Nipples in public!

[Mydoghasbettereyebrowsthanme]

Hi all - NC for fresh perspective! Will keep brief ...out for a lovely bank holiday walkwith DH and DC and i am wearing a black bra, black spaghetti - style vest top and then a cotton loose vest over that and a black cardigan which has no buttons asbits a wrap style.Fresh sea breeze has the obvious effect on my nipples- DH has asked me to cover them up by holding cardi wrapped up as he is offended and upset when men ( generically) look at them. He says men will look and have eexual thoughts and it upsets him . I got a little annoyed as it had not even occured to me - i am a plump middle aged woman and am completely invisible most of the time. I said its not down to me to be responsible for other people bit he said i should not deliberately upset him . Who is being u here ? Help !

And haha mayalready and pinkearsefly!!

So does he or does he not think that he can “tell” you what to do?

If he doesn’t, then he has alerted an adult to the possible consequences of her attire and she can now do what she likes with that information.

If he does, ask him why, and how long has he been under that impression. Explain to him that he is mistaken.

Feminism does not exist? What colour is the sky on his planet?

He’s distressed by you choosing your own clothes?

"Not deliberately upset him"
...or else?

He's a twat.
However, your doggie is lovely.
I am so not a dog person, never had one nor wanted one, have had 9 or so cats in my 65 years but I just love the dog's face.
If anything could make me even the tiniest bit 'doggie person' it would be your lovely dog.
My DH of 50 years has come to the conclusion that;
a) I am drunk
b)I am overwhealmed with this retirement malarkey or
c)Too much Mumsnetting.
However, He agrees that your DH is a bit of an arse but your dog is very cute.

'Feminism does not exist' is his way of telling you your opinion doesn't matter. In his view you are his property and it is your duty to fulfil his needs and wants to keep him happy. He has effectively dismissed the rights of all women and reinforced that only the opinions of men are important.

It is your body, and your choice. You can wear exactly what you want. Women can go topless on the beach and go to nudist beaches and decent men don't start foaming at the mouth at the sight.

His attitude makes me sick to be honest.

If my DP ever said anything like that to me I'd go out topless. If he finds it so distressing maybe you could ask him to go out with this on .....

Cute dog, not so cute DH.

Nipples are nothing special, we’ve all seen them at some stage. You were hardly walking down the promenade shirtless. Tell him to get a grip.

Him pointing out that you can see your nipples is fine. Him telling you the rest is out of order.

I also have prominent nipples and they used to embarrass me and I feel more comfortable now that I wear a slightly padded bra. But no boyfriend has ever mentioned it (other than as a joke 'are you happy to see me..? Between us)

Firstly he is wrong, most men are not the same. My husband would likely point out that he could see nipples before we left the house but he would do so to make sure I knew they were on show. He would have no issue with me wearing a see through top out of the house with no bra if I was comfortable and would no way make me feel bad for it.

Same for the knickers point in my head. Someone can point out your knickers are on show, to make sure you are aware. If you decide to keep flashing them that's your decision & no one should have any further say. Your knickers, your business.

This has made me think.

My parents are in their 70's. My dad is quite conservative and, I guess 'meek' to most. My mum is the opposite...most would say she 'wears the trousers' (if they were sexist) and in the summer will sunbathe in their back garden in just her bikini bottoms. She will also go topless on the beach/by the pool on holiday (as long as it's allowed). My dad has never once asked her not to do this, or made her feel uncomfortable about her own body.

I think a lot of men could learn from my dad

I would be topless all of the time if my h said that!
I also wouldn’t be letting him touch my body if he felt so ashamed by it.

He sounds like a knob
Has he always told you how to dress?

How dare you deliberately upset your husband by having nipples! 🙄 ridiculous man

I think you are BU.

Think of all the babies out there who will suddenly feel famished at the sight of your nips. You could cause untold damage walking down the street, passing prams and making children feel hungry, making other mums feel inadequate because they are not blessed like you. You are a brazen hussy madam and should not appear in public without a blanket over a kevlar vest.

Or you could just take that lubbabble doggidge with you. Everyone will look at him and wouldn't notice a thing about you.

Can you crochet?

Co Utd you perhaps whip up a tea cosy, a hat, something for the dog, ...

This isn't funny. He is a controlling misogynistic arse.

Is this how you want the rest of your life to be? Is this the role model you want for your DC?

"why would i deliberately want to upset him / do something that i know will upset and distress him ?"

Flip it and ask him why is he wanting you conform to something that distresses you? Pleasing him, his "ideas of modesty", upsets you because those ideas are sexist and bullshit so why is he insisting on it?

Agree that "feminism doesn't exist in the real world" is a crap thing to say or believe - yes, because wanting equality is a thing that shouldn't exist in the real world He's perpetuating that himself.

Don't put up with this nonsense.

Drawn in the steam on the bathroom mirror.

Pink mousse with a cherry on top.

Topiary in the garden

A centre piece of white flowers with a pink one in the middle...

Mess with his mind. He is very annoying.

I once had an ex that used to create because I went topless on the beach. That’s one of the reasons he’s an ex. And l still go topless on the beach.

So you're not allowed to inadvertantly expose the vague contour of a clothed nipple yet he's allowed to expose himself as a massive tit? That makes not a lot of sense.

I’d tell him not to worry. Anybody who looks at you will be too distracted by the massive tit you’re with to notice your nips.

What they said ^

Oh i meant to say he did apologise for saying do as your told but he said he was distressed and desperate. ...i cannot get accross how unsexy my clothes were yesterday btw

He's quite the delicate flower isn't he? Distressed and desperate? That if someone got really really close to you and peered through your three layers of clothing they might be able to see a ghost of nipple? I think it's best if he doesn't leave the house in future. Is he by any chance related to the Sistine Chapel Screamer?

@Itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis - cherry bakewell cakes

Apologies - been at work . Thank you for all your comments - some of them have made me properly snort with laughter . ( very unladylike) on a serious note, although i feel strongly about it this row has dragged on and on and i think its just going to get dragged under the carpet for the sanity of the house. I WILL call him out on it every time even if he thinks i am a mad feminist but this alone is not ground for ltb . I will be paying attention to details - and hopefully he will get the idea. I do have doormat tendancies so will resist that urge. Thanks for the compliments about my pooch - wally is the lushest dog ever and has many times saved my sanity just by loving me and being his wonderful self ❤ thank you ! Xx