Ghosted!

[Minglewhilstsingle]

Why are people such arseholes?

I had been seeing a guy for the last 5 months, a couple of times a week, messaged nearly every day etc and now I've been ghosted for 8 days!! I've contacted him during this time (once) & nothing back.
I can see he is online on FB often etc.

The last time I saw him things seemed fine.

Just makes you feel really shitty! Could at least have the decency to say if you don't want to see someone anymore, instead of ghosting & leaving then wondering.

Just ranting really.

Thanks all

I do need a plan.... Hmm, could either tell him to do one straight away, or ghost back for the same amount of days & then tell him to do one 🤔

Presuming he does get in contact that is!
Probably won't!!

Cut him off entirely. Don’t contact him again. It’s not worth your time. You will feel better faster if you just move on. I know that we’re encouraged to seek ‘closure’ but frankly it will make you feel worse.

I once let a boyfriend who dumped me by phone have it when he came round to collect his stuff. Did I feel better? No! I should have just been quietly dignified. Then he would have seen his own bad behaviour, rather than smarting at being told off.

Ghosting after a few dates is crummy enough, but five months!? That’s awful. Definitely ignore him if he gets in touch after his hol.

I agree with the previous poster who said he has done this so he is single for his holiday. He may then suddenly re-appear afterwards with some lame excuse. If he does, block him immediately.

Just reply ..

Who’s this?

Fuck him.

If he sends you a message just ignore it. Forever. Ideally leave it "unread" (assuming it pops up and you can see it but not "open" it if its on a messenger of some sort). Fuck that guy.

What’s the betting he contacts you conveniently after his lads holiday...

I always post this on ghosting threads. No dignified silence from me. You’ve been seeing each other for 5 months. I’d go to his house when he’s back from holiday, confront him, make him end the relationship properly like an adult. Breaking up with people is part of life. He’s got to learn how to do it. It’s not fun but tough shit.

What a coward!!

So sorry love.

I hate this.

I dated someone for 7 months and he just literally left me waiting on a Friday night with all my things packed up to go and stay at his for the weekend. I sent two text messages and called once and got nothing back.

By Sunday (another two text messages and one phonecall later) I ended up having to text his friend to see if he was ok (alive) who told me that his father had died and he would probably be in contact after the shock had worn off. I did text this guy and say ‘sorry about your Father, hope you’re ok’ and nothing...

I realised two months later that I was never hearing from him again

Ignore the bastard if he contacts you!

How strange is he!

This isn't in anyway saying that I agree with his behaviour but I was sat next to my DH the other night I was on Facebook and he said look it says I'm online on Facebook and I haven't even got my phone in my hand. His phone will go off in the night someone asking what he's doing online so late when he's asleep so I wouldn't be watching his Facebook sometimes the green light just means they are available and not that they are online at that time.

Don't let yourself be sucked into checking his Facebook and his online status it's clearly only upsetting you more and he's not worth your energy or effort if he's acted like that once your better off without him if he comes running back ignore him and move on. It's nothing you've done wrong either there's nothing wrong with you. anyone that can just ignore someone after spending 5 months with them is the one with issues!

I've had something similar.
Met in Oct, chemistry, we hit it off immediately, she proposed in beginning of December, she booked a Christmas holiday.
Spent the evening with her mid Dec, next day she texts cancelling our arrangements including the holiday. I'd even started looking at rings, bought a new holiday suitcase.

Then texts a week later saying she misses and loves me. Then nothing over xmas, then end of Jan, texts saying misses-loves me etc, etc. Then nothing for 2 months, then text saying she wants to see me., texting resumes as normal.
So I agree, make arrangements, then she cancels the day before, wishes me all the best. No explanation, no call.

So not quite a harsh ghosting. No signs, no arguing, nothing.
Ghosting is quite prevalent after a few dates or a date, its no big deal, maybe a tad rude but nothing worth getting upset over.

Closure is non existent, I did send her message saying it would've been nice for her to ring and her actions were unfair, no reply.
I've left it at that for 2 months..

He has shown you who he truly is and given you a lucky escape even though it doesnt feel like it at present.

You understand that when his holiday is over (and all the shagging/attempted shagging thats gone on whilst hes been away) that he will try to win you back/use you for sex and say it was all a terrible misunderstanding.

Your plan , however painful it is , should be to block him on everything now so that he cannot contact you & you cannot see what he is doing. Now is the time for you take control of the situation and cut him out your life. There are no games for you to think about playing ie about how you reply to his presumed future contact , no explanation that will fix things, no explanation that will allow you to take him back and allow you to keep your self respect.

If you were watching a movie where this happened to the main character you would be screaming at her to hold her head up high, no matter how painful and cut him out of her life to protect herself from future harmful contact that would worsen her self esteem and self respect. Staying connected on social media etc to someone who has hurt you like that is like a form of self harm.

Doesnt mean it wont be painful, but it will help you to heal faster ,

I agree with the previous poster who said he has done this so he is single for his holiday.

Me too. The holiday was the catalyst but there's obviously an underlying indifference/ambivalence towards the relationship too.

He may well get back in contact after the holiday if he's bored, lonely, etc enough. It's very obvious you shouldn't engage if he does though. He's just not interested or committed enough to offer you a decent relationship, and this behaviour doesn't say good things about his character either.

Apparently some men think that if the don't have the 'its over' conversation, the door is open to going back. Which to me is ridiculous and ironic, given that a face to face convo saying 'this isn't working' for whatever reason, may hurt and be disappointing but is still a hundred times less disrespectful and angering than ghosting .. and you could maybe (if the reasons given were resolvable) consider trying again (though probably still not likely to work out).

Anyway 5 months without a finishing conversation is cold - or cowardly - or both.

Also suggests he was seeing it as much more casual than you were.

His loss

Delete him off facebook etc to stop seeing he's online. No point torturing yourself.

He will probably show up with some lame excuse when he gets back from his shagathon at which point you can get your own back and totally ignore him.

Definitely tell him to fuck off if he comes back online after the holiday. Blatant play just to be single while he's abroad. Be prepared for "oh I was just so busy getting stuff ready / lost my passport - had a right panic"'etc. when he comes back. Wanker move after 5 months.

I'm a Medium. (Well, a large in Zara.) He's dead. He dropped dead of a heart attack while choosing your engagement ring, or it might've been while getting a tattoo of your face...? That's unclear. There's s lot of chatter from spirits today.

The last words out of his mouth were, "Tell Mingleshilstsingle that I love her," and then he died, tragically. And a paramedic stomped on his phone by accident so nobody could call you. And the FB thing is a weird glitch as his spirit tries to reach out from the other side.

Oh, and he'd like you to love again, so he says get yourself on Tinder.

@HasThisSoddingNameGoneToo
Thank you for that insightful reading.
Such a shame this terrible event happened to him, but can now happily move on Tinder downloaded.

@Minglewhilstsingle grrrrrrrr men can really be such utter knob heads!!!!!

He has done you a favour. I personally wouldn't manage to say nothing and move on, I get too angry about this kind of thing (I mean, what a cheeky cunt) BUT I do think if you can, that's best. Telling him he's a completely spineless little worm with a tiny cock although very satisfying wouldn't really do you any favours.

Treat yourself to a nice night out and hopefully a better, shinier, nicer sex god man will come along very soon and you will forget all about spineless tiny cock worm. Maybe you'll bump into him one day and you can skip along hand in hand with sex god laughing about what a loser STCW is.

Evening all,
Thanks for all the words of wisdom.

Update:
Guess who is back from their holiday, and guess who's just got a message?!

Man of many words 'Hello'