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Original poster

Feeling pressured into sex

76 replies

NeonQT · 04/05/2019 11:20

I’m just wondering for my own piece of mind if this is normal? I’m currently pregnant with my 5th child, and I’ve totally went off sex. It’s been 9 weeks since me and my partner done it and he’s getting frustrated.

I give in the other night and just let him get on with it so he’d shut up about it. He tries to touch my bits and rub Me ‘to get me in the mood’ aswell as put my hand on his parts. He literally begs for 5 minutes to do what he needs to do.

I’m also on antidepressants which has a effect on my sex drive and I just generally hate being touched right now but totally understand his frustration.

Is this normal after going a while without intimacy?

OP posts:
SuperLoudPoppingAction · 04/05/2019 11:22

Are you asking if it's normal or if it's an acceptable way for your partner to treat you?

I don't think it's acceptable for him to pressure you and touch you in ways you don't want.

Original poster
NeonQT · 04/05/2019 11:24

I’m not sure, kind of wondering if other people’s OH’s act the same way after a while without sex and if other people would be bothered by it.

OP posts:
SuperLoudPoppingAction · 04/05/2019 11:29

How does he act?

Yallnotreadyforthis · 04/05/2019 11:32

No, if I went off it then he would probably text me to ask if something was wrong and what he could do to help. Not the healthiest way to deal with it, but he wouldn't pressure me into having sex I don't want.
You're not a hole for him to ejaculate into, you're a human being. If you don't feel up to sex right now because you're pregnant, then he should understand and be grateful about it. You're not saying no sex ever again.

Yallnotreadyforthis · 04/05/2019 11:33

*graceful about it.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 04/05/2019 11:33

He literally begs for 5 minutes to do what he needs to do if all he needs is 5 mins then is he not capable of wanking?Confused

He sounds like he's pestering you and this is not acceptable especially if you've already made it clear you don't want to.

Have you tried talking to him about it?

Original poster
NeonQT · 04/05/2019 11:36

I’ve talked about it, explained my sex drive during pregnancy is non existent and he was happy with that for a few weeks before pressuring again.

He says he’s tried masturbating but it’s not the same.

OP posts:
category12 · 04/05/2019 11:39

Grim.

Treesthemovie · 04/05/2019 12:02

It's not normal, no

PlinkPlink · 04/05/2019 12:05

No it's not normal.

My ex was like this. It wasnt until I broke up with him and met other people that I realised his behaviour was totally unique and fucking wrong.

Do NOT be coerced into sex. It is an awful thing to go through and you will end up resenting him... and ultimately, not wanting sex with him at all.

He should be respecting your body. Instead he's using it as a wanking sock. Disgusting man.

Original poster
NeonQT · 04/05/2019 12:05

May be ‘Grim’ but such is the reality of many. There’s still some who believe a woman should let a man have his way and it’s part of the relationship.

OP posts:
Original poster
NeonQT · 04/05/2019 12:08

I’ve explained it’s nothing to do with him personally that I don’t want sex, he understands it’s litetally just that when im pregnant I don’t like it and don’t like being touched intimately and he doesn’t take it personally, apart from that he’s a good person, respectful, but it is me running round with the other four while being pregnant as he works full time so obviously that takes it’s toll.
But I am starting to resent him for keep pushing.

OP posts:
ZeldaPrincessOfHyrule · 04/05/2019 12:19

No one with any shred of common decency, man or woman, thinks it's right to "let a man have his way" or that it's "part of the relationship". So set that one aside, OP.

You don't sound like you think it's ok or normal, and you're right, it's not. He needs to back off and stop pressuring you. If he loves you, that's the bottom line. If he's using you as a wank sock then he's despicable and you shouldn't be treated that way. No one who loves and respects you should pressure you into sex, or want you to feel pressured into sex in any way, it really is that simple.

Treesthemovie · 04/05/2019 12:22

He doesn't sound very respectful if he is pushing you like this. Especially the "let me stick it in for 5 mins because a wank isn't the same" that's really grim.

Treesthemovie · 04/05/2019 12:22

This could be considered abusive you know.

Original poster
NeonQT · 04/05/2019 12:23

You’re right I don’t think it’s okay which is sort of what made me ask on here for opinions, but I have heard people say you can’t expect a man to go without for so long and to just get on with it.

OP posts:
NotReadyForThisX2 · 04/05/2019 13:43

I don't think it's 'normal' although some men may try convince their partners it is. Did you go off sex in the same way in your other pregnancies? And what was he like then?

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 04/05/2019 14:34

There’s still some who believe a woman should let a man have his way and it’s part of the relationship Well,don't be one of them!

I’ve explained it’s nothing to do with him personally that I don’t want sex, he understands it’s litetally just that when im pregnant I don’t like it and don’t like being touched intimately and he doesn’t take it personally, apart from that he’s a good person, respectful

He doesn't sound like he's being respectful and understanding,he sounds the complete opposite.

User199999999o9o999 · 04/05/2019 18:12

No it's not okay at all. He's an adult, not a child, he doesnt get to whine and press. He certainly isnt entitled to sex or anything else.

I had bad bad morning sickness through my pregnancy, dh wanked when he needed it of that I'm sure as i did the same after he had 4 operations. Never did he pressure me or make me feel bad and vice versa.

User199999999o9o999 · 04/05/2019 18:13

How is he respectful, he pressures you to use your body?

ghostbusters · 04/05/2019 18:36

My DH has never put pressure on me for sex. Ever. We even went without for 2.5 years when pregnant /sleep deprived with #1 and not once did I feel like I had to let him get on with it. My DH would be mortified if I felt like that. He would stop when I asked and he would not pull at my clothes when I wanted to keep my vest because I was breastfeeding.
People who say their OH can't go without are talking utter nonsense. Thou shall have sex is not part of wedding vows.

Shoxfordian · 04/05/2019 18:36

He's not respectful, he's disgusting
Plus there's a word for a man who pressures a woman to have sex op

DressyMcDressFace · 04/05/2019 18:40

Well it’s a bloody mystery to me why some women go off sex. Can’t think why...

Orange6904 · 04/05/2019 18:49

No, not normal op, it's really disrespectful. What if you were ill or injured would he still be like this? No men shouldn't just 'have their way'. Is that what he says to you?

Thehop · 04/05/2019 19:02

Your partner sounds like a disgusting man child.

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