If I leave DH and take DD can he stop me?

[GreenEverything]

If I were to leave DH and take our one year old DD with me (250 miles away to family) could he stop me or take her off me?

If he's on the birth certificate then there's nothing stopping him in theory.

When would you think he would get to see your daughter, though?

What are your reasons for leaving him?

He could apply to courts for an emergency order to prevent you moving away with her.

Is he a risk to her?

He can apply to court to prevent you moving so far (obviously can't stop you ending the relationship) and there would need to be a good reason why you won't allow regular contact, which aside from significant SG risks, is almost always deemed to be in a child's best interests.

No, he can't stop you and child access arrangements would either have to be arranged via courts or between yourselves. Given that he's suggested he'll take her off you, I suggest court. Do you have evidence he's threatening this?

Why do you want to take your 1year old 250 miles away from their father?
Is he a threat to her ?

He's not a threat. I wouldn't want to stop access but I moved to live with him in his city and all of my friends and family are far away. The relationship had broken down and I want to move back to my family.

If you move then any court would most likely expect you to either do the travelling for him to see her or pay for the travel. I can understand why you want to run home but you have to think of what's in her best interests and being 250 miles from her dad is not, in my opinion, in her best interests.

Yes if he has an inkling you're going to do this, he could go to court to try and stop you.

@Ginger1982 thanks but I don't need advice on what's in my daughter's best interests.

So any woman who has a baby with someone can never move without the father's consent?

OP every family’s situation is different. The court would look at your situation and make a decision. You can leave and take your daughter but bear in mind if he goes to court with this (and I certainly would if I was him), then things might get tricky for you. I could see you having to do an awful lot of travelling every week.

Short answer is yes, he can apply to have you stay in the city you are currently. You chose to live there and have a child there, he is obviously established there, and courts would want the child to see both parents u less there is a safe guarding issue. Whilst he can apply to have you return, it's whether he would be able or willing to take that step as it will end up costly to both of you.

Your wish to go back is entirely understandable, however he would be entitled to go to court to try and stop this, and I know of several women who have been prevented from moving big distances by the courts.

Try and think about how contact might work - do you both work regular office hours, in which case would his contact be at weekends? Would you each be driving 125 miles each way and meeting in the middle every other weekend, or would you be willing to drive her down and pick her up? (that would be 1000 miles in a weekend which doesn't sound sustainable). What happens when she starts school? How will you ensure that he is able to build a relationship with the school, attend parents evenings, plays, sporting events etc?

Just some things to think about that the court will want to know. Why not seek some legal advice first?

@GreenEverything Yes you can move if you want within the UK but he could try and stop you given it's so far away. Wouldn't you if he wanted to take her 250 miles away?

@GreenEverything- basically- yes. The court initially looks at keeping children near both sets of parents. That's not to say you wouldn't be granted leave to go- citing family support etc. but as someone who did have a baby with something far from home and is still here because although I have no family support, she has her dad, I (personally) decided that the relationship with her dad was more important than my wants because the relationship had gone tits up.

So any woman who has a baby with someone can never move without the father's consent?

You can move without consent- what you can’t do is prevent fair and reasonable access, which moving 250 miles away would do.

In court he would probably be entitled to 50:50 access if he is a good parent, you would have to facilitate this if you moved away.

I understand you want to be near your family- but your DD’s family includes her Dad. He would need to be able to see her 3/4 days/nights a week if that is what he wanted.

That is a really long way. Yes he can apply to Court to stop you. Have you seen a solicitor yet? How much contact do you think he wants?

I want him to have a decent amount of contact. I'd like to come to an agreement but I'm not sure how we can facilitate it because of the distance.

I can't afford to be single and stay in the city we live in now, I physically couldn't afford to rent anywhere here for myself and my daughter. My family have a home they let out they will give to us and I want to bring my daughter up around our support network. I can't stay here.

Yes you can but equally he can apply to the courts to stop you or collect your daughter from you and refuse to return her.
Ideally you’d agree with him that you’re going to move but if that’s not possible I’d see a solicitor so you’re ready for whatever he does

He could take you to court and force you to stay or force you to drive/pay the 250 miles for contact. My ex used to live 150 miles away (he moved away) and I had to beg him to move closer as the travel was tough on the kids and I could see that they were close to asking for no contact with their Dad as they found it really hard. He now lives about 40 minutes away and the kids are much happier.

If he has Parental Responsibility, he could keep her with him and the police would only do a welfare check if there's no court order defining contact. It is rare but I've read on here about dads not returning the child and the mum had to go to court and get a judge to order the kids return.

Green if it was your DH thinking about doing this with your DD would you try and stop him?

So what you see as a decent amount of contact? How do you envisage that working? How do you plan to facilitate his involvement in all aspects of her life - school, hobbies, interests etc? As I mentioned before, one of both of you will have to spend many weekends driving long distances. Can either of you afford to find that long term?

Not expecting you to have answers to all of this, of course, just suggesting things to think about.

Have you asked him yet?

My mum wanted to do similar when I was little, in the end I stayed with my dad with infrequent holiday visits with my mum. I would be way off downplaying your current situation too much (unable to stay in area etc) as that does play into his hands somewhat to grant him majority custody to minimise disruption to dc

If I could find money to move out and live in a nearby area (30 miles away ish) could he stop me then?

Why do you think you'll automatically be the resident parent?

I'd like to come to an agreement but I'm not sure how we can facilitate it because of the distance.

So you think it's acceptable to move and deprive your daughter of any kind of relationship with her father?

I'm unless there's some huge drip feed about how the father is really abusive.