Did you get married when you didn't want to?

[rubyblueeyes]

i did. I remember everything going very fast and the wedding was booked quickly. I did have doubts but went ahead. 3 years later we've separated. Anyone else in the same boat?

I think it’s quite common. My life long bestfriend did at 25, she wasn’t happy and I knew it, she was settling, but her family was so happy and she couldn’t bare the disappointment. I tried to make her see sense but it was a path she had to take.

Twice.

Once. For a visa but we nnever went through with the application because I knew it was a mistake. Lengthy and costly divorce after

Yes. Because I thought no one else wanted me. That may still be true but I'm happily divorced and single.

I felt dread on my wedding day but ignored it. The wedding cost my parents 20 grand and I couldn't pull out

No - why would you? that's a hell of a thing to do if you don't think it's right!

No, I was 100% in.

We still split up after 5 years. Remember you're spending money on something that might only be enjoyable for 5 years if you're lucky.

I was stupid redsheep. I'm never marrying again.

Yes and no. I knew I didn’t love him (anymore) by the time the wedding came around. But we were so invested. Aaaaaall our family and friends were so invested. And I thought it would be so humiliating and hurtful to call it off.

The wedding itself was so bloody wonderful, having all my family and friends together, that I’m glad it happened.

A year later, we quietly, amicably, separated and divorced.

and I would remarrry. Why wouldn’t you remarry, OP?

it's too much hassle and another man might want a child and I'm not down for that! I find relation ships and keeping someone happy too stressful

Did he still love you brose?

I had a hairdresser who said he drove to the church knowing he was doing the wrong thing - he knew the wedding wouldn't last. It only lasted a few months.

I did it twice

BeachBody me too - once when I was 22, big white wedding, it lasted a year most of which I was seeing the man I married the next time, aged 26, because I couldn't bear to be alone. I knew within a week of moving in with him I'd done the wrong thing but I carried on, I thought it was something I had to work at and surely he was better than my first husband. 30+ years later, still paying the price.

Yes. Me. I thought would make things better in that he would feel more secure. It didn’t and for various reasons I became more and more miserable. We split at the start of the year and I’m sad - can’t help wondering if I had of been stronger we might still be together. I’m not sure why I didn’t want to marry him though as I did love him. I think it really was my PIL... odd I know

your PIL?

I did. But I knew if I called it off it would be the end of the relationship and I wasn't ready for that to happen at that point in time. I felt dread on the way to the wedding but I put it down to nerves. Marriage only lasted a year and most of that was pretty awful

Yes, I did, the first time. I thought i was doing the right thing.

This time it’s absolutely right (getting married again this year 😊😊).

I did, such was the EA I was even the one to propose!
We split after 18 months of marriage (8 year relationship)
Ultimately I got promoted at work and became the higher earner. That was the final nail in the coffin, the abuse became physical after that.
Thankfully I had close friends/family who stopped me from minimising and helped me to leave that prick!

I did, we had children and I thought it was what we were supposed to do. Lasted 6 months.

Yes, stood at the registry office thinking to myself what am I doing, we had been together 9 years and got three dc, it lasted another 9 years

Rubyblueeyes - parents in law; they weren’t keen on me and the feeling was mutual. I’m trying to make sense of it, since we split. I definitely loved him and wanted to be with him but was not fussed about them being part of my life.
I knew they were important to him and that was fine with me but I didn’t want anything to do with them after a point (lots of barbed comments, undermining my parenting, their views on life). A lot of my miserableness came from his expectation that I needed to see them, which I did to make him happy but made myself feel horrible in the process.

Yes, and I should have known better. I won't make the same mistake again. Lasted far longer than it should have too because I knew how difficult splitting up would be. Wasn't wrong about that unfortunately. He's an abusive narcissist. My family are all relieved I've finally seen sense.

Yes because my dad was dying and I wanted him to see me married. He was the only one who said are you sure you’re doing the right thing? It lasted 18 months.

Second time I walked away 6 months before I was due to get married. I’m so glad I did!

Yes. I was 23 and had only known him 8 months.

I hadn’t long left uni when we met, had no friends at home and nowhere to go. Also had had an abusive relationships from 20-21.

Ended in a women’s refuge after 5 years.