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Original poster

Looking for quick advice - another cheating story!

80 replies

oreoxoreo · 21/05/2019 09:35

Sadly another cheating story ... found out my boyfriend of nearly 3 years on fabswingers, with positive recent reviews Sad
Of course he is going to get dumped. But we are off to holiday together with my DC (whom he's known for nearly 2 years) in 3 days for 9 days, a long drive abroad and accommodation booked and paid.

He doesn't know yet I know.
Do I carry on for holidays and dump him straight after?
Do I reveal and we still try and go on amicable terms?
Do I reveal and we cancel holiday? (It will be difficult to explain to DC who are looking forward)

What do I do?

OP posts:
Original poster
oreoxoreo · 21/05/2019 11:15

I am fairly calm given the situation, but you are right in saying I couldn't carry through the holiday pretending this hasn't happened.
I've just sent him the screenshots. He says his phone must have been hacked Hmmand he wouldn't have time for that.
Anyway just thinking what's the best for me and DC.. go on holiday or not...

OP posts:
ThatCurlyGirl · 21/05/2019 11:18

Don't go, imagine if you can't keep it in and you're stuck away from home and reliant on him to get anywhere. Or if he wants to sleep with you out there, your skin would crawl.

Kids can feel tension so much more than we realise I think - I knew my parents didn't even like each other at such a young age but thought all parents were like that.

It's not like he's just sent a message to someone in a moment of madness, he's planned and gone through with shagging other women.

You deserve more than another day let alone week with this man! Your kids may be upset but they'll understand when they are older. And at the moment they don't make decisions about what's best for the whole family, you do.

Sorry OP what an awful situation Thanks

Illberidingshotgun · 21/05/2019 11:21

Dump him. Now. A holiday wirh him, knowing what you know, would be torture, and certainly break for you. Do you really want your DC to spend any more time with a dirty, cheating man like this? They don't deserve that.

Look into cheap flights to your location, or is there a friend or family member who would be up for a free holiday in return for doing the driving?

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 21/05/2019 11:28

He says his phone must have been hacked

Oh good grief... glad you got screen shots. It will be deny, deny, deny as he goes through whatever version of The Script he is following.

Sorry, OP. I think you might need to just stay home with DD and have a 'staycation' for a few days. You can still make it special.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 21/05/2019 11:29

Sorry, DC not DD.

sheshootssheimplores · 21/05/2019 11:32

So he’s a liar and a cheat. I don’t think you’d be able to cope with a long journey sitting next to him and then try and have a good time with the kids. It’s a dead duck I’m afraid OP.

ThatCurlyGirl · 21/05/2019 11:47

Phone hacked?!

And the hacker set up a profile as him?

Fucking hell he sounds like such an arsehole and liar OP - and you sound lovely. I'm so angry on your behalf!

Phone hacked!!! He must be confident he can persuade you to think you're overreacting but if anything you're under reacting! Poor you Thanks

Drogosnextwife · 21/05/2019 12:01

You've told him. Let him make his excuses, go on holiday and then get shot when you come back. In the mean time try and get the money he owes you, make up a story about needing it for something ASAP.

Otterhound · 21/05/2019 12:02

Phone hacked? Bollocks. And they had picks of him. And the verifications? Its no so easy to hack an actual phone.

Haha. You’d have to be born yesterday to believe that codswallop!

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 21/05/2019 12:08

He's a lying cheating twat, get rid

As for the holiday...is it a long drive staying at pre-booked places along the way? If not can you fly instead to your destination?

Cactus67 · 21/05/2019 12:12

So not only does he cheat on you and no doubt put your sexual health at risk, (and prob did so when you were pregnant too!) but now he’s insulting your intelligence

HollowTalk · 21/05/2019 12:13

That's one of the oldest excuses in the book. Honestly if you could hack phones, wouldn't you make sure you got something out of it?

Watch out - he'll start to cry soon. Then he'll blame you.

HollowTalk · 21/05/2019 12:14

Surely the money saved from not going with him would mean you could get a cheap flight with your kids?

hellsbellsmelons · 21/05/2019 12:24

Ahhh... the good old 'my phone must have been hacked' crappy excuse.
Men really do think we will swallow any old line.
They assume we are thick and desperate.
It makes my blood boil.

In your situation, I'd get STD checked.
I don't know what I'd do about the holiday.
When I found out my ExH was cheating I still joined him and my DD on the holiday.
It was pure torture. I really wish I hadn't but I would have let so many people down, so I carried on as if nothing had happened.
Hell on earth, is an understatement, but I got through it.

TacoTeabagging · 21/05/2019 12:25

Oh what a fucking scumbag! Don't go, you won't be able to contain the anger/hurt/sadness and it will be awful for you and the children.

Original poster
oreoxoreo · 21/05/2019 12:26

Well he was paying for all driving expenses, and I paid for accommodation.
He is now saying he' must have been setup and he leaves up to me to make conclusions Hmm

OP posts:
managedmis · 21/05/2019 12:30

Anyway just thinking what's the best for me and DC.. go on holiday or not...

^

Well, no? You said earlier you can't or won't drive 1000 miles abroad? So it a no then.

Dump his sorry ass and move on.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 21/05/2019 12:32

must have been setup and he leaves up to me to make conclusions

Pathetic. Tell him you've concluded he's a cheating bastard.

Sorry, but bin the holiday. You can sit next to him in a car for a week, you'll want to throttle him.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 21/05/2019 12:33

Can't not can!

stupidis · 21/05/2019 12:34

Can you ask a friend or relative to take his holiday space?
Or just ditch the holiday and spend the time off removing all evidence of his existence from your life.
Funny how their phones only get hacked when they're caught doing shifty shit

carrotflinger · 21/05/2019 12:38

Either ditch the holiday completely or see if you can afford and get flights to the destination for you and DC.
Obviously if you do cancel it's going to be hard to explain to the DC but imagine going on holiday with him and there being a horrible atmosphere all week. The DC will remember that far longer than a holiday that had to be cancelled.

ThatCurlyGirl · 21/05/2019 12:40

Must have been set up?!

God you almost have to admire the brass neck of the guy!

What a fucking nasty bastard. Get rid OP - in a year not having had the holiday won't be a big deal, and by then you'll have been free of him for ages and loving life!!

Moralitym1n1 · 21/05/2019 12:44

Is there absolutely noone who can drive who could go with you instead - family member/friend?

ltk · 21/05/2019 12:45

Now that you've revealed, you need to split and cancel the holiday, it's the only option left. So that at least made the decision for you!

What a arse he is, OP. So sorry. Do something lovely with dc with the time you have booked off. Or book a lastminute flight to Spain.

Moralitym1n1 · 21/05/2019 12:46

Yeah hacking I'd usually for monetary gain.

What monetary gain is there in arranging to meet a random woman for sex who would also notice you weren't the same person as your photos when you turned up Hmm.

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