I've ended an intense fling but we still have to see each other every day!

[fordfocused]

So I had a brief fling with a man at work, it lasted about a month. It transpired that he was married with a baby and although he liked me, I was just his bit on the side basically!

I had actually started to get feelings for him, so for this reason I made the decision to stop our situation on Friday. He told me that he was really gutted but understood and said it was the right decision.

The problem is we work in the same office together. And our desks are pretty close. I have to walk past him to go out the room and can hear his voice when he is talking etc. I feel pretty upset about the whole situation at the moment and although things ended friendly, I'm not sure how I will cope seeing him everyday!

Does anyone have any advice? Should I blank him? We're both in professional roles so neither of will be leaving our jobs! It's going to be hard :(

Did you know he had a family before it started?

Just.smile.and say.hello, make polite conversation if you have to. Your feelings for this two timing, cheating, lying creep will soon pass. Dont waste time upsetting yourself, find someone who is single and.available, you're worth more than being a.bit of crumpet.

This is one of those situations where you just have to suck it up and act like the professional you’re supposed to be.

No you shouldn’t blank him, nor should you seek him out to chat for any reason that’s not work related. Your colleagues already probably feel uncomfortable enough, don’t make it worse for them.

And how about just stop fucking married men, especially those you work with.

"Transpired he was married with a baby"
And yet your desks are close together? Sounds pretty convenient to me that you didn't know - did you miss the wedding ring on his finger as well!?

Both should have known better, you've made your bed's now lie in them. They say what goes around comes around... Hopefully if you marry and have a little one the same won't happen to you.

We work in different teams and the teams here don't really mix. He doesn't wear a wedding ring! And no one in the office had a clue... as I said it was only a month long fling.

.....was only a month long fling.
Wow.

Thebigwoman what do you mean? Why wow?

So you didn't know he was married ?

Think people are being mean because they think you knew he was married all along

How did you find out he was married? A month long fling will it be "only" to his wife, she'll be devastated.

*not be

@Flamingosnbears

Sounds like she didn't know he was married , no need to be So mean

OP works in the same office as this guy and says their desks are close.

Bullshit she didn’t know he was married.

And she says herself the only reason she ended it was because she started having feelings for him. Not because he is married with a baby.

I didn't know he was married until near the end of the fling... yes I should have ended it earlier though.

@fordfocused how did you find out?

I social media stalked him. His accounts were pretty private but there was a comment on a profile picture of his from a woman with the same surname and when I looked at her profile there was a picture of them on their wedding day.... just 3 years ago!

Just be grateful you've had a lucky escape, he sounds like a peach

@fordfocused bloody bastard, blank him!

Aren't you angry that he witheld this info?

Ok, I will admit that I suspected he wasn't single before I knew for sure.

@fordfocused at what stage? Before you started the "fling"?

3/10

Speak to him as much as you need to about work, nothing more.

He lied to you, he lied to his wife. You might not be the first or only....you won't be the last.

Ummm really 😕