DW is allowed to get annoyed, but I am not...

[Norfolkenchants]

When DW gets annoyed at something (whatsoever it be) I am sympathetic, listen to what is troubling her and try to discuss and find a solution (if that is what is being sought).

Recently though, I have found DW just gets angry with me if I get annoyed about anything. I can't discuss the source of it with her because she just tells me to "stop complaining". Maybe she's just got used to telling the kids to stop moaning, but it really yanks my chain, it feels very one-sided and I can't help feeling it's driving a bit of a wedge between us.

Any idea what I can do to bring this one back on track?

there's nothing worse than hearing the kids whining all day then hearing your other half do the same

is she just snappy in general? knackered, under paid, over worked, you know the story?

What is she maoaning about?

This sounds like me

Just tell her to stop complaining when she starts and point out its not very nice when she objects?

Littlelapin - she knows and I tell her (although I'm getting a bit tired of doing so). She just dismisses anything I have to say and I don't really like taking my woes elsewhere (except anonymously on MN of course ).

If she won't listen properly in person I would write her a letter. I kow it sounds a bit daft, but if dh did it I know it would stop me in my tracks and make me think "shit, this is actually quite serious", rather than just "oh shut up, you whinging bugger" which, as you say, is just 'default mode' because of the kids. Maybe team the letter with a bunch of flowers to show that you are trying to open a dialogue, not pick a fight.