Nipples in public!

[Mydoghasbettereyebrowsthanme]

Hi all - NC for fresh perspective! Will keep brief ...out for a lovely bank holiday walkwith DH and DC and i am wearing a black bra, black spaghetti - style vest top and then a cotton loose vest over that and a black cardigan which has no buttons asbits a wrap style.Fresh sea breeze has the obvious effect on my nipples- DH has asked me to cover them up by holding cardi wrapped up as he is offended and upset when men ( generically) look at them. He says men will look and have eexual thoughts and it upsets him . I got a little annoyed as it had not even occured to me - i am a plump middle aged woman and am completely invisible most of the time. I said its not down to me to be responsible for other people bit he said i should not deliberately upset him . Who is being u here ? Help !

Sorry op, but your husband sounds absolutely horrid. Not to mention perverted and creepy.

Mayalready have attached a photo of said gorgeous eyebrows lol xxx DH is not pervy i dont think - i think he sees it as being honest ?

The 'do as you are told' would be a dealbreaker for me.

Me too. I'd be incandescent.

When did hiding nipples become a thing? This was not something we worried about at all. Nipples come and go throughout the day.

Your husband is being an idiot. Not just because he is reacting to something completely innocuous.

We have all got nipples. If someone said that to me, l would make sure my top was undone to the point that everybody could see my nipples in all their glory, not just an outline through tge fabric!

Amazing brows!! He is very handsome. Not looking like you need dh when you already have such a gorgeous dude to be seen out with!!

Well of course you are all right - not sure i would have the balls to flash my actual nipples though ! I bf all three of my children and never had an issue that i can remember . I would feel bad if i was making someone uncomfortable of course because its about manners i suppose but not to the point where i wouldnt do it - i mean thats the whole point .i would just try to be discrete. I am not one to be loud and defensive about it iyswim.

Tahnks mayalready - i think he is the best dog in the world obvs !

So you're not allowed to inadvertantly expose the vague contour of a clothed nipple yet he's allowed to expose himself as a massive tit? That makes not a lot of sense.

I have very prominent nipples.if it's cold you can't miss them unless I'm wearing a thick jumper. Or a coat.

If a man I was with had the cheek to criticized them I would probably dump them on the spot. It's ridiculous.

I suppose you could point out that the bulge of his genitals is frequently visible and suggest he's being wilfully provocative. Then quickly take a photo of his

Haha Prawn. I wonder if he knows that his trouser covered groin is secretly sending all the women wild with desire.

I too have prominent nipples. I wear a thick padded bra and jumper and they can still sometimes been seen. A male colleague once asked me if I was smuggling peanuts and insinuated I did it on purpose. I was even wearing a blazer so he must've gone out of his way to catch a glimpse.

Armed with knowing i am not being unreasonable , i have just tried to talk to him about it again to reason with him so he could understand why i was cross about it and he just did not understand AT ALL ! he told me about a time when he was talking to a couple of friends (who were together at the time ) when her boyfriend realised the silhouette of her nipple was prominant and when her bf tactfully pointed it out she was grateful he had. I think from the fact that DH told that story is reason to show he still doesnt understand the point i was tryibg to make . Sigh. He now has gone to bed with the hump

Prawnofthepatriarchy - i understand that he thinks that women dont think the same as men so a groin under cloth would not have the same effect on them . Idiot .

DH is not pervy i dont think - i think he sees it as being honest ?

He's coming across as pervy as it sounds like he's assuming other men are like himself, he's worried about men having sexual thoughts about your fully clothed nipples is because he has sexual thoughts if he walks past a woman with erect nipples.

The answer isn't for men to tell their wives to cover up, it's for the pervy men to get over themselves.

And that's one cute doggy 💕

Aw thanks bossypurples - he is the best ! My dog -not my husband clearly. I don't think ibwill ever make him understand . I think i will give up and drop it anyway now

Just tell him - women aren't responsible for the thoughts & actions of men. Simples!

Morning lovely mumsnetters - i need to add this thread. After DH went to bed with the hump and a very frosty atmosphere this morning getting children to school , he came home and we tried to talk about it. I promise you we tried - but he strated the discussion with 'is there any aspect of your words and actions yesterday and last night that might have been unreasonable possibly ?' Which is mit the best way to start. Honestly i probably raised my voice too much but he went on to say that he just does not understand or agree - why would i deliberately want to upset him / do something that i know will upset and distress him ? Why do i value this 'ridiculous'feminist idea over respect for my husband and being mindful of how horrible feeling jealous is ? did i not understand that he was just trying to protect me ? He also said that if i was wearing a skirt and i sat down in such a way that my knickers were showing, would i not want someone to tell me so ? Would i not be grateful for that ? I said to be honest i cant cover up all parts of my body that any man might find attractive- unless i wear a burka . And what about appearing in public in a swimsuit ?? I am so angry have left for work fuming

I’d tell him not to worry. Anybody who looks at you will be too distracted by the massive tit you’re with to notice your nips.

Op please be wearing a wet suit and flippers when he gets home....
Tell him you are taking ddog out and being prepared for rain....

I'd be fucking furious.

My nipples, I'll do what I want with them and I will not change my behaviour to appease any man's insecurities or pervy thoughts.

If my husband asked me to there would be one almighty argument. I would not give up on that one, it's so fundamentally important for women to be able to wear what they want, when they want.

Sorry you're dealing with this shit.

Wow. Your nipples are exactly that - yours. Not his. I'd be telling him his face being on display made me uncomfortable so can he please cover it up.

Does he “tell” you to do other things?

Perhaps you’ve been talking at cross purposes all these years? You’ve been thinking he’s “asking” and he’s assumed he’s “telling” you what to do. Have a chat about that. Explain to him that you have at no point given him ownership of you or your nipples and perhaps he needs to remember that.

Thank you for your posts . I have said all those points to him and i have,for once, stiod my ground but he genuinely does not undestand why i am being so 'stubborn' i probably have given in a lot in the past but this has really got my goat- we sre on shaky ground as neither giving in and or apologising . He says that in the real world these things are a fact of life and feminism does not exist in the real world. He suspects most men think the same. What am i supposed to say about the knicker analogy ? Any ideas ? Xx

Oh i meant to say he did apologise for saying do as your told but he said he was distressed and desperate. ...i cannot get accross how unsexy my clothes were yesterday btw