HELP

[lowerthanalowthing]

I have 2 daughters from a previous relationship and a son with my husband of 15 years.
My eldest daughter (20) doesn't live with us, she moved out at 18 due to clashes with my husband as she grew up, they just couldn't get along. She had lived happily on her own for the past 2 years now, with me very involved in her life! Home life was easier all round without her being there. I know that sounds awful, but my other daughter (17) felt happier too- she gets on fine with my husband and has never had any issues so it's not because of blood, it's a definite personality clash.
My eldest daughter has got herself into a bad relationship, she's been the victim of abuse, and hasn't been paying her bills, got into a mess and has asked to come home cos she needs me.
I've broached the subject with my husband (nervously) and he said he doesn't want her here.
I now feel really torn because she needs me, but my son and other daughter also need him... I feel like I'm being made to choose.
Is affecting the way I am with him, I feel bitter and angry towards him and I'm picking fights constantly. I know I am, but I feel so angry with him.
What should I do?
I'm thinking of leaving, renting a house for me the kids (all of them) but is that fair on the others? He is adamant she isn't moving back in, but she hasn't paid her rent for 2 months now and I can't afford to pay it, and I want to keep her safe away from her abusive partner!! I don't see any other way out of it.
Help!

@Graphista
In another thread?
I hadn't noticed anything like that itt - just that it's been a 19 year marriage/relationship with child (3rd for op, not sure if only 1 for husband).

Preachin to the converted .

Also the therapy for daughter comment was not aimed at yourself (I should have specifically quoted that poster).

Though I agree she should have some counseling of her own to deal with her childhood/life to date.

She's copying what she's seen at home, ie going out with an abusive man like her stepfather.
I remember your post earlier this year about him chucking the tumble drier.
He has been playing mind games with you for years so will be difficult to see it for what it is.

I would leave. Simple.

Our kids avoid him cos he's so negative. When he goes out they all come out their rooms and sit with me, when he comes back they all scurry back off! It's mad! Our son doesn't like him cos he's always moody

Ah, there's that personality conflict the 'delinquent'eldest daughter has with him demonstrated again .. the other daughter gets on fine with him (probably because she's hiding in her room or knows to keep her mouth shut).

Very interesting seeing from others what op has previously posted about this Fucking prince she places above her kids!

Can't say I'm surprised. But I really don't understand it.

What she's previously posted makes no sense in relation to this thread. 19 year relationship, yet 17 year old is not his and 20 year old was 4 when they got together?? Hope its not... But guessing it may just be entirely made up nonsense

Sounds like you need to move out and live with DD(20) and leave DD(17) and DS with DH at home until DD(20) is sorted. When she is then you can move back with DH and co.

If DD(20) is the nightmare you make her about to vbe DD(17) and DS will move back with DH pretty soon anyway so why not just leave them there for now and be close enough to see them daily and keep your marriage intact?

Oh dear, can anyone reading this thread read OPs other threat describing her husband's behaviour and his relationship with all 3 kids. It tells a very different story.
And OP you shouldn't have to be nervous about bringing up the topic of your daughter with your husband.

Thread not threat, sorry.

I doubt op will be back to answer.

But what's the truth op.

Without truth, no one can help.

I suspect, you want to leave him are looking for reasons.