Familiar story, I’ve met a man and it seemed to be going really well but I’m now having doubts.
The background is four dates, really liked him, always contacts when he says he will, good but macho kind of career (all male team etc), is the rugby playing, out with the boys type but seems kind and respectful if a little hung up on looks. No sex yet (for no deep and meaningful reason other than the last two have been quick lunch dates due to convenience as we live in different cities but he works in mine sometimes and has asked on the off chance) but now something has come up.
He asked me out next weekend and I mentioned that I was away on a hen do which started a conversation about strip clubs. I don’t really like them but said nothing as wanted to see what he would say first iyswim.
He then proceeded to tell me a story about how he was best man to his friend and they went abroad with a group of mates to a place in Europe. He described the strip clubs as “mental” and said something like “you can have anything you want” then explained how he arranged the best man a dance with a small person (apologies, not sure on correct terminology) and then when they were offered a live sex show with a variety of beautiful women, he then chose a morbidly obese woman to partner this first lady. He seemed to find the whole thing hilarious and it was almost as if he thought it was more beneficial to the story for him that he chose these women for their “novelty” rather than traditionally beautiful ones?
I’m not particularly sheltered, I have my own feelings about the sex industry and know this stuff goes on. I also have two brothers who tell me all sorts of stories they probably shouldn’t but it’s just really repelled me to think of him making a joke out of these women with his friends when he probably just wanted me to tell him how different and special he was for not choosing overly attractive women like other men might have. Just yuck.
I’ve no idea when this was or if he’d behave any differently now, if it was a one off or frequent behaviour and I’m not in deep enough to ask really. I could just walk and think I’m probably going to before I find out worse tbh but is this just typical of the attitude certain men have towards women.
Am I throwing away a good catch because he’s been a bit childish and distasteful on a stag do as I’m sure many man have or are my feelings the same as everyone else’s would be?