Relationship just ended!! Stop me from texting him!!

[ohhahhh789]

So my relationship of 2 years ended 2 days ago. It was a difficult decision...based on the fact we want different things out of a relationship. We both were clear that we still love each other though and in many ways wanted to be together but given the differences in how we see our futures, we had to end it!! Help!! I'm heart broken and really struggling!! I can't leave my phone alone and want to text him so bad. I need help to not text him! Please stop me 😫

You’re doing the right thing so don’t get in contact with him. I totally understand his logic about his DC, however he wasn’t fair to you, two years ago when he offered commitment.
You have a blank canvass now, fill it with joy

Thanks everyone, it's now day 3 but feels like forever!!

Stay strong and do not text. Ask yourself what is the point? If he really wanted you he would be with you wouldn't he? You say the final goodbye was cold, but I suspect he had nothing left to stay.
I agree, concentrate on you and stop obsessing over how he is feeling and what he is thinking. You will look back eventually and wonder why you wasted all this time on him when you could have been with someone who really values you, remember you are the prize.

Yes I am really annoyed that I wasted all this time. I wish things were different but in reality they aren't. I've resisted so far.... need to hold on and keep it going!!

Well done OP, see it from day to day.

Reward yourself with something nice every week.
I bought myself for example a bottle of nailpolish I had wanted for a while, a nice new book I saw at the bookshop, a lovely healthy lunch with a friend...and remember in a few weeks you will feel better and proud of yourself for showing him you have your dignity! As a good friend of mine says; you are not a product in the discount section of the shop, so dont think or behave like that!

Delete his number. Scary to do, but it'll be a relief.

Block his number do he can't text you and delete it from your phone.

I'm not ready to block or delete his number yet. 😞

I've come to the realisation that I don't think he can no matter who the woman is that he is with. He has too many fears that he just can't overcome

What usually happens is that the next woman he meets will be the one he moves in with and marries, leaving you utterly baffled about his so-called commitment issues.

I know it’s hard to hear, but if he’s not making it work with you it’s because for him, you’re not the one. If he wanted a future with you he’d make it work. I know that’s harsh, but sadly it’s true.

Please don’t waste any more headspace trying to work out how to make him want you back. Even if you text him or you wait and he texts you, and you get back together, it’s just a matter of time before he lets you down again. He sounds flaky.

Ragingwhorebag I really really do not think he will let himself get into a serious relationship, definitely not in the next 5 years whilst his kids are dependant... perhaps further down the line than that but it wouldn't surprise me if he doesn't. I think in about a year or so he will start to date again but won't introduce anyone to his kids. He's introduced me and and it hasn't worked out. He wont want to keep putting the kids through that and I know he's rather be single than take that risk.
I know I need to stop thinking about him. I know there isn't anything that will change the situation we are in, no matter what he says.

He obviously didn't want to commit himself to the woman he left after having children with him.

Why would you be any different?

Rip the plaster off. You'll feel better for it.

Mitzkit you have no idea why he's not with the mother to his children. Who said it's got anything to do with not wanting to commit to her?

OP ignore the harsh comments from people who don't know anything about your situation.

I did 30 days no contact, I marked the date on my calendar and every time I was tempted to contact him I looked at the days left. Once those 30 days had passed I realised I'd survived and kept it going. 4 months now NC, very similar to you, I wanted marriage after 5 years, he ghosted. We are going to the same holiday resort in Summer with our kids, (booked already), so that should be fun!

I'd set my self til Sunday but I think I should go longer than that. I was thinking 30 days but a few days before that is his birthday. I'm thinking I should message on his birthday right? We didn't end on bad terms at all so it seems wrong to not wish him well on his birthday!

Remember that if you "go back" you will be here again. Possibly a decade later.

I disagree its because youre "not the one". Some people just dont allow themselves to commit in a meaningful way to anyone. And I dont blame them to be honest (if its in circumstanced where they are up front and honest with other parties).

Yes I think that's fine if the person is honest about what they are looking for and what they hope to achieve but in my circumstances unfortunately he wasn't leaving me 2 years later hoping for something that was never going to happen.

So difficult, isn't it.

Bear with it. Stress balls? Punch bag?? Chamomile tea? A walk? Scream to s song? It will pass, it just makes you want to headbutt something initially.

Delete his number though. Avoid alcohol.

I wouldn't contact him for his birthday, what for?

Maintaining any contact with someone who has messed you around loads and is clearly Not That Into You would prolong the agony.

Practice self care and stop all contact.

No, don’t message on his birthday. He is not a friend.

Do not text him on his birthday. He is your past now and you do not go back there if you want to go forward.
It is hard but sometimes people need to be harsh to make you understand that he is no good for you. I agree that you were not the one for him or he would have moved heaven and earth for you. You cannot second guess his future, he may very well meet someone and move on quickly because they are right for him.
It was not working for you, it was not going anywhere keep reminding yourself of that. He has made a space for someone new in your life.

I would hold off on the birthday text because if you are doing well with NC, then it will set you back. Take it one day at a time and listen to what your gut (not your broken heart) is telling you. He will let you know if anything has changed and so there is no reason for you to reach out to him.

I would recommend watching Matthew Hussey's Youtube on breaking up/heartbreak. I remember thinking that he had good advice when I was going through a breakup.

I suppose my reason for wanting to still have friendly contact such as to say happy birthday is because we didn't end on bad terms, and we had some good times together so just not completely cutting him out of my life just doesn't feel right. I know we aren't/ can't and won't get back together so wanting to maintain that contact isn't about that.

Do you think he would contact you if your birthday was coming up soon? Serious question - if not, then perhaps you shouldn't contact him. Even if you think he would, the fact that you are contacting him just might make it seem as though you are using the occasion as an excuse to strike up contact again.