How do I make sex good for him?

[namechangeragain1]

Sorry I have tried to post in Sex. I have a new partner - slept together maybe 10 times. He has never ejaculated - he gets hard for a while and I think it's going to happen but then it just stops.

What can I do to make it good for him? I hate oral - what else can I do?

Have you spoken to him? My DH used to never be able to finish, literally just because he would get nervous. Maybe sit down and talk about what you could do as a pair?

Yes: have you asked him?

From a man's perspective sitting down and talking about it, especially this early on might make things worse. If he has an issue it might highlight things more when having sex as he might be thinking too much. Is he relaxed around you when in bed? Spontaneity works great with me, and nothing like a glass or 2 to relax.

Sorry if not much hp,but just my 2 cents.

I agree. But saying, "What turns you on?" isn't the same as saying, "Why can't you ejaculate?" The first question might be a good place to start.

@ afistfull, true. However when I've been in similar situations it's because I'm thinking too much about ejaculating. For alot of guys it's all in the head (no pun intended)

It's like, when you've lost something, you look high and low, can't find it, and when you stop looking, BOOM, there it is

Drink alcohol

is it good for you though? im guessing you are both trying too hard at the moment

Could try getting him to share porn ...or porn gifs ..always a good insight on how to nail it

Alcohols a bad choice. Heard of brewers droop? I'd try and have a conversation about it, to understand if this is a new problem with just me, or a longer standing issue. Can he ejaculate when he masterbates? Perhaps a trip to the drs is in order.

Watching women have sex for money is such a turn on

"Watching women have sex for money is such a turn on hmm"

What's that got to do with this post?

Lube and Viagra. And more lube

There is a fair amount of amateur porn ...I just suggested it because it can be an easy way of sharing sexual preferences without having to explain

They say for the best sex stimulate the five senses...

Agreed, Needfull1 - ED is frequently mind over matter (though the mind can be a very strong bugger).

Could be retarded ejaculation to look into.

Suggest you get him as turned on as possible before penetration ... if not oral, then by hand, sexy atmosphere and clothes.

Assume that contraception is completely addressed, as that could be on his mind?

Could try getting him to share porn

blimey, he cant come with you so try and get him some other women to look at so he can come? urgh, who could be arsed with that?

How about edging ? That’s almost like reverse psychology ....demand that he isn’t “allowed” to ejaculate ? That would take the pressure off, let him relax

Does it seem to bother him? Not ejaculating doesn’t mean he isn’t also enjoying it, not does it mean you’re doing something wrong.

Think I am being wilfully misunderstood regarding the sharing porn suggestion ...the idea isn’t to get him aroused ...but rather an alternative way of communicating each other’s sexual preferences

what a time to be alive.

Thanks for all these responses - really helpful - even the porn one.

Or the OP could - you know - talk to him? Or is that just too old fashioned?

I can talk to him I just don't want him to feel bad or anything