Physical abuse episode 14 years ago, why cant i forget.

[Justcantforget]

Ive posted before about other things but name changed. Around 14 years ago my DH pulled me out of bed after a night out drinking and punched and kicked me. We had been out together and had an argument so i left him and went home alone and it happened when he got home. Nothing like that has happened since(together over 20years now) i feel like i cant argue at times as its always in the back of my mind he could do it again. Ive talked to him about this and i know hes sorry but i keep having times of thinking about that awful night

The more the better imo

The more men that are given the message that women are not simply punchbags, the better

This is a late lesson for him but better late than never. And certainly better before he repeats the violence.

BigisBumus you are part of the problem

@BigusBumus You’re clearly some kind of woman beater if you think she should stay with someone like this. Has this thread his a nerve?

How the fuck can someone be so dense that they think it's a bad thing to offer advice that a woman should leave a violent partner?

How are you doing op?

leatherflamingle im ok thanks, just thinking things over, things are going well lately i seem to go round in circles with my feelings thanks for asking.

Take good care of yourself, op

AnyFucker thanks, so hard when your with someone for so long to not imagine not being together and not really knowing if i want to stay together or not, head feels quite messed up. How can i love and be happy alot of the time then imagine wanting to part and be single sometimes aswell

Firstly, I'm sorry that happened to you. That must have been horrific. Not something that just goes away.

Secondly, you owe it to yourself to find a good therapist who can help you with this. Both the PTSD and helping you feel stronger and better about yourself. Therapists have seen everything. You talk, they listen. NO JUDGEMENT. Then you can make decisions about what you want to do next. From a position of strength, with support from someone who's trained to deal with situations like this.

If this was when it first happened, I'd be the first to say leave and get to safety now. But this is 20 years later. Not saying it couldn't happen again, but if there hasn't been another incident, you likely have time to set up an appointment. You're the best judge of that.
Don't delay making that call, though. The sooner you start, the sooner you'll be able to decide what you want the rest of your life to look like.

And lastly, once you feel better and stronger, if you and your therapist agree, you can bring him into sessions so you can discuss your fears, your feelings, and the future in a safe environment.
Good luck and I hope one day you can be free of the hypervigilance and fear. You've held it together all these years; now it's time to make life about you. 💜

Beenwhereyouare thanks for your advice, yes i feel like i need to see a therapist/talk to someone, do you know if i would have to do this privately or is it through my Doctor?.

I'm so glad you're going to talk to someone. IRL is difficult sometimes. Some will say LTB and others will tell you just to let it go. Obviously that isn't working for you. This way, you decide what's best for you, and you don't have to be concerned with what others will think about either of you.

As for finding a therapist, that will depend on whether you use NHS or go private. I'm in the US, and in my case, my insurance company didn't require a referral from my GP.

I found this link. I hope it helps.
www.nhs.uk/using-the-nhs/nhs-services/mental-health-services/how-to-access-mental-health-services/

Best wishes and I hope you PM me and let me know how it turns out. 💜

Beenwhereyouare I will defo seek help, thank you and i will keep you updated. Feels like a cloud is constantly over me so hopefully the cloud can be taken away.