Morning wise people of MN. I need your guidance... It's probably over long for the question but didn't want to drip feed and wanted to give a full picture for clarity.
In January, I met a man. Prior to that, I have been single for around 5 years or so.
I feel I'm ready for, and deserve, a loving, loyal, long lasting relationship with someone and everything about this man and how we are together has suggested that he has the potential to be that someone.
Which brings me to the 'problem'.
He divorced a few years ago. He subsequently had another relationship which ended around last summer. He told me they were still friends on fb after the breakup but didn't have any contact with each other otherwise. Then in March, he told me that she'd contacted him saying that she'd like to give the relationship another go. He said that he'd met someone else, was really happy and had no interest in doing so and he told me that he'd deleted her contact details on his phone and unfriended her on fb. All good so far? I said that it sounded like 'unfriending' was probably the best option. No drama.
Except that, the last time I saw him, he was sitting next to me scrolling through down a list of names on fb that I assume was his friend list (his friends list is set to private) - and her name came up. Or at least I think it was her name.
I only know her first name. It's not unusual but it's not common either. So when I saw it, I did wonder, but didn't say anything. I'm not too proud to say that I did a bit of 'looking' when I got home and he had tagged her in posts during the time they would have been together but there has been no activity since they split up - he posts so rarely this I only went back about 25 posts!
So it appears to me that he told me he had unfriended her and deleted her contact details but hadn't actually done so. I want to speak to him about it but I don't know how to broach it. If it is her, then I will end it with him. Not because he is fb friends with his exgf, but because he will have lied to me about it after telling me that she would like to get back together with him.
But because his friends list is private, it will be obvious I have seen her name on his list over his shoulder and then turned into Columbo.
But I don't know what to say to him. I feel I need some guidance because, left to my own devices, I'll just be really blunt to the point where, if I am wrong, I'll have ruined it anyway.
But I don't think I am.
TL;DR - it appears that boyfriend is still friends with his ex gf despite telling me he'd unfriended her after she asked to rekindle the relationship whilst we were together. If this is the case, then he has lied to me. His friend list is private so I'd only know by 'snooping'. Lying is a dealbreaker. How to I bring it up?