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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My boyfriend of two years wants charge me to paint my SMALL BOX room.

113 replies

Inayahlewis · 28/05/2019 01:01

I have been with my boyfriend for two years. He spends half his time at my house eating and using everything for free, yet he wants to charge me £160 to paint a SMALL BOX ROOM in his day off. I would do it myself, but I had a very bad back injury and can not stand for long. I am a legal advisor and would never dream of charging him for work he needed doing. Am I wrong for thinking he is being unreasonable.

OP posts:
DaisiesAreOurSilver · 28/05/2019 07:48

Dump the freeloader.

Grainedmonkey · 28/05/2019 07:49

Wanting to charge you is bad enough OP but he also seems to want to make a hefty profit in the process £160 WTF!
It's good that this has happened as others have said, he has shown his true colours before you have committed any further to the relationship and had kids.
Time to say goodbye

eddielizzard · 28/05/2019 07:54

Start charging him then. That'll be £1.75 for tea, 25p for the biscuit, please.

OrdinarySnowflake · 28/05/2019 07:55

Round here, you'll get a painter and decorator for around £12-13 per hour, so unless hes a professional, youd be better off getting someone in.

Then get rid.

IStillMissBlockbuster · 28/05/2019 07:56

So, he's a twat in other areas too I assume, do fill us in.

HulksPurplePanties · 28/05/2019 08:00

Jeez, my first date with now DH was him coming over to do some DIY. He never charged me a thing...

BrienneofTarthILoveYou · 28/05/2019 08:01

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

Sorry Op, but he's not someone who cares much about you at all and if he's like this at such an early stage, it'll only get worse if you married / had kids.

missminagrindlay · 28/05/2019 08:04

This person would no longer be my boyfriend at all. It's a good thing you don't live together as it's that much easier to dump him. He's a mooch and a freeloader.

madcatladyforever · 28/05/2019 08:04

Charge him going escorts rates for sex.

Qweenbee · 28/05/2019 08:05

This unanimous ltb must be a bit of shock op.

It would not be nice for any bf to charge let alone one who takes advantage of free hospitality for 50% of the week. You don't charge him do you op? If so that may possibly put a different slant on things.

booboo24 · 28/05/2019 08:06

No way is this right! Couples do.thingd out of love, not for profit. My fiance has done countless jobs for me in the house and garden and never once mentioned money, I mean I do take him out for a meal as a thankyou but it's not expected. I'd get a professional in for that just for the principle, and I would be deeply hurt

crosspelican · 28/05/2019 08:08

The only positive here is that he did this before you got pregnant so you can kick his ass to the kerb without a second thought (unless there's a big drop feed brewing!).

It's not about the room. This is a clear snapshot of his personality and what a life with him would be like.

Shadycorner · 28/05/2019 08:12

Grin Furryslipperboots

Run for the hills op!

Generosity of spirit and kindness are important!

cakecakecheese · 28/05/2019 08:16

I'm utterly baffled by this. What on earth is he playing at? Is he really that skint?

LannieDuck · 28/05/2019 08:17

Start charging him for food and lodgings, and use the money you save to pay a professional decorator.

Whatdoyouknowwhenyouknownowt · 28/05/2019 08:20

Use the money to see a physio/chiropractor/osteopath & then paint it yourself.

ExhaustedGrinch · 28/05/2019 08:24

How much?! It'd be something if he said he'll do it if you get a take away in but £160!

Word of advice. My mum was with a man like this for 10 years. It was her house and he was the ultimate cocklodger, when they split he wanted half her house despite the fact he'd never done ANY unpaid work on the property or paid a penny towards the mortgage (was paid for before they met). The work she did actually pay him to do ended up costing her thousands to rectify after he left because he did such a shit (and dangerous) job! He paid her a tiny pathetic sum towards bills/food etc. My mum can't believe she wasted 10 years on such an arsehole. Don't be like my mum OP, he's shown his true colours here!

80sMum · 28/05/2019 08:25

What an odd request, OP! You've been a couple for 2 years, not 2 weeks. I would be very hurt and surprised if I were in your shoes.

I wouldn't expect my partner to charge me for doing me a favour or doing little jobs around the house. I think you need to have a serious talk about the nature of your relationship and what each of you is expecting from it and how you each see it progressing. If you're in it for keeps but he isn't, for example, you need to know now so that you don't waste any more precious time on this man and can free yourself to look for another partner.

resisterpersister · 28/05/2019 08:27

I'm on another thread talking about lodgers, and I've mentioned I only had one bad one.

It was a guy who worked as a decorator / handy man (on PAYE for a company, not self employed).

Someone tried to break into our house, but they only got as far as busting the lock.on the main, shared door (we lived in a v. large converted house) and I was stuck in As I couldn't leave as no way to lock up. I told DP & both lodgers and this guy said - no worries I'll run home with a new lock.

It was a simple yale lock and we fitted it together. I said thanks, he said not to worry, it was what he was there for.

The same month our toilet broke. He offeted to get the part from work and fixed it.

Come rent day, he took £110 off the rent for his "work".

I said, WTF - you never mentioned charging, no money was discussed.

He said it was a point of principle - he'd even charged his own mother for work. His own mother? What a dickhead.

I gave him his notice that day as I couldn't live with someone with such a warped view of human relationships.

In his defence he tried to say - but surely I wouldn't give him my professional expertise for free just because he lived there. But he was barking up the wrong tree there. Yes I would, without thinking twice. Plus he'd had loads of free meals off us, which I'd been more than happy to give, but not once I learnt what a taker he was.

OK, your DP's attitude stinks. You're lucky you've had this warning before you get in too deep. Time to cut your losses I think (sorry).

notanotherfucker · 28/05/2019 08:27

This is crazy! He contributes nothing to food? Do you say at his the other half of the week?

I can understand him asking you to buy the paint but that's it!

What a selfish greedy little boy.

Bumbalaya · 28/05/2019 08:31

Wow- what an absolute arsehole!
New Mumsnet low.
Seriously, what is he going to be like when you've got kids- charge you for a day's childcare?

You must rid him from your life then come back to this thread in a few years time so you can really see what we are all seeing (from the vantage point of a good relationship with a sane man!!!)

YoghurtPlease · 28/05/2019 08:32

Maya Angelou says it best:

When someone shows you who they are, believe them (the first time)

No-one in a serious, respectful relationship would ask for money to do a task like this.

Supergrassyknoll · 28/05/2019 08:36

I would jot up how long he's stayed at yours, the market rate for rent, bills, food etc and present him with a bill, then dump the cheeky cunt

babysharkah · 28/05/2019 08:37

What a wanker. You must know you need to get rid, pronto.

StoneColdOld · 28/05/2019 08:39

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