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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Sister who is a doctor

80 replies

viccytwiffy · 26/04/2019 17:19

I (47) broke up recently with a boyfriend whom i couldnt feign interest in any longer (true boredom). He pestered me with letters and emails to take him back declaring forever love. I got rid of him eventually by sending him escalatingly rude emails. I made a bad mistake of citing violent threat in one of them, and he took it to the police and he contacted my sister (50) whom he had never met and showed her my emails and explained the break up. She sided with him (!), without consulting me, went to the police station with him and made a statement in support of him against me citing my emotional history. I have not seen her since 2 years when this happened. she is a doctor, she can get away with anything she likes.

OP posts:
poglets · 26/04/2019 17:25

You don't see her any longer, right?

What do you want to achieve from this thread?

whitesoxx · 26/04/2019 17:26

Was it recent or 2 years ago?

DovePetal · 26/04/2019 17:32

So you made violent threats but they’re in the wrong??

Ginger1982 · 26/04/2019 17:36

You clearly have a problem if you sent him violent threats!

Hollowvictory · 26/04/2019 17:38

You are in the wrong here sending violent threats.

pessimisticstateofperception · 26/04/2019 17:39

Why didn't you just block him rather than make violet threats. Or even contact the police yourself?

GloriousGoosebumps · 26/04/2019 17:39

What was your relationship like with your sister before she sided with your ex?

Contraceptionismyfriend · 26/04/2019 17:40

You do not come across as very stable here.

EntirelyAnonymised · 26/04/2019 17:41

I dont think this thread is going to give you what you want, OP

Original poster
viccytwiffy · 26/04/2019 17:43

stupid mistake sending violent threat - totes regretted that mistake.

relationship with sister was neutral, no problems, peaceful, uneventful.
i am stable, though, thats the thing, i just took my stability for granted, exploited it...

OP posts:
Original poster
viccytwiffy · 26/04/2019 17:44

my sister has sided with a man she has never met, without consulting me , without finding out why i couldnt bear him. he was manipulative, schemeing.... very controlling, wanted to move in the house opposite to mine...would 'never walk away'...

OP posts:
Contraceptionismyfriend · 26/04/2019 17:46

And instead of blocking him you thought it was a good idea to threaten him?

Original poster
viccytwiffy · 26/04/2019 17:47

she advised him to report me to the police, then made a statement about my mental health history (teenage depression and hospital treatment) and has become friends with him... i had not introduced them. she doesnt know all the things he said to me (obscene sexual stuff). and refuses to explain her actions. she is a sucessful doctor. she can literally do what she likes. she is a scary control freak.

OP posts:
Original poster
viccytwiffy · 26/04/2019 17:49

thats the thing, i didnt 'think', i just reacted to frustration. very very stupid. i did block him. he sent letters

OP posts:
Original poster
viccytwiffy · 26/04/2019 17:50

not sure what i want from this thread. my relationship with my sister is over. how can i accept such an act of disloyalty?

OP posts:
Ginger1982 · 26/04/2019 17:50

How do you know this? Have the police contacted you?

Drum2018 · 26/04/2019 17:50

Block the 2 of them and move on with your life without your sister. She sounds like she's welcome to him.

99calmbeforethestorm · 26/04/2019 17:51

She can do what she likes in the same way any adult can. Being a doctor has no relevance here.

Sending some one increasing rude emails and threatening violence rather than saying ‘it’s over’ does not sound very stable.

Fairenuff · 26/04/2019 17:53

... made a statement in support of him against me citing my emotional history

I take it you have been aggressive in the past then?

SalitaeDiscesa · 26/04/2019 17:53

Why is it on your mind now, two years on?

WorraLiberty · 26/04/2019 17:55

If you feel what she told the police is untrue, you must know a few people who will give more positive character references for you?

Original poster
viccytwiffy · 26/04/2019 17:55

thanks for your fair comments. its a difficult process ending relationship with my sister. i will always be attached to her, i've had her on a pedastal all my life. but i cannot accept her anymore. it would be a sign of weakness to forgive her. she isnt sorry about it anyway. thanks anyway. guess life is like that sometimes....

OP posts:
Original poster
viccytwiffy · 26/04/2019 17:59

i have never been 'aggressive - very peaceful gentle person...

i did tell him it was over, he didnt accept it.. he was not happy to be ended with, so he was winding me up with sickly love declarations. he was really sick. not a nice person. being a doctor means she does not have to account for her decisions or actions.... fact. not in the legal sense, but in the social sense.... I like the advice to block them both out of my life. they deserve eachother. they can gang up and that makes both of them very happy. its a sexual gratification thing i am sure. a real turn on.

OP posts:
Original poster
viccytwiffy · 26/04/2019 18:04

police dropped this matter, no charges issued. just have to find myself another sister.

OP posts:
hopefulhalf · 26/04/2019 18:04

Did this all happen 2 years ago ? I have to say you do sound a little emotionally unstable. Why now ?