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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Is my Husband Hiding Something?

106 replies

ChumpMummy · 05/06/2019 11:36

My husband is acting weird... I think he might be planning a birthday party for another woman!

Hello all, today I wish to share my, rather odd experience that I face at this current moment. Well, where do I begin?

It all started, when I was in the kitchen getting my morning cup of coffee, on the kitchen bench was a printer (Only there temporary as we are still shopping for a cabinet) when a HUGE birthday banner came out of the thing! I was so confused, it’s June, however, my birthday is in September! I did some research, and NONE of our relatives have any birthdays in June!

The banner said something along the lines of, Happy Birthday Julie! I was so shocked. There are no Julies’ in his work. So on the day (June 3rd) When the party was supposed to be happening I said I wanted to go out for dinner. But my husband said he was ‘busy’ and wanted to hang out with his friends. What do I do?

OP posts:
mumofwantwomany · 05/06/2019 15:55

No, imo, the children are old enough to know who's at blame here and it's the father. He sounds like an extremely nasty piece of work and if I was her I wouldn't want to sugarcoat that.

Whisky2014 · 05/06/2019 15:57

i think he might be planning a birthday party for another woman

Weird thing today when yourself the party was on June 3rd

mybeebop · 05/06/2019 15:59

He’s been with another woman for 5 months and threw her a birthday party??? Is that right? If that’s right you need to go get a solicitor and file for divorce!! Have you got any access to finances? Which country are you living in?

Rosielily · 05/06/2019 15:59

Can you tell us a bit more about your situation? Where do you live, are you British, do you and/or your husband own your property, do you work etc? Perhaps people here can look up some of the practicalities for you?

Zoflorabore · 05/06/2019 16:02

It would be most helpful op if possible if you could maybe bullet point the facts as you know them. It will make it much easier for us to understand and consequently offer you support and advice.

He sounds like a shit regardless.

I hope you're ok Flowers

KOKOtiltomorrow · 05/06/2019 16:05

Give OP a break .... she’s clearly under the kosh and just realising. Don’t be picking up on grammar and mistakes about dates etc.

AdaShelby · 05/06/2019 16:06

This reply has been deleted

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Ohyesiam · 05/06/2019 16:10

Op, the thing is nobody deserves to be lied to and cheated on. He’s only insulting you to justify his behaviour. It’s a great way to shut someone up, telling them they are inadequate.

In a marriage the idea is that you sort out problems, not go and cheat.

Do you own property together? Are you from the country you are in? Can you see a solicitor?

So sorry you e been treated like thisFlowers

Frownette · 05/06/2019 16:11

I'm not sure I've got this right but I think OP found banner before this party 3 June, H went to party, then today OP went to H's friend for info and was told about divorce...?

C'mon OP, clutching at straws here

Original poster
ChumpMummy · 05/06/2019 16:18

My family live in Melbourne, Australia. I own a Suburban Home. It's all in my name because Husband moved in with me after we got married. I am going to meet him tomorrow and see how that goes. If I am able to forgive him my kids and I will move back in. If not I will file for a divorce

OP posts:
Frownette · 05/06/2019 16:21

When did H move out?

pigeonscooing · 05/06/2019 16:24

What do you mean you will move back in? It's your house!

mumofwantwomany · 05/06/2019 16:29

Why are you considering forgiving him?! After the horrible things he said to you - not to mention he cheated on you for FIVE MONTHS.

agree with pp, why should it be you moving in and not him moving out - especially if the house is in your name.

MNHQ
HopeMumsnet · 05/06/2019 16:30

Hi all,
Thanks to those who have flagged this to us rather than trollhunted on the thread. We never know 100% of course but we don't believe at this stage that this poster is a troll, so we would ask those posters who are not inclined to give the benefit of the doubt just to click somewhere else.

Rosielily · 05/06/2019 16:30

The house is yours, make sure you move back in asap.

MsDogLady · 05/06/2019 16:31

OP, I am very sorry for your pain.

He has been cheating with this OW for 5 months? What a despicable lowlife. He is now trying to shift the blame to you. Don’t buy into this manipulation! If he had issues with your relationship, he could have worked on that with you. Instead, he took the unethical route and cheated, paraded with his mistress in public, told others you had split, and even printed off her party invitations in your home.

Get angry and impose consequences. Tell him to leave now.

Your children should not be in the position of weighing in on whether you are a good wife. You H has been leading a double life and there is NO excuse for that. Don’t protect him. He has already gone public anyway.

Morgan12 · 05/06/2019 16:34

You have left him in your house! Are you crazy woman! Get back there now and kick him out and tell him he can come for a chat and see kids tomorrow.

Personally I would not be forgiving this. This wasn't some drunken one night stand. 5 months! And throwing parties! And not even really trying to hide it!

letsdolunch321 · 05/06/2019 16:44

Meet your husband tomorrow,

DO NOT let him undermine you/blame you/bully you for his actions. He sounds like a selfish pig who has flaunted his affair under your nose.

Please accept he will not change despite what he tells you. Tell him to pack his bags and tell him to go. Get the locks on the door changed and do not give him a key.

Consult a solicitor, you need to be ten steps ahead of him.

Divinelyuninspired · 05/06/2019 16:48

So when did you move out?

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 05/06/2019 17:18

If I am able to forgive him my kids and I will move back in.

Why on earth would you want to stay with this pig? Show your kids you have the self-respect him to divorce him ASAP.

It's YOUR house. Move back in pronto and kick him out.

I know you've had a shock but you're really thinking about this the wrong way around.

Frittata · 05/06/2019 17:18

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Divinelyuninspired · 05/06/2019 17:46

Your timings are confusing. You said on the first page you were going to check his phone when he got home but now you’re saying you have moved out.

Original poster
ChumpMummy · 05/06/2019 17:50

@Frittata What do you mean?
@Divinelyuninspired I decided to stay with my Mother on the way back picking my kids from school.
Tomorrow I will move back in and HE can get out

OP posts:
mumofwantwomany · 05/06/2019 18:01

Frittata mnhq have said on thread they have no reason to think the poster isn't genuine

although Divinely raises a good point - you said you were going to check his phone when he got home at one point but now you've left? Am I just reading this wrong

mumofwantwomany · 05/06/2019 18:02

Sorry just read what you posted OP, makes sense now

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