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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

How do you ask someone you're casually dating but who has gone a bit cold with texting if they want to leave it ?

59 replies

bigchris · 09/05/2019 20:10

I feel like I need closure

I feel sad because we were really close, texting etc but he's gone quiet , started off saying busy but now really quiet

Before he was so enthusiastic, I feel sad but feel like I need closure

OP posts:
IvanaPee · 09/05/2019 20:12

Any attempt at closure is just going to be you chasing him looking for scraps.

Delete his number. Seriously do.

Original poster
bigchris · 09/05/2019 20:17

Oh you think ?

God I feel so so down, I'm an idiot Sad

OP posts:
Arnoldthecat · 09/05/2019 20:17

Bite the bullet and move on.

IvanaPee · 09/05/2019 20:18

You’re not an idiot! But he’s not worth it.

If he has a legitimate reason, he’ll still have your number. He can contact you.

But if you delete his, you delete the temptation to beg for his attention. I don’t know you but I’m 100% sure you’re worth way, way more than that!

WallisFrizz · 09/05/2019 20:19

You’re not an idiot. Dating is really fucking hard. It’s not personal just delete him and hold your head up high.

Original poster
bigchris · 09/05/2019 20:22

Oh thank you, I just really liked him, I had no idea he'd just go cold like this, he seemed so nice

OP posts:
IvanaPee · 09/05/2019 20:24

They always do.

Original poster
bigchris · 09/05/2019 20:26

I don't think I'm strong enough to date, I can't handle rejection

OP posts:
IvanaPee · 09/05/2019 20:31

Aw @bigchris maybe just take a break for a while?

My sister is in the dating game right now and it’s bloody hard woke. There are a shit load of frogs out there.

Chin up Wine

Onemansoapopera · 09/05/2019 20:33

Over how many days OP has he gone quiet?

Original poster
bigchris · 09/05/2019 20:50

He used to say morning and night, ask me about my day, we had a lot of banter etc

Now he only says morning if I say it first and then nothing all day, nothing at all over The weekend

OP posts:
Original poster
bigchris · 09/05/2019 20:50

In the evenings a lot of messages, now none , no suggestions of a drink either

OP posts:
Original poster
bigchris · 09/05/2019 20:51

I feel pathetic just typing it , we had such a laugh, I suppose I felt a bit of happiness and hope for the future

OP posts:
MIA12 · 09/05/2019 20:53
Flowers

It’s shit but if he’s gone cold he wasn’t the right person. Don’t lose hope.

Mother87 · 09/05/2019 20:56

I know it feels horrible... but i don't believe any good will come from chasing him in ANY way... dust yourself off... don't demean yourself in any way

QueenOfPain · 09/05/2019 21:01

I think he’s made his intentions clear. Walk away with your head up. There will be another one along shortly, don’t worry.

QuickQuestion2019 · 09/05/2019 21:04

Had you met up much?

ChiaraRimini · 09/05/2019 21:09

Sorry but chances are he's met someone else. There's no point chasing him just move on x

HollowTalk · 09/05/2019 21:11

How many times had you actually met him?

Original poster
bigchris · 09/05/2019 21:19

Several times over 3 weeks
Slept together twice

OP posts:
Handbag101 · 09/05/2019 21:21

Awww OP. Don't feel down. Why don't you plan sometime nice for yourself at the weekend. It's Friday tomorrow. Please don't feel down. He's not worth it.

Original poster
bigchris · 09/05/2019 21:25

Thanks handbag, he nust seemed so nice and funny, amd i so wish i hadn't slept with him, we had a laugh, lots in common, I shouldn't have trusted him

God I'm so wet aren't I?!

OP posts:
WeakAsIAm · 09/05/2019 21:28

Don't think of it as regret, you met had a good time (sex included). It's a very male opinion that girls should only sleep with long term partners.
But agree time to move on, it's all an experience. Around the corner there's something better.

Bythecooker · 09/05/2019 21:29

I had one of these this week, had been out even less than you but it still hurt. I did send a message to ask, did get a nice but rejecting message back. I needed to hear it. If you need that why not, it's not undignified in my opinion, it's letting him off the hook too easy to just let it wither. I'm obviously in the minority thinking this but just do what makes you hurt the least.

Handbag101 · 09/05/2019 21:29

We've all been there girl I tell you.... Don't contact him anymore. Honestly it's for the best. We've all been there. Chin up and do something nice for yourself. Give it a few days and you'll start to feel better...