Please help is this wrong of me? Do I have a right to keep this baby?

[Katie321516]

Please don’t judge me or call me stupid I met this man believed every thing he said. met him on a night out spent 4 days with him. I dont know where he lives and aparently he doesnt have a phone. i had sex with him only once without protection i did get the norning after pill aftrwards. He came back a week later spent 2 days with me and i havent heard from him since that was 3 weeks ago. just found out im pregnant the morning after pill didn’t work. I want to keep the baby do I have a right to after a one night stand when he doesn’t get a say? He obviously sees me as a nothing one night stand and doesn’t care for me at all plus he has other kids would it be unfair of me to have the baby? I messaged his best friend telling him the news so sure it will get back to him I can only imagine as I don’t know but I assume he’d feel angry and like he wished he’d never had sex with me and see it as a huge mistake and would probably tell me he wants me to have an abortion. Should I consider his feelings or just do what I want to do I’m so confused.

You need to do the right thing for you but be prepared to go it alone.

Of course you can keep your baby, but as PP said, be prepared to do it without him.

What Ravingstarfish said

Ravingstarfish

You need to do the right thing for you but be prepared to go it alone.

You need to do the right thing for the baby.

I would not consider his feelings at all. If you want this baby and feel you can cope with being a single mum then go ahead with the pregnancy.

This is your choice only. No one else’s. Keep the baby if that is what you want.

Please don’t have unprotected sex again though, with a stranger.

Well, I'm assuming because he has other children he knows how they are made? Sounds like you and he were both slapdash with your contraception. He gets to walk away OP, you don't. As a Mum of 2 I can tell you that babies are great but they also change your life forever and often not for the best. Tread very carefully. His feelings are irrelevant to be honest and I'm not sure that he would be interested anyway. You need to decide whether you are prepared to gestate, birth and then raise a child on your own.

Why would you tell his friend and not him?

Anyway, it’s your body so your choice.

But yes, if you’re doing it know that you’ll likely be doing it alone.

teafordad
A baby needs a loving family. It doesn’t have to be a mum and a dad to be a loving family.

You don't know where he lives and he doesn't have a phone? That sounds very weird.

Ah I missed the no phone thing.

So what? He just showed up at your home address for a shag then disappeared again??

Op, I'm practical terms are you in a position to be a single parent?

You have to right to do as you please.

However how old are you? I don't understand why you messaged his mate. This makes me think you're very young?

You don't know where he lives and he doesn't have a phone? That sounds very weird

Yep. My first thought was that he does have a phone, but he lives with his wife and kids and therefore doesn't want OP knowing his address or phone number.

Of course you have a right, but is that what you want?

Ah sorry I also missed rhe no phone thing.

Very odd. He spent four days with you as in the date lasted four days? And you don't know where he lives? Is he homeless?

If he was that bothered about getting you pregnant he would have worn a condom.

Your body, your choice though you may end up a single parent and need to prepare for that.

My first thought was that he does have a phone, but he lives with his wife and kids and therefore doesn't want OP knowing his address or phone number

If the first date lasted four days and he stayed at hers, and he then came back for two days I'd have guessed he was homeless.

Ah yeah, homeless makes sense.

Obviously you have every right to have the child but he may refuse to have any involvement.

Your body your decision. Full stop. If you want the baby you’ll regret getting rid of him/her.

Of course you have the right to keep your baby. Just be prepared to have to go it alone.

Absolutely your decision!

But as has been said are you prepared to go this alone, do you have enough to do this alone

All the best in whatever decision you make OP

Your choice and your choice only.

His choice was made when he chose to have sex without protection. That was where HE got to decide what kind of risk he was happy with.

The end.

It's up to you. It sounds very much as if he wouldn't be involved so bear that in mind - however having said that, having a man involved ni bringing up your child who is a total stranger is something to think about in itself, and if you want to keep the baby, him not being involved has positives as well as negatives.

echo everyone else in here, of course you can keep the baby, just keep in mind you will most likely be doing it alone

He made his choice to risk creating a baby when he had unprotected Don't have an abortion unless YOU decide you want one, but I can't see this man wanting to play happy families with you - he's almost certainly married or in a relationship. These days, few people care, so just enjoy your pregnancy and tell him what you've decided.

One other point is that you'll probably need to claim benefits for support, and they will ask for the father's identity to get him to pay towards it. You might choose to say you're not sure who it was, to save him getting in trouble with his wife, if so.