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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I cheated? Drunk kiss on a night out?

64 replies

sweetnsuga123 · 23/04/2019 19:58

I have been with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years we are deeply in love and I am v happy. I went drinking last night (I am 21 and not a mum so sorry if I am not allowed to post here) and I literally cannot remember anything after entering the club. I woke up this morning feeling badly hungover and went home and was content. My friend then texted me saying she saw me kissing someone else but she doesn't know what happened or who initiated it. Obviously I am massively shocked and devastated it is completely out of character and I would never cheat. Of course I do not expect sympathy and I cant blame the alcohol but when I am sober I am not even attracted to anyone else. I also wet myself in the night because I was so drunk. I told my boyfriend right away and rang him and he's been very chilled about it and said he knows the type of person I am and that I wouldn't have reciprocated it and he trusts me. Of course he has been extremely forgiving and I am greatful but I can't shake the guilt feeling. I really can't remember doing it and I am only relying on my friends word but I dont see what reason she would have to make it up. I have asked her to ring me so I can get more detail about it but she is ignoring me.

How do I get past this guilt? I've told my parents and my friends and have been very apologetic but what good does that do? It was my fault for drinking that much and being in that situation. I feel sick to my stomach and I feel like I don't deserve to be on the planet anymore to be honest. Now I am going to have a reputation as a cheat and I have hurt the one person who I adore and love the most. I can't see a way out.

Any advice welcome.

OP posts:
wigglypiggly · 23/04/2019 20:05

It was just a kiss, seriously I'd be more worried about being so drunk you cant remember anything and you went yourself. Your drink could have been spiked, anything could have happened. Hope you're feeling better and it sounds like no one is blaming you or you have a reason to feel guilty.

HeckyPeck · 23/04/2019 20:21

Did you drink a lot? Enough to black out?

Have you blacked out before?

If it came on very suddenly I’d be concerned that your drink might have been spiked.

Original poster
sweetnsuga123 · 23/04/2019 20:23

@heckypeck I only rememember having one drink before I left and it is blank from then I don't know what i drank but I came home with all of my money and hadn't spent anything

OP posts:
ChampagneCommunist · 23/04/2019 20:25

Sounds like your drink may have been spiked

NewcastleChick · 23/04/2019 20:29

I think you were spiked.

joystir59 · 23/04/2019 20:30

Is it very out of character and strange for you OP to black out like this, or has it happened before? Where did you wake up?

Original poster
sweetnsuga123 · 23/04/2019 20:34

@joystir59 I can usually remember bits of the night but this time I can't. I woke up at my friends house I arranged to sleep at hers because I didn't want to get a taxi home on my own.

OP posts:
HeckyPeck · 23/04/2019 20:36

It sounds like you were spiked then OP.

Unless you’re on any medication that might interact badly with alcohol?

Original poster
sweetnsuga123 · 23/04/2019 20:37

@heckypeck I wasn't on any medication.

OP posts:
joystir59 · 23/04/2019 20:38

It's usual to remember just about everything even when you've been very drunk. Sometimes memory returns over the course of the following day but if you only normally recall bits of a night out it suggests you usually drink an extreme amount. Perhaps try to drink much less in future so that you remain in control.

HeckyPeck · 23/04/2019 20:38

Sorry OP. Sounds like your drink was spiked.

Did you have that drink you remember having at your friend’s house? How well do you know your friend?

LimpidPools · 23/04/2019 20:39

This sounds very much like your drink was spiked my love.

I really feel for you though - even if you just drank too much it sounds like you were taken advantage of when you were vulnerable. And your friend doesn't sound like much of a friend if she didnt come and drag you away when she saw you with somebody else, didn't make sure you got home safe and now won't answer you.

Whatever happened, be it alcohol or something more sinister, you've got a system full of it. Get some rest and hopefully you'll feel a little less horror tomorrow.

Original poster
sweetnsuga123 · 23/04/2019 20:39

@Heckypeck I trust my friend and yes I just had that one drink

OP posts:
LimpidPools · 23/04/2019 20:40

Cross post. At least she got you back safe then.

joystir59 · 23/04/2019 20:40

It is just wrong to only remember the first drink and nothing after that. Did you wake up feeling any unusual symptoms or side effects? Why is your friend ignoring you?

Original poster
sweetnsuga123 · 23/04/2019 20:41

@LimpidPools Thankyou. I have been sick about 20 times today I don't know whats going on. I don't think she's a good friend either to be honest. I appreciate your kind words.

OP posts:
Original poster
sweetnsuga123 · 23/04/2019 20:42

@joystir59 I dont know why shes ignoring me. I woke up still feeling drunk and weird and my vision was weird and my dad said I was speaking nonsense. I was then repeatedly sick all day.

OP posts:
apacketofcrisps · 23/04/2019 20:42

....surely you know one drink wouldn’t get you that drunk?!?

LimpidPools · 23/04/2019 20:43

How many drinks do you actually remember having and what were they?

It still really sounds very much like your drink was spiked.

joystir59 · 23/04/2019 20:44

Can any kind of blood test reveal if someone has drunk spiked drinks? Perhaps you could go to the police or to A&E?

Original poster
sweetnsuga123 · 23/04/2019 20:44

@apacketofcrisps I know that but I don't know if I drank whilst I was out I can't remember. And I only remember having one vodka and coke before we left @limpidpools

OP posts:
Original poster
sweetnsuga123 · 23/04/2019 20:45

@joystir59 I would but I think it would have left my system by now.

OP posts:
joystir59 · 23/04/2019 20:45

Or is it the case that at the back of your remind you remember the illicit kiss and are desperately trying to deny it/push it away?

joystir59 · 23/04/2019 20:46

You literally can't remember anything after having one drink at your friend's house?

Original poster
sweetnsuga123 · 23/04/2019 20:47

joystir59 I am being fully honest I do not remember the kiss or even being in the club

OP posts: