Would you tell his wife?

[BeepBeepBop1]

After discovering my bf was lying two face (insert any range of swear word) I told his wife about our relationship. I was shocked to see some people didn't think telling her was the best course of action.

I always believe that everyone should have all the facts and truth in a relationship but interested to find out why people wouldn't want to know if they were in her shoes or in mine.

Yeah I think you were right to tell her.

I never understand the school of thought of keeping it quiet, not if you’re directly involved.

Sorry he turned out to be the leftover jizz of a camel’s wank. At least you know you’re well shot of him.

I would want someone to tell me- but with full proof so there's no doubt. I'm talking pics, screenshots of texts- the works.

Sorry you've gone through this

I probably would as I would want to know.

However that’s entirely hypothetical as I’ve never been in the situation and may feel differently if I was.

I would want to be told, especially if you had proof like photos or texts so he couldn't wriggle out of it.

Sorry OP it's not clear if you knew he was married when you started the relationship.

I read a thread recently about the other woman wanting to tell his wife as he'd finished it.

A lot of them kept telling her she was just being spiteful, was xyz and was just spurned because he ended it. A lot of them told her to say nothing.

I think it's awful as any person to knowingly withhold that information from someone who is completely unaware of what their partner has been up to.

Did you know he was married? Do they have children? How did she react?

It's good that you came clean though!

So after that massive long thread advising you to leave it be you did the exact opposite? Bravo
Do you feel like you've won now?

I would want to know, but as a pp says, I’d also want full proof. Not necessarily because I didn’t believe the ow, but because he couldn’t argue with facts and make me doubt myself and my decisions thereafter.

I don't think it should be the OW/OM that tells them. Usually it's not done for the right reasons.

...and now she's back for more raking over of the coals.

Altho... having said that, if ow knew my DH was married when the affair started, the last thing I’d want is her telling me about it after it had finished. It absolutely wouldn’t be because I ‘needed to know’, it would be because she was bitter it was over and that couldn’t be helpful. To anyone.

But you told her to ruin things further between them, give you power over his wife and twist the knife in him for upsetting you. None of that was from a place of 'knowing the facts', it was a vindictive action designed for maximum chaos.

There’s obviously a back story here but I still think the wife deserves to know.

OP could be a spiteful cow. But at least his poor wife won’t be stuck being made a fool of by her arsehole husband!

Oh and I’ve just realised who you are. Ffs 🤦🏼‍♀️

Why the nastiness towards the OP? She found out he had a wife and kids and wasn't the free agent he'd made out so she ended it and let his wife know. His wife kicked him out. He got what he deserves and his wife gets to choose what she wants to do instead of living a lie.

As heart breaking as it would be, I'd want to know.

I would want to know; I’d hope it was done as kindly as possibly though with a note or similar with proof rather than in front of other people or dramatically to meet the needs of the other woman. In part that’s because I’d want to “get my ducks in a row” to leave before DH knew that I knew.

oh shit! I'm so sorry I thought you were someone else 😳
no you were perfectly justified in telling her OP. how are you? I recognised your username and thought you were the poster who knew he was married and then wanted to tell her to hurt her. sorry again

ImAQueen the OP ended the relationship. It wasn't the cheating, lying bastard she'd been seeing who end it.

@TurboTeddy is there more than one thread then because the one I read stated the OP ended it.

@wowfudge 2 posters posted affair threads at very similar times and I think a lot of us thought OP was the other poster. no excuse though we should have advanced searched before replying to be sure

Ok wtf is going on here??