I cheated? Drunk kiss on a night out?

[sweetnsuga123]

I have been with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years we are deeply in love and I am v happy. I went drinking last night (I am 21 and not a mum so sorry if I am not allowed to post here) and I literally cannot remember anything after entering the club. I woke up this morning feeling badly hungover and went home and was content. My friend then texted me saying she saw me kissing someone else but she doesn't know what happened or who initiated it. Obviously I am massively shocked and devastated it is completely out of character and I would never cheat. Of course I do not expect sympathy and I cant blame the alcohol but when I am sober I am not even attracted to anyone else. I also wet myself in the night because I was so drunk. I told my boyfriend right away and rang him and he's been very chilled about it and said he knows the type of person I am and that I wouldn't have reciprocated it and he trusts me. Of course he has been extremely forgiving and I am greatful but I can't shake the guilt feeling. I really can't remember doing it and I am only relying on my friends word but I dont see what reason she would have to make it up. I have asked her to ring me so I can get more detail about it but she is ignoring me.

How do I get past this guilt? I've told my parents and my friends and have been very apologetic but what good does that do? It was my fault for drinking that much and being in that situation. I feel sick to my stomach and I feel like I don't deserve to be on the planet anymore to be honest. Now I am going to have a reputation as a cheat and I have hurt the one person who I adore and love the most. I can't see a way out.

Any advice welcome.

It sounds like you’ve actually had a lucky escape as it could of turned out so much worse.
I know that’s probably not much help right now, you have my deepest sympathies. It’s a horrendous thing to go through, I too have been spiked

Apart from GHB a lot of drugs used in drink spikings can be detected for several days

It probably wasn't drink spiking, just drinking too much. If you were already a bit drunk on entering the club, then if you continued drinking after entering the club this could explain the blurred memories. Kissing's not cheating by itself. I'd be more worried about getting blackout drunk (or just maybe having your drink spiked).

I do feel for you.

It is possible your drink was spiked and quite possibly not. What were you drinking?

Many years ago I was at a very posh black tie do in London with work, I drank a whole bottle of whiskey and was absolutely rat arsed.

To this day all I remember is crawling up the very grand hotel staircase on my hands and knees and snogging my boss. Everything else is a blank. I have never ever drunk like that since because the memory loss is frightening.

Just be ultra careful when you go out

Similar thing happened to me tnough I think in my case it was a case of drinking too much. I was away on a trip with work where I knew nobody and felt really lonely, ended up drinking loads to try and get through it - absolutely stupid but I was only 21 and had to learn things the hard way. Remembered nothing at all of a night out one evening and then the next morning woke up to really insinuating/creepy comments from one of the boys in the shared dorm about me having dancing with loads of men and possibly getting with them, but I had absolutely no memory of any of it. I hated myself for ages but I try and see it now as - if you see an absolutely wasted woman getting sick/falling over whilst out, what sort of person are you to go up to her and flirt/kiss her? And then to taunt her the next day? Just be careful x

What can happen I think based on my own experience when I was younger and stupider is that if you get moderately drunk, and then stop drinking, you'll remember everything. Your memories will be slightly fuzzy though.

But if you keep drinking and get absolutely sloshed, you'll lose your memories from the time you started drinking. From your perspective you just started to drink, and then everything is a blur. This is why getting blackout drunk can seem similar to getting drugged. Still, getting your drink spiked is still a possibility women especially need to watch out for.

Please go to the hospital and tell them you think your drink was spiked. At the least if you've been sick 20 times today you are going to be dangerously dehydrated and in need of medical assessment if not treatment too.

You have confessed.
You have been forgiven.
Please forgive yourself.
It really does sound like your drink was spiked.
It's happened to me once before.
I was so so sick and I'm never sick with alcohol.
I knew something was very wrong quite early on.
You should not be at 'forget stage' with one drink OP.
You know this.
Please stop beating yourself up.
You are not a bad person.
You've not done anything like this before and won't again.
Try to move on.

Firstly, sorry to hear this OP. Hope you’re ok.

If your drink was spiked this is a plausible reason and you shouldn’t feel guilty.

BUT!!!! I find this so funny how if this was on the other foot as a man posting this all hell would be let loose and you’d all be calling him the scum of the earth for doing that to his lady. Oh the double standards.

My interpretation would be that your friend spiked your drink. There are a few different explanations though I suppose.

Horrible for you, however it happened.

Oh the double standards
I'd say exactly the same to a guy in this situation.
It's not as often at all that men have their drinks spiked.
But if it was this obvious, I would definitely tell him so.

I would go to A&E and tell them that you think you've been drugged. If they find any of the usual date-rape drugs in your system you can then notify the police. The police can ask your friend what club you went to and for timings to check CCTV.

My questions would be:

1. Have I been drugged (need to find out by hospital blood test NOW):
2. If drugged, did my friend drug me at her home?
3. Why can't I remember being in a club?
4. Did I actually go to a club at all if I only have friend's word for it?
5. Have I been sexually assaulted? (suggest hospital examination).
6. Did my friend, unbeknownst to me, or others at her home sexually assault me?
7. Did I really kiss a man in a club?
8. Why is my friend not talking to me?
9. How did I get home?

You need some answers OP. Go to the hospital in case you have been sexually assaulted under the influence of a date-rape or other drug.

If you have had sex take the morning after pill.

Have an STI check.

Don't trust said friend unless you don't have any drugs in your system, which I assume means that you did drink excessively. If the case, drink in moderation in future.

The same thing happened to me - went out barely drinking anything to waking up in my room not knowing what happened and throwing up for the next three days - my friends told me this lad we know kissed me and I was was worst I’d ever been - was heart broken because I’ve been with my boyfriend for a whole year now and I wouldn’t never ever dream of cheating as I’m so in love with him :( I told him and he was so understanding as he has also been spiked before - family and friends have helped as well saying that it wasn’t my fault what happened but you just feel so guilty all the time.

OP I'm suspicious of your 'Friend' tbh... her behaviour after the night out speaks volumes... avoiding you.. is feeling she guilty?