to get involved with anyone else.

But it's virtually impossible that he won't act the same way toward any new partner (sooner or later) so it will break down (or she will be an increasing wreck for as long as it lasts).

He needs to get psychological help (or even physical if this is a personality change) .. even if he does get the psychological help; this sort of thing seems very difficult to solve.

V sorry this has happened to you and you've had to leave your marriage & split your family over this insane behaviour.

Moralitym1n1 · 06/06/2019 08:10

Also in time, don't let him prevent you from meeting a new partner. He had no right, he's already subjected you to this, and forced you into a position of breaking up your family unit. He doesn't get to.ruin the rest of your life too. You can make sure that he knows next to nothing about your life in future, have only the absolutely minimum contact necessary for child related stuff,band if he stalks etc. you'll have to get police involved/non mol etc.
It might be better that he doesn't even know where you live and that you exchange children at a neutral location. It's worth working out how to do things in case he could be vindictive, stalky, potentially dangerous etc.

OMGMyLifeIsCrazy · 06/06/2019 08:24

Yes, Frownette. Paranoia. To make matters worse, I have extremely high morals and I'm a bit of a prude so it is gut wrenching to have the person who knows you best believing such horrible things about you. Some of the things I've been accused of are disgusting. He is fully functioning on everything else - just has this problem with me.

Thanks for checking on me.
I have been meeting regularly with a counsellor and I have a sister who I confide in. Due to being mostly at home (including working from home) for the last couple of years, I don't have many friends I can discuss this with unfortunately. There are a few people I hope to lean on a little once I'm out but it's a bit tricky because we moved to a new town 5 years ago and most of the people I know are parents of our children's friends. My counsellor has suggested I attend a few groups she has running that deal with self esteem, break ups and domestic violence. I will probably attend some of these :)
Terrified of what the future holds whether I've moved out or stayed but I think I have my head on straight enough to do what needs to be done.

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 06/06/2019 08:25

Talk to a good solicitor about whether contact with the children would be a good thing for them. Ask Women's Aid for recommendations for a solicitor.

Talk to Women's Aid about protecting yourself from this man. While he is not violent now, apparently, he is a very high stalking and violence risk once you have left or once he realises you are really intending to leave.
He represents a potential threat to both you and the children. Look up 'family annihilator'.
Women's Aid number is 0808 2000 247
Call, leave your number and a message. They will call you back.

Please take seriously the idea that he could be a danger to you and your children.

How much do the children know about your H's severe mental illness, and does it manifest itself at all in his relationship with them? If they have noticed it or been targeted, they are going to need a lot of help and support.

Get your children to see a therapist so that they can talk about their experience of life with their father anyway.
The home where all of this has been going on is all they know of life.

mathanxiety · 06/06/2019 08:28

My counsellor has suggested I attend a few groups she has running that deal with self esteem, break ups and domestic violence. I will probably attend some of these

YYY.

Do this.

You need friends. You need not to feel so isolated. You need to say out loud what has been happening.

After you have been to a few meetings you can start talking to others outside the group circle if you discern a sympathetic ear.

Do not try to hide this.

Find support for your children too. This is very important.

Mummaofmytribe · 06/06/2019 08:28

Just want to wish you best of luck. You poor thing, he sounds like a nightmare. God knows why he's like that. I think the counselling and the support group are great ideas.
The sooner you're our of this toxic situation, the better Flowers

thegreatcrestednewt · 06/06/2019 08:34

He is fully functioning on everything else - just has this problem with me.

I find this hard to believe. Not disbelieving you, OP, but find it hard to believe that someone with this level of mental illnes can function normally at work and in other relationships. How is that possible?

Is it possible that he's not mentally ill but just very controlling? Did anything happen 2 years ago to trigger this?

You're doing the right thing. Take any help offered - go to support groups, keep going to counselling, tell people about what has been happening.

It's NOT your fault. It's his. You can'd change him.

How are your dc doing? They must have been affected by his behaviour too.

Margorystewartbaxter · 06/06/2019 10:07

Did you have a previous thread about this?

TeaForTheWin · 06/06/2019 10:13

Makes me wonder if he is paranoid or if he just pretends to be in order to break you down. Especially if he is normal with 'everything else'. Either way, congrats on getting free!
Ps: I know you say he isn't violent but clearly he is unhinged and you never know what an unhinged person might do so please be very careful when leaving. If I were you I wouldn't drag it out. I'd pick a day that he will be gone and move out all in that day in one clean sweep.

OMGMyLifeIsCrazy · 06/06/2019 23:18

TeaForTheWin, I wish it was what you are thinking. I've often thought the same but after all the research I've done, it is what it is. Delusional jealousy. I"m meeting with him and the psychiatrist early next week and I know this will be the diagnosis but I'm doubtful that he'll believe what they tell him - he is unable to contemplate that his thinking isn't right.

I will be careful when moving out. Thanks for everyone's concerns.

OP posts:
OMGMyLifeIsCrazy · 06/06/2019 23:19

TeaForTheWin - yes, I have posted here before.

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 07/06/2019 03:08

Please contact Women's Aid 0808 2000 247.

You are going to need support and legal advice wrt protection orders.

Also recommendations for therapy for your children.

Motherofspaniel · 07/06/2019 06:28

OP I have name changed for this.

So I was you. Except I stayed. He was obsessed that I was lying to him all the time.

Once he kicked off because he found a receipt for cigs on the floor in the hall. I told him I had no clue where it had come from. He said 'you bought them when you bought milk and coffee' I thought about it asked where receipt was got it and it wasnr for cigs. It was for petrol. I showed him and he cried. He was so sorry, told me he read it and he must be going mad because it definitely said cigs.

I would wake up to him going through my phone in the night, he linked my phone to my laptop so he could see where I was at all times. He parked outside work and saw 'me' leave. Chased me down the ring road, got up the side if the car and it wasnt me. It was a colleague with a very similar car.

He turned up at work and had to be escorted out.

We stopped having sex, a while before I ended it. He said it was proof I was having an affair. I told him I didnt want to have sex with someone who thought so little of me, I found his controlling attitude very un attractive and he made me feel scared and shit about myself.

He started counselling and seemed great. Then I noticed. He would mention what the counsellor had told him, what he told her. The counsellor generally put his mistrust of me down to something i had done in the past. I would then have to point out what he told her was complete bollocks. And he had left out all the stuff he had done that had pushed me away.

Then he started telling me he had learned that we needed to be completely open. The counsellor told him that was the only way. So he wanted to know everything, what time I got to work, who I spoke to, what about, every details of messages, wanted to look at my work laptop....basically I wasnt allowed any privacy. At all. He want to know everything that I spent, to the penny.

He didnt change. He just stopped accusing me of lying and having an affair. He pitched it as 'couples share everything and if you dont want to, the marriage wont survive'.

I clicked on quite soon that he had changed. Just changed his angle and made explains to leave. Unfortunately, before I had chance he went off the deep end. Attacked me and raped me. I had to flee with the kids. But couldnt immediately. I spent a few days in a daze. Then told my best friend, who he hated, and she was horrified and helped me plan.

I dropped them at school one morning, went for a coffee while he went to work, went in with my best friend and took everything important. Kids clothes, my clothes, kids computers, the dog (he told me if I left, I had to take the dog). Everything so we didnt have to go back.

I was lucky. My friend had room for us. Anything we didnt need every day went into storage. It was hard picking the kids up and telling them. When we had everything out I text him and told him we had gone.

I went to the police. Not enough evidence to prosecute, apparantly. He still got access to the kids. But as they are older now they opt to stay with me. When I handed the kids over he used to tell me he had seen me driving to this place or that. Turned out he was following me.

Anyway, 6 months after we split he met someone else and backed off. 12 weeks later he moved in with her and her kids.

I met someone else. Not to date, this man was just a friend for a year. The kids knew of him as he was part of the local sports team we went to watch. When the kids werent around he would spend time with me. He helped me move into our new home. My parents took the kids away so I could decorate and he helped.

Anyway 3 years later we are in a relationship. He knows the kids. But my house is mine and my kids, he lives 2 minutes away. My best friend lives 2 the either way. Exh split with his girlfriend and now lives alone. He did go through a period of following me, again. I clocked him once when I was with OH. I havent seen him since.

Life is bloody good. He doesnt pay for the kids, self employed so no point applying for it and I earn ok. I have a home. I have my kids and we are happy.

I know this is a long post. I wanted to share my story. I wanted to let you know you are right to go. You are right that people need to get out sooner or later.

And also exh did seem to maintain relationships with other people (though I have no idea why him and his girlfriend split up) but his obsession was definitely focused on me. He didnt think other people were lying to him. It was me. Like you I never cheated. I never even sent a flirty text. Every time he went through my phone he never found anything, even though I never deleted anything. But he was still obsessed.

I also wanted to let you know, its hard, but it's worth it. Flowers

Jersy · 07/06/2019 23:48

Do be careful OP. I don't want to alarm you, but just because he hasn't be violent up until now, doesn't mean he won't. In fact, on the actual point of breaking up/moving out and the period shortly after that is the most "dangerous". So please bear that in mind. I don't know if Womens Aid can offer you any advice or help. Try and make sure you are not alone with him at any time.

I hope it all goes well and congrats on getting free.

Jersy · 07/06/2019 23:49

p.s. reading your full original post, he really sounds completely unhinged. I hope you have somewhere safe to go.

BumbleBeee69 · 07/06/2019 23:55

Good luck OP you deserve do much better than what you are dealing with Flowers

OMGMyLifeIsCrazy · 10/06/2019 23:19

Update: DH went to psychiatrist - 2nd visit - yesterday and the dr asked him to bring me along. Shortly into the meeting, the dr asked DH how he has gone with the medication he was prescribed. I had no idea about this and DH replied with a very non-committed answer. I suspected he hadn't bothered filling the script because I think I would have seen if he was taking any new medication. Dr said to DH - There's only two possible scenarios. Either your wife is cheating and she's very clever or you are suffering from a mental illness. If I had to bet my house on it, I would say you have a serious mental illness. This should have made me relieved but when we got home, DH said that the Dr didn't diagnose anything because he said either scenario could be true.

Anyway, the good news is that he took one of the tablets last night and hoping he continues taking them. It will be interesting to see if it has any effect. DH now claims the problem isn't about whether I'm cheating or not - it's about me not believing that someone has been in our house. I went to bed very unnerved the other night after DH installed deadlocks to all external doors and put bars on every sliding door and window. Not sure if he was trying to keep anyone in or out but I think we have it covered now. 3 wireless cameras, 6 wired cameras, deadlocks, dogs, window bars.

I'll keep everyone updated. PS Still leaving asap

OP posts:
Kedgeree · 10/06/2019 23:30

Leave now. The locks are to keep you in, not keep others out. He's lost his mind, he needs professional care. You need to keep yourself safe. You can't manage this, it's too serious.

OMGMyLifeIsCrazy · 11/06/2019 00:45

Thanks Kedgeree. Unfortunately, leaving today isn't an option but I do hope to be out within a week or two. I've been living with this for two years and it's been extremely difficult but some days are worse than others. At the moment, the big issue is 'Why are a couple of garden plants dying?' Obviously, someone is coming into our yard and peeing on the plants. Can't argue with him at all - it's very difficult to just listen and let him believe what he does.

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 11/06/2019 04:11

You are the proverbial boiling frog, OMG.

What exactly is keeping you from having a definite date when you will leave? Hoping to be out within a week or two is bafflingly nebulous and lacking in any sense of urgency when it is so obvious that your H has gone far beyond reason and rationality and has taken specific drastic and comprehensive action arising purely from his mental illness.

He's lost his mind, he needs professional care. You need to keep yourself safe. You can't manage this, it's too serious.

Please pack a few bags, gather personal papers, and take your children and yourself to a motel.

Call Women's Aid 0808 2000 247.

You can't manage this.
You would be perfectly justified in calling the police and asking them to take your H for a psychiatric evaluation. The police will do this. It is part of their job.

OMGMyLifeIsCrazy · 11/06/2019 04:25

Thanks for your thoughts mathanxiety. The reason why I say a week or two is because he is fully functioning outside of this problem and I'm in the process of settling the sale of property I'm moving into (the property is far from my ideal but due to my work and rental availability, it was easier/quicker to do things the way I've done). The kids are fine - we are playing happy families when the kids are home and they are none the wiser about anything much being wrong. Sure - they've seen him insist that someone/all of us go out together whenever I've needed to go somewhere but they have asked their dad and he tells them it's because he worries about me. I had a head on collision last year and a broken foot earlier this year so the kids are happy with that explanation.

There is a sense of urgency about moving out but not because I'm scared of him - I know the statistics but I have had a quiet word to the drs, counsellors and psych and they all agree he is not likely to be one to turn violent. My biggest motivator for moving out is my own mental well being and making sure the kids aren't impacted by our problems.

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 11/06/2019 05:00

When you do move out, please get the kids into therapy.
It makes absolutely no sense that you should all go out together in the wake of your accident. What that means is that if there is an accident the chance of you all being wiped out increases 100%. Certainly a teenager of average intelligence would have pondered that.

And I am sure the children have noted all the barred windows and the security cameras. What do they make of it all? Have you spoken with them about this development?

They are 11 and 15. Please get out of denial about how all of this is affecting the children. They have school friends. They presumably watch tv and films. They know what is normal and what is not.

Have you ever talked to their schools about the problem affecting your family?

When you are all out, you need to make sure this man does not get unsupervised contact with the children. You need the help of Women's Aid.

Please look up family annihilators.
In the vast majority of cases nobody suspected a thing about the men. In many cases the men were under the care of a doctor or had been.

Are the psychiatrists, etc, all aware of the recent deadlocks, window bars and bars on sliding doors, 3 wireless and 6 wired cameras (9 altogether Shock )? Do not rule out any possibility. The doctors are not doing their duty if they have given you any sense of security here or if you are not afraid of him if even slightly.

This man believes you are 'putting the children at risk because of your lover'. It would be a short hop from that to making sure in a way that was completely tragic and final that nobody could hurt the children.

The matter of fact way you describe him turning your home into a prison for you and the children makes me worry for you. How would you go about packing bags with all those cameras trained on you? How are you going to manage the leaving of the house when the day finally arrives with all the locks and the cameras?

OMGMyLifeIsCrazy · 11/06/2019 05:47

He knows I'm leaving and he has accepted it. We are working with the family counsellors to do the move as smoothly as possible so that no one is blindsided by anything. All that is left to do now is taking possession of the new house and moving things. Then we plan to sit with the kids and talk them through things. All the professionals are fully aware of all the facts - I know all the warning signs are there so I have emergency plans in place just in case.

Thanks for your concern. I really do appreciate it.

OP posts:
Blondebakingmumma · 11/06/2019 06:37

Wow! You are going through a lot and seem to be coping quite well 💐💐
If your H knows you are leaving, why has he put the security measures in place?